Am I being silly

[Pettyornot]

I have been with my new partner for 12months. He is lovely and we have a great relationship, for the most part.
We don't live together and don't share expenses. We both have mortgages and children ti care for. When we go out I pay half the time.
When we all go out, kids included bill is always split. Which is fine.
The last few months have been very tough on me tho. Due to covid I have been out of work, living on my savings. A huge struggle. Starting back at work on Monday which is great but I have no savings left now. I earn around 40k a yr. Partner earns 150k. Big difference. He is well ahead in his mortgage to whereas I am 11 yrs younger and not so ahead with mine.
Basically he is much better than I am financially and knows it.
My issue is. Last night I picked him up from the airport. He is fifo. I paid for petrol, drove 4 hours total, parking and road tolls. I do this every month.
This morning he borrowed my car for a few hours. When I got it back I expected to see a full tank as a thank you and also because he knows how much I'm struggling with money atm.
Car was still near empty.
I'm feeling pretty sad and tbh pissed off right now. Am I being petty tho? I feel a bitch but also want to say something to him. Should I?

You have allowed a man to take advantage of you to the extent you're losing income to make his life easier (when he is financially able to do the same thing - his work would pay for a taxi and if they didn't, he could afford to cover the travel costs to the airport himself) thereby losing money you could be spending on or saving for your own children.

You've prioritised his convenience over your family's financial stability.

I don't think you should be dating anyone again until you untangle all this in some counselling.

OP, you are taking money that should be spent on you and your kids and giving it away to a man who earns a very high salary. And he "gets frustrated" if you try to say no to him. He's an unpleasant, selfish man who doesn't care about you or your kids

Sit him down and explain how much this is all costing you,how difficult that is for you given your covid situation and tell him you need him to pay his way at least. His reaction will tell you everything.

There are red flags I’m seeing here. He earns significantly more than you so I don’t see it as unreasonable that he should pay a bit more for dates etc. especially after dating for over a year. The fact that he happily lets you pick him up at the airport indicates to me that he is using these lifts as a way of saving himself money (a significant amount, I imagine, as airport parking certainly isn’t cheap). Yet he doesn’t even offer to cover the cost of the petrol which he absolutely should be doing - especially as it’s a regular favour that you carry out for him. Leaving the tank empty signifies to me that he is stingy with his money.

Raise this with him and see how he reacts.. but I would bet my money on him trying to wriggle out of paying out what he owes.

@Pettyornot

Thanks everyone. Iv woken up this morning pretty upset about the whole thing. He can get very sulky and angry in his words "frustrated" if I say no to him. I just hate causing drama but I'm going to have to say something this time or not do it again. I actually feel really hurt. He knows my situation just doesn't seem to care.

What are you afraid will happen if he is annoyed?

OP, you literally taking food out of your children's mouths to serve and subsidise that entitled prick of a man! It's not even a matter of him not realising your difficulties; he knows but just doesn't care. As for him getting "frustrated" when services are not provided on demand... well, that said it all about him, he's an controlling and abusive turd. Please wake up and dump him!

Raise your self esteem and find someone better. A lot better. You sound kind and generous and deserve better.

Not read full thread but as another poster said, you are scared to rock the boat with him. It’s not an equal relationship. He’s also very entitled as he has previous for cheating too. Come on.

You've only been together 12 months. You're bending over backwards for him and he's not doing the same for you.
This is an unequal relationship in every way.