Mil is my ds childminder and she thinks she has all rights on him!!help!!!

[holidayneeded]

She sometimes looks after ds as i go to work 2/3 days'week... she is a real control freak...and does not respect my wishes. For example, when i say do not cut his hair too short, she will do it as short as she can as she claims that ds will eat better this way....she tells me what to cook for him and thinks her cooking is better than mine, tells me how not to dress him up( at 18 month he should stilll wear a one piece suit)...whenever i mention anything she does as if she knows better and always disagree with me...always mentions how skinny my son is and that if he put on 1 or 2kgs, he will be better...and seems to think that i do not feed him as well enough...that and a lot more drives me crazy as i do not seem get any respect but i rely on her...i am seriously thinking of changing him to nursery but i do not trust them...i am stuck....
am i being unreasonable? i need advise please...
btw, dp fed up with it and does not seem to support me...

It's a difficult one as you are relying on her and she feels a sense of power over you.

If you feel strongly about nurseries/cms, then how about waiting until your dc is 2 to 2 and a half and then finding a pre-school. It would only cover half a day, but at least someone other than your MIL would be involved and it might give you more confidence to deal with her.

thank you all for your advice!!!sorry my internet broke down for 3 days and could not get on mn....elkat, thanks for letting me know that i am not the only one who is in that situation....update: since last week, i phoned mil and said to her in a nice way: i am sorry mil but i really do not like it....she said i know, i know, it was not meant to be so short....thought: she knows so don't bother going further....monday, i put him there again and guess what she shaved him even more for finition...was mad!!!
decided to phone her after one day to allow me to calm down: i said in between normal discussion: please do not cut his hair again...will take him to hairdresser!! she said ok!!! i cannot belive she said nothing else... but i feel that she plays my game when she says ok and does not listen!!
hope she does though otherwise i will have to start shouting...
meanwhile, have phoned nurseries and no space until april at least! even august maybe!!
thought should put ds half days to start with then one day then little by little go up to3.... but am worried that ds fights too much...he is sooo sweet and very tiny but does not undertands the concept of shring(who does though??) and always ends up fighting, pulling hair or biting other kids when we go at play groups...makes me worried that he will not be well behaved and other bigger kids will hit back which is natural,,.. i know, i am overprotective and i do want him to learn , but feel sorry for him as he never gets the toys....
he loves playing and dansing, singing with other kids though, he is very sociable...
it isjust this fighting bit that worries ne...am i the only one??

sorry meant "sharing" concept above!!