Please can anyone advise me on this I'm panicking x

[Flo1610]

:30Flo1610

Sorry this is a bit long. I'm in panic mode at the moment. Been with DP for 2 years, both separated from exh/exw. For a number of reasons I think he is cheating and may have one foot out if the door already. He can go, it's not been the best of relationships and he takes me massively for granted. My panic is my house. I bought this house with a deposit from the profit of selling the family home. I have a mortgage for the rest. Dp has his money from his sale in the bank. Much more than me approx 150k. He is what I would describe as quite a good earner (about 52k per year) I earn 25k. My problem is he has put some money into this house when I bought it. Probably around 10 to 15k for carpets etc.

Does he have any rights to the house. I am on the deeds, he is not. He pays half the bills but non of the mortgage. I didn't ask him for any money at all, he insisted, I was happy to do just a room at a time but he pushed with promises of building a life together in a lovely home. I have children who I want to leave the house to. I'm worried I will be forced to sell as I don't have 15k to give him now. I feel constantly sick, does anyone have any advice? Thank you

You should post on the Legal Matters board - you're more likely to get knowledgeable responses there.

I would go all guns blazing. How dare he live with you rent free and be cheating on you! I would tell him that if he doesn't go quietly, you will tell everyone that he freeloaded rent free off you whilst he was shagging someone else. I'd threaten to post it all over his Social media and tell his parents, his kids, his friends. Make him think twice. Find your anger!!

I think whatever you do don't have anything in writing where you say "you can have the carpets" - ensure there is no written record that implies the carpets were anything other than a gift.

Fucking mumsnet!! Keeps crashing on me!!

I lost my long post to you, I'll make this one short.

Ask kids Dad to have them tonight. If he can't family/friends whatever. Ask someone to come over if you're worried about his reaction.

TELL him to move out.

Any talk of money, tell him it's YOUR house, not joint/shared.

If he carries on tell him fine, see you in court.
He hasn't got a leg to stand on!

Wallow tomorrow if you feel sad, because although HE is not something to be sad at 'losing' (lying, cheating twat) it's natural to be sad it hasn't turned out how you hoped/planned!

Then don't wallow...get on with making the place truly yours (& the kids) if it's not finished yet choose a room to do next, if it's finished now, maybe move the lounge/bedroom around do it feels more yours!

He has plent of money to stay in a hotel while he sorts himself out. Stop worrying about that!

Oh & be strong! Confident & strong.

You know he bamboozles you & talks you around. Just keep in the forefront of your mind him shagging/kissing/telling the OW that he loves her or whatever you thought he only said to you & get angry!!!

Strong & confident!!

I seriously doubt its 15 grand. You didn't say that you would repay him did you? Did he say I'll pay for these and you repay me? If he didn't then I would only repay for the boiler.

another lawyer here - yes he could have acquired a beneficial interest in the property.

I wouldn't panic though. In practice it will be very expensive and time consuming for him to prove. It certainly isn't going to end in him having 50% of the house.

In your shoes I would break up with him. Have a conversation in writing where you show your shock at any suggestion by him that he has a right to the house. Ask him to provide receipts of work carried out and then work out a fair plan from there.

www.abacus-law.co.uk/blog/cohabitation-rights-when-partner-moves-into-your-property/

@Flo1610

Nothing in writing at all, he could produce receipts I suppose. He told me it's 15k he's spent, I thought it was less but stupidly didn't keep track.

DM was in this situation the opposite way round. From the sale of her house she sank ££££‘S into her DP’s house.

He cheated and they separated. She got nothing.

They were together for 14 years which was why she was daft enough to contribute to his home.

@MatildaIThink many people have advised her she must get legal advice. She has said she does not want to. She wants the mixed views of mumsnet. I agree legal advice is better, but maybe stop taking a pop at people? I just do not get people who come on to mumsnetsay OMG PEOPLE CAME ONTO MUMSNET ASKING FOR NON EXPERT VIEWS, AND ALL THESE ANNOYING PEOPLE ARE NOW GIVING NON EXPERT VIEWS!!! It's very illogical.

The OP has said she DOES want legal advice and is going to go down that route .

@Beautiful3

I seriously doubt its 15 grand. You didn't say that you would repay him did you? Did he say I'll pay for these and you repay me? If he didn't then I would only repay for the boiler.

Carpets, electrical work, boiler....possibly installing radiators/rewiring, new consumer unit...it could be.

But it's irrelevant really, he chose to do it, he chose not to get any legal advice/ paperwork so his problem! (When he has ££ in the Bank, earns twice what the OP does and insisted on doing stuff she was happy to wait to do!)

[quote RBKB]@MatildaIThink many people have advised her she must get legal advice. She has said she does not want to. She wants the mixed views of mumsnet. I agree legal advice is better, but maybe stop taking a pop at people? I just do not get people who come on to mumsnetsay OMG PEOPLE CAME ONTO MUMSNET ASKING FOR NON EXPERT VIEWS, AND ALL THESE ANNOYING PEOPLE ARE NOW GIVING NON EXPERT VIEWS!!! It's very illogical.[/quote]
The problem is has is some people, it seems more than half are deliberately giving wrong advice. This could have a big impact on the OP. What is illogical is people choosing to give wrong advice, remember this is not opinion, but an area of law.

I would go all guns blazing. How dare he live with you rent free and be cheating on you! I would tell him that if he doesn't go quietly, you will tell everyone that he freeloaded rent free off you whilst he was shagging someone else. I'd threaten to post it all over his Social media and tell his parents, his kids, his friends. Make him think twice. Find your anger!!

If he does have a legal leg to stand on, this is certainly one way to make the situation a whole lot worse!

@Flo1610

Nothing in writing at all, he could produce receipts I suppose. He told me it's 15k he's spent, I thought it was less but stupidly didn't keep track.

It's relatively recent so you can easily ask the carpet supplier to check their records.

I would say if he wants the carpets, let him take the carpets.

It's not like he paid to have brickwork restored or put in a dormer level. He bought furniture. If it means so much to him, he can have the carpets. You can get cheapy rugs from Ikea until you can replace them.

you will have to go with the flow here a bit i guess. there is not much you can do else.

1. he needs to go asap because he is cheating.
2. if he wants stuff he needs to go legal way and then you get legal, too. i wouldnt listen to his threats and i wouldnt talk to him much other than above stuff. dont go into an argument with him. when he goes go no contact.

btw he can take his carpets and any other removable item.