Looking for tips on how to deal with this. I have been with my partner for 20 years so I literally know him inside out. He's always been the same and I accepted him for who he was because I loved him.
But as time is passing and I see other people's relationships around me, I feel sad.
I will start with saying I love him to bits. And I know he loves me. He's a good husband and good dad. Provides for us. Loves us. He doesn't drink or smoke. Treats us very well. We are affectionate with each other.
But he hides his emotions alot. He is very neutral all the time. Doesn't like being silly or loud. Feels uncomfortable around people who are. He rarely cracks a smile or laughs. For example we could be watching something funny on the TV. We are all belly laughing and his face is still neutral. I will ask him doesn't he think it's funny. He will say yes but doesn't feel the need to laugh.
He absolutely hates a fuss being made of him. He hates birthdays. It was his birthday a few days ago. He left for work early, came home late and went to bad after an hour. But he makes a huge fuss of us on our birthdays.
Wanted to get married but not in front of other people so we got married just the two of us. So I missed out on having a wedding. We never have parties or family gatherings at our house because he hates tbem.he will make many excuses not to go to other people's parties, most of the time he doesn't go and I have to attend his family events on my own. Sometimes he will go but will leave at the earliest opportunity.
He has told me that when he dies, he doesn't want a funeral. He wants something called direct cremation so that no one can attend.
When me and the kids are being silly dancing or playing games, he will not join in. Things like this make me really, really sad.
I ask him if he's depressed. He says he doesn't believe in depression. And that he's fine. His dad is exactly the same. They are carbon copies of each other. He is a very quiet man, doesn't speak much. Very nice though.
I don't want to leave him, I love him and he's wonderful in many ways but I feel so sad that he doesn't seem to find joy in life. He just says that nothing really has an effect on his emotions! He literally feels nothing.
Any ideas what this could be? As I said, it's not a new thing, he has always been like this to a degree. Apart from when he was at school when he was a normal teenagers who socialised and had friends. It's just since he's been an adult. It is not shyness, he is not a shy person. He has a senior management job where he speaks to many different people every day that he does no problem, but I know that's an act he puts on.
He's also told me that although he appears neutral on the outside, his mind is racing on the inside. He also doesn't sleep well