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Original poster

Do men regret leaving??

41 replies

EasyGoing80 · 15/10/2021 14:42

As a woman whose husband has left the marital home for greener grass, I’m just looking for some experience on how men feel once reality kicks in??

Do they regret it? I imagine they would never admit it anyway.

I by no means want my ex back, but feel it’s only natural to want to see a bit of regret.

Any stories for cheer me up?

OP posts:
WatieKatie · 15/10/2021 15:01

Mine did! Ran off with OW shortly after I gave birth to our dc. I didn’t see it coming and of course he lied about why he was leaving which made it much harder for me.

Anyway a third party told me about that affair, I filed for divorce which took six months and a lot of pushing to get my then husband to sign the paperwork. He was telling me he wanted to keep the door open and OW he wanted to be with her. I was having none of it.

A month after the decree absolute came through he appeared at the front door in tears. OW had dumped him (onto her next victim who was married with two young children) & he was well & truly shafted. I told him no obviously.

It was a year of living in a fog, three years of slog getting my new career up and running and I was off men for five years. I can honestly say eight years down the line it has given me a second chance at having a brilliant life that I would never had with him.

Good luck OP.

AgentProvocateur · 15/10/2021 15:03

The two I know who left their families both regretted it once the initial excitement of the new woman had worn off.

Blackopal · 15/10/2021 15:03

Yes, mine did.
No, I don't care Wink

SameToo · 15/10/2021 15:03

My dad had an affair, married, then another affair. I think some regret it, some are just never satisfied. My dad is the latter.

GooodMythicalMorning · 15/10/2021 15:07

I don't know if my ex regrets it, it's only been 4 months. He definitely isn't happier because of it.

BornIn78 · 15/10/2021 15:12

A family member regrets it every time. It doesn’t stop him doing it again every 2-3 years, and in turn that doesn’t stop his wife taking him back every single time.

I’ve nothing but contempt for the pair of them, and disgust at the drama and circus they subject their kids and the wider family into every few years.

Cocomumma · 15/10/2021 15:13

I never thought I would ever hear my ex say he regrets leaving, however after 10 years him having a new family and me just being happy plodding along, he turned up at my house at 1.30am tuesday crying his eyes out saying that the biggest mistake of his life was leaving me and our dc for pastures green.

I'm glad karma has finally found him and he is about 8 years too late for any type of reconciliation, they don't always regret it and I told him that one day he would and when that day came he would never be able to come back, he laughed in my face as he walked out the door. I laughed in his face whilst I slammed it shut. Grin

user1471538283 · 15/10/2021 16:56

My ex did after about 6 months. I can remember him laughing and waving as he drove off. Within 6 months he was on the phone all the time accusing me of dangling him on a string and turned up to give it another go. He really couldn't believe that I didn't want him back.

spongebobscaredypants · 15/10/2021 18:43

Mine did, immediatel begged for forgiveness, gave him a second chance, before long did it again.

Has spent the last 10 months begging for another chance.

Nope you don't get a third.

Have met a wonderful man and didn't know such kindness existed outside of a novel

DrSbaitso · 15/10/2021 19:15

@WatieKatie

Mine did! Ran off with OW shortly after I gave birth to our dc. I didn’t see it coming and of course he lied about why he was leaving which made it much harder for me.

Anyway a third party told me about that affair, I filed for divorce which took six months and a lot of pushing to get my then husband to sign the paperwork. He was telling me he wanted to keep the door open and OW he wanted to be with her. I was having none of it.

A month after the decree absolute came through he appeared at the front door in tears. OW had dumped him (onto her next victim who was married with two young children) & he was well & truly shafted. I told him no obviously.

It was a year of living in a fog, three years of slog getting my new career up and running and I was off men for five years. I can honestly say eight years down the line it has given me a second chance at having a brilliant life that I would never had with him.

Good luck OP.

That's a very inspiring story.
crimsonlake · 15/10/2021 19:24

Op I get what you mean, but I am not sure if I believe in karma, but I live in hope.
My ex sent a text asking if I would ever forgive him...that got no response from me so no idea if he wanted to return and he would not have been welcome anyway.

samyeagar · 15/10/2021 20:18

Have not regretted leaving for even one second. Best decision of my life.

amusedtodeath1 · 15/10/2021 20:23

Mine did too, left me for a woman who a year later he found out was having an affair with his best mate. He was devastated and wanted to crawl back home.... obviously that didn't work out for him either....poor lamb. Wink

Stillfunny · 15/10/2021 20:23

Mine is regretting that I made him leave as soon as possible and getting a job. He has lost that job and two others since . He can live in his car for all I care.
He would love to come back but only if I never mention his behaviour and pretend like nothing happened. Not a chance in hell.
Maybe the ones that have somewhere or someone else to go to don't regret it .

BakingOfTheFoodCats · 15/10/2021 20:24

Some will some won’t

JustAnother0ldMan · 15/10/2021 20:32

Some will, some won’t, same as anything in life, leaving my wife was the best thing I ever did, and I have a couple of friends who left their wives and went on to be much happier as well.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 15/10/2021 22:13

Just like women, some will and some won't, some will have a few regrets but feel it was ultimately for the best, some will regret not leaving sooner.

I think in general though, if they've left for someone they've had an affair with, there's more likelihood of regrets because they've made decisions in a stage of infatuation and an artificial, secret atmosphere which is intoxicating and encourages risk taking. Once they move in together and realise the affair partner is a human being who uses the toilet and farts in bed, those rose tinted glasses can really slip off quick 😂

That said, I've left two relationships, one for someone else who I went on to marry (and left him many years later) and I've never regretted either. My last LTR ended with him leaving me for someone else and as far as I know they are happily married - although he did come sliding into my DMs looking for a booty call 2 years in 🙄

GentlemanJay · 15/10/2021 22:51

I didn't leave for greener pastures. I moved back in with my 80 something mother. I wish I'd done it sooner.

Lovestoned · 15/10/2021 23:51

@JustAnother0ldMan that's interesting, normally it's all regrets as soon as men realise the nice happy secure family unit is gone. Why were you and your friends happier? What were the big differences?

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 15/10/2021 23:58

My exH does now now he has to earn his own money and lives in a shitty bedsit.
I don't give a fuck.

SortCode · 16/10/2021 00:01

No they dont.

They regret getting caught

They regret not having the safe steady relationship you both had when it all goes tits up

TedMullins · 16/10/2021 00:14

Purely based on the men I know who’ve left secure long term relationships (not marriages though) - no, none of them regret it and have gone on to find new relationships they seem happier in. Certainly no one has ever regretted dumping me! 😂Grin

workshy44 · 16/10/2021 01:04

I think if it comes out of the blue , generally happy relationship then tend to regret it as it’s almost an aberration- if they were not happy an exit affair then no. I have no seen on real life affair relationships work out though. Some have stayed together but that mainly been from what I have seen to prove that all the damaged caused was “worth it” and they don’t want to be alone !

Obsidiansphere · 16/10/2021 01:14

Men are such twats! Oh my god! I hated my ex and he hurt me physically, emotionally and in every way….new partner loves and regards my children as his…we have children together…loves my my grandchildren as his own …

welliesarefuntowear · 16/10/2021 08:05

"He would love to come back but only if I never mention his behaviour and pretend like nothing happened. Not a chance in hell."

This is it isn't it? They want to come back and play nappy families. They don't want to work on themselves. They don't want to reflect on their part in the breakdown of your relationship. But by God they expect you too. I'm 18 months out. I'm still in a legal battle trying to get him to sell our jointly owned home which he refuses to leave. They regret it all right. But only from the point of view that it's caused them inconvenience. The trauma you've gone through. It's nothing to them. And knowing he withheld the fact that he was having sex with someone else means he didn't gain my consent to have sex with me.

You will come to despise him.