Do men regret leaving??

[EasyGoing80]

As a woman whose husband has left the marital home for greener grass, I’m just looking for some experience on how men feel once reality kicks in??

Do they regret it? I imagine they would never admit it anyway.

I by no means want my ex back, but feel it’s only natural to want to see a bit of regret.

Any stories for cheer me up?

@Lovestoned my wife was cheating, so no regrets at all from that angle,
Couple of friends really married the wrong women in hindsight, one guy in particular let him wife for OW, and they have been together for years now and have a new family.
The difference is probably in men who marry too quickly or maybe too young and in reality probably marry the wrong person

I became good friends with a man a couple of years ago. He had left his wife and two children maybe seven or so years earlier, for another woman and was living with her and her two children. He told me that if he was being honest, he wished that he had stayed with his first wife. I don’t know that he was actually still in love with her or anything, it seemed to me more that he wished he had taken a different path in life.

That is my only example, I have never chatted with a man who left his wife before, but anyhow the one I did, regretted it.

I'm going to take this from another angle. In my DPs case it was his ex wife who had the affair and ran off with another man. They broke up shortly after. She came back to DP and said she was sorry wanted to try again. He said ok for the sake of DSS but he wanted to work on the relationship and said that they needed to go to councelling if it was going to work. She refused.
Found another man shortly after. Shacked up with him. Had DSS calling the new man daddy within a couple of months of knowing him. A few years later new husband gets arrested for domestic abuse ( she stayed). I think she would never admit to regretting leaving and the grass certainly wasnt greener but she would never admit it.

Some will regret it some won't. The same as women who leave.

It really depends on what they are leaving / why they are leaving.

If you're leaving because your OH is unfaithful / an addict / abusive, then you likely won't regret it. If you're leaving because you just don't get on anymore and there's no real relationship left, then you likely won't regret it.

If you're leaving a perfectly good relationship because you think the grass is greener, then there's a good chance you'll regret it.

I think it depends - leaving because the marriage isn't working but without an affair going on is probably less likely to lead to regrets. Leaving because you think the grass is greener is riskier.

I walked out of a marriage and left my wife and 2 two children

No OW but I did have a female friends not sure if they would be classed EA

My now ex was verbally aggressive, name calling and on 2 occasions violent

Yes I regret it because I went into the marriage wanting it to work, dating and marriage time together 28 years

Ex within a year had found someone else OLD and now living within him

Yep @layladomino has got it spot on

It really depends on the context. Sometimes the grass is greener and sometimes it's not. I think on mumsnet especially if someone has left because of an affair they are to be vilified. This is rightly so in some cases. But in others an affair might give the person who had the affair the courage to leave an abusive relationship. The was the case with one of my dear friends. She is now much happier and her children.

Mine did. And still does. I actually left him but he had checked out of the marriage.

He's still trying to worm his way back in now despite the fact that we're divorced and I've been in a relationship with someone else for the past three years.

No I don't regret it in the slightest and no I wouldn't go back if he was the last man on earth.

My DF had an affair with a 19 year old woman when he was in his early 30s, almost 40 years ago. Split from DM and left behind DC ranging from 10YO to very young (months old). Married OW, had other DC and they're both very happy. They are more well suited than DM/DF. DM has also remarried a man she is far more suited to and is very happy.

XH regretted it. He and OW split after 4 months and he tried to come back. I think it depends why they left though. If it is because of abuse or infidelity then someone is less likely to regret leaving.

On here you will hear that all the men bitterly regretted it and came back cap in hand, only to be told by the wife (who is naturally happier than ever before and living her best life) to jog on.

The reality is a mix. Some do regret it. Others really don't and are happy in their new life. In the same way some women go on to be much happier; and some live a life feeling sad about it and never really moving on.

@writingsonthewall

On here you will hear that all the men bitterly regretted it and came back cap in hand, only to be told by the wife (who is naturally happier than ever before and living her best life) to jog on.

The reality is a mix. Some do regret it. Others really don't and are happy in their new life. In the same way some women go on to be much happier; and some live a life feeling sad about it and never really moving on.

This is true.

Most of the men I know who left their first wives are now married to their "OW" and seem pretty happy. But some do regret it. One regretted it, went back to his wife, and they conceived a baby almost immediately!

I know of a few men and women who did this. One realised OW wasn’t for him and asked to go back and ex said yes, he left again a few months later as realised OW was the catalyst and the marriage was unhappy
The other two, one left and didn’t stay with OW but didn’t want his wife back
The other left for a much younger woman and they remain together, very happy and have 3 dc

Op there is no one answer to this and yes everyone wants to think they regret it and are pining for them.

In reality I think some do, but the vast majority do not. It takes a lot to leave a marriage or signficant relationship and it’s seldom done by someone happy in that relationship