Help! staying over with new man at the weekend and not confident about my body

[Zazu44]

Hi, please help, I'm staying over with a new guy at the weekend and I'm really body conscious and about 2 st overweight.

My last relationship was very toxic, and he hated it when I put weight on over menopause/ hysterectomy and was very cruel about it causing massive depression and worse. I had zero self esteem.
I've worked hard to get 'me' back again but my insecurities are raising their head again and I'm terrified about being naked with him even though there is massive attraction between us.
Do I tell him about the past and how I feel and what's happened or just go with it and be brave.
Any advice?

Glad to be of help OP

I hope you have the best weekend!

Going against the grain here but maybe don't have sex yet or stay over until it feels right?
Build trust.
Get to know each other better.

Thanks everyone feel much better about it all. @Moretodo I can't wait I really want him 😳 it's bad enough waiting until the weekend!
Sooo excited

@2catsandhappy

He finds you desirable and attractive. There is a heady whiff of sexual chemistry swirling around. He wants you. He is curious and excited for you. He is nervous too. Firmly stop that ex business. He is a king twat. Banish him from your head. Think now about fresh breath, maybe a teensy lady-garden trim, nice nails. If you are eating, avoid beans and onions. Gas. I found getting into bed first helped. As did a thigh length pretty robe for walking/sashaying around in. DO NOT mention ex. Total mood killer. Fingers crossed for you *@Zazu44* I really hope you have a exciting time xx

Bloody love this. This man is desperate to get you naked - he really isn't going to be disappointed!!

@Zazu44

Thanks everyone feel much better about it all. *@Moretodo* I can't wait I really want him 😳 it's bad enough waiting until the weekend! Sooo excited

And that is the most attractive thing about any women to any man. Really wanting and desiring them. So it will all go fine. And none of us are jealous, honestly

@Zazu44. Just a thought from my own experience...my XH used to get at me for gaining weight, in a most unpleasant way. When I eventually had enough of his many abusive ways, he very quickly got with another woman. There may even have been an overlap. Oddly, she was bigger than I was. Not a problem, but the problem it appears, was not my weight after all, but the fact that he was an ar*ehole. They got married, and he is apparently bleating on about her weight. Just another form of abuse sadly. Anyhoo, the problem wasn't you from the sounds of it. Good luck, and have good sexy time

In a way this is a really lovely worry to have. This guy obviously fancies you - It wouldn't of got to this point if he didn't. And you clearly fancy him too so as above poster said this is the most important thing.

I was in this situation about 2 years ago and a friend gave me some great advice.

Practice being naked on your own. So after a bath or shower don't rush to put your clothes back on. In the privacy of your own bedroom have a wander around naked - sit on a chair - read a book for a bit - just be naked for a while. I got into the habit of drying my hair naked - it was a bit weird to start with - as I was looking in the mirror totally naked. After a while though I got used to seeing myself - wobbly bits and all and I swear when it came to getting naked in front of my fella it really helped as I didn't feel as self conscious and that in itself gave me confidence.

Also agree with other posters suggestions of getting yourself some decent underwear and nightwear. Buy something YOU like and makes you feel good.

You really really don't need to worry about it.

If I've got a woman naked in front of me, I'm far far too busy being enormously chuffed that she's naked and anticipating what's coming next, to care about wobbly bits etc.

We can tell roughly what you're going to look like in the nude, by what you looked like clothed. If you've gotten this far, then he's enormously happy with that mental picture, and the reality is not going to be that much different.

Besides, the imperfections make us feel better about the slight beer belly, the scarred back from teenage acne, the distinctly average sized penis.

Thanks @fdgdfgdfgdfg that's reassuring and I'm sure he is apprehensive too. I'm just used to not being good enough with my last partner......but I bloody well am now!
@Bypassed21 i love that idea and I've bought some lovely lingerie that I feel good in 🤞🏻
@SpongeBobJudgeyPants I intend to have the most amazing sleepless night 😊
@ClareBlue yes I do absolutely desire him - isn't that a lovely word 😊
@2catsandhappy some amazing advice thankyou x it's weird, when you're used to someone saying nice things then the next minute makes you feel like crap, you almost hold your breath waiting for it.
@OrlandointheWilderness I hope so 🤞🏻

Thanks everyone doesn't feel half so scary now xx

Let us know how you get on!

Fake tan (even a very light one) does wonders. Get your nails done how you like them. Buy some new undies & perfume. Have a lovely bath/shave/wax and moisturise the day before. And have fun!

@Beautybunny

Men like a bit of meat on the bone, even the skinny ones. There is a lid for every pot. I am overweight but I am big busted, slim legged, somewhat attractive and like a good ride. What's not to like? A lady who likes a man is a good shout. Men are only after the three Fs. Have a great weekend.

What?

He finds you desirable and attractive

This ^ wot @2catsandhappy said

All those cosmetic things we do, like having our nails done, spray tanning are about grooming in order to attract a mate.

You are way past that stage. Be happy that the attraction is mutual, relax and enjoy yourself. It will all be good. Enjoy.

How is your weekend OP!?

Reporting back. It was wonderful.......😉

Haha good for you OP, see nothing to fear!

Good on you @Zazu44

@Zazu44

Fantastic, glad you had a great time.

oh bless you OP. I am certain that he will be absolutely thrilled to be intimate with someone he clearly likes a lot who really wants him! Enthusiasm and as others have said, naked female bodies are a powerful combination.

Ah just seen the update! Excellent 😁

Aww perfect!!!!

So happy to see your update!

Ok new update..... usually messages loads and always goodnight but very quiet since I left. Maybe it wasn't so good for him...😢

He doesn't want to be bugging you.

He loved it that you loved it so much. When he next gets in touch, he may well say sorry for not contacting as much as usual.

Have you text him good night ? He might be wondering if you've cooled off and doesn't want to pester you if that's the case.