Divorce Settlement - thoughts?

[lilypooh]

I had my decree absolute in jul 19 but in Aug 19 received papers in the post for a divorce settlement.

Nutshell info
Married 2 yrs 9 months
Have 1 child together now 8 (I have two sons from previous)
I owned family home years before he moved in.
He paid nothing into home. (Ie no lump sum to equal the status -just 650 to help pay bills and kept the rest of his wage approx 1500)
I have equity of around 100k
He has a pension around 400k

He wants a settlement of 45k from me. I can’t afford. On UC and low income etc. Also, he didn’t put in so why try to take out is my philosophy. And he has much higher assets.

Final court hearing in 6 weeks. Eeek. I have no solicitor as can’t afford. Any help or ideas appreciated.

There are websites that can give you an idea of the true value of a final salary pension. Perhaps download thr results as evidence for court if you exH continues to procrastinate about disclosure. Also there are some very good pension bods on Wikivorce that can advise.

@Bunnies53

The problem at my FDR was that he hadn’t disclosed his pension at that point. So it looked like I had a lot in the way of assets and he didn’t. So the judge hinted that I should pay 20k. I did have a solicitor at that point and I asked for the hearing to be adjourned for this reason but my solicitor said we should go ahead - how wrong was I to trust him. He didn’t once take the time to mention the fact it was missing and the case was biased etc etc hence I sacked him. I just don’t have anymore money or confidence for that matter to employ another. Although he brought the case to me, it took him nearly a year to provide his pension value - three guesses why! So this next hearing will be the first time that his assets are on show. That said, he still hasn’t provided everything to the pension expert so if that report isn’t done, I will def adjourn this time - everything needs to be on the table!

I'm not surprised you have little confidence in hiring another solicitor. In my experience in talking to literally dozens who deal with divorce, only a single one told me the most about finances and implications. 90% of the time was my own research online and talking to all the other solicitors. It occurred to me that as well as trying to put in place a change for no fault divorces where applicable, the consent order situation also needs an overhaul and modernised to be fair to both parties and I think the reasons for the divorce should be counted.

I really hope you get all the facts and figures this time.

Thank you for the ideas on questions that’s a great help. It has got my brain ticking for other questions.
Exactly, I personally don’t think it should have made it to court. All the money he has spent which must be thousands could have gone toward his deposit for his house he so desperately wants. - I will be saying that in court too.
I was more than happy for him to keep his pension and me my house. It seemed fair.
He took me to court for contact with our daughter too - he didn’t even ask prior to taking me to court but he wanted two days a month extra! It should have been thrown out. I haven’t ever stopped him seeing her. It’s an abuse of the system and just shouldnt be allowed. I think the judge was dumbfounded to be honest. She asked if it was ok, I said yes, job done! Cost him thousands for that too!

Thanks to everyone again - your help and confidence boosting is really appreciated x

Unfortunately the court system does allow egotistical morons to punish you by dragging you through court for spurious claims. Mine had no case at all to vary the financial settlement from five years before which meant going through the whole process again including three final hearings. It went on for two years. I don't think he could bare to back down and wanted a judge to take the blame for the decision that was finally made against him.

It was all bluff and bluster lining the pockets of lawyers at the end of the day. The system is an overcomplicated mess, open to abuse.

Couple of things to remember. Ask for costs to be awarded against your ex in your position statement. I got some of my legal fees back , not enough, but it was something. If you don’t ask the judge won't automatically award.

Also have a good old dig around on the armed forces pension websites including the government one. Just had a quick peruse and it seems that there are several schemes and some pay out a lump sum on discharge for resettlement.

The judge at my final hearing knew nothing about final salary schemes, I had to give him the information to get my settlement sorted. You really need to know your stuff to stop the other side muddying the water.

All my fingers are crossed for you. Come back and let us know how it went.

Well…final hearing done!
He got 37k from me and I have been given 56 days to pay! (Told me to sell the house)
I got some pension but not a lot. One of them which has a value of 15k and 5% of his army pension. I am not sure of the worth.
Absolutely gutted. I had no voice. Badgered by his Barrister. In total shock and no idea what to do!
Trust no one!

@Bunnies53

Well…final hearing done! He got 37k from me and I have been given 56 days to pay! (Told me to sell the house) I got some pension but not a lot. One of them which has a value of 15k and 5% of his army pension. I am not sure of the worth. Absolutely gutted. I had no voice. Badgered by his Barrister. In total shock and no idea what to do! Trust no one!

I'm sorry to hear this, OP. This seems unfair. How can they expect you to sell your kids' house to pay twunt that kind of money? Will you able to afford a new house with the remaining equity?

Did they deduct notional costs of sale from the equity value? How did you value the house?

I bet he was shocked you got some of his pension. So does that mean you can get a tax free lump sum of 25% of 5% of his pension (ie £20k if the pot is worth £400k...should be more by the time you're the right age) when you reach the right age then get a monthly 5% payment for life?

You can't sell your house in 56 days anyway! Even to remortgage usually takes longer than that. Why the short deadline?🤔

Honestly, I have no idea. His barrister asked if they could have interest on it if I didn’t pay on time but he refused.
I can’t really talk about the pension because I had switched off. I am in shock. When I get the actual order through will update but for now I am in a state and really don’t know what to do.