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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

DP made a show of us last night, cant stop thinking about it

54 replies

mrsCrimbo · 07/12/2007 19:40

My mum had a party for my niece and nephew last night at her house. Just a little family get together kind of think as the kids are 9 (twins). Anyway there was alcohol there. Everyone im my family knows what DP is like for taking the piss and joking around so I don't dread these things as much as I used to because he goes largely ignored these days. Last night however he went too far, got my nieces barbie and ken doll and positioned them in a sexual way and left them on the table for everyone to see.

My mum came in, just tutted (knew instantly who'd done it) and said he was disgusting but my sister went mad and said "do you mind not doing that to my daughters toys? they're little kids toys for gods sake".

The atmosphere after that was quite tense and we left early. I'm so embarrassed and cant stop thinking about it.

Normally my sister would phone me in a morning but she hasn't today.

Are we over-reacting or was it a really shitty thing for him to do? I dont know what to say.

OP posts:

Desiderata · 07/12/2007 19:43

coldtits · 07/12/2007 19:44

they are over reacting a bit. He was being a prat. Don't let it spoil your week!

KittyLetteItSnow · 07/12/2007 19:44

PMSL, jeezes

its not like he was making her kittens hump each other or anything.

They are overreacting IMO.

Original poster

mrsCrimbo · 07/12/2007 19:45

To be fair my mum didn't seem bothered, her disaproval was in a very "oh very funny" kind of tone but my sister was visibly annoyed.

OP posts:

soapbox · 07/12/2007 19:47

Were the children there at the time or were they in bed?

If they weren't there then I think your family need to take a big chill pill and find a sense of humour! In fairness though, it depends on whether he was behaving like a fool the whole time you were there - I can imagine that woudl eb a bit wearing after a while!

We used to always show off our DD's bouncing tigger at parties! If you lay it on the floor it changes from tigger to shagger

lemonstarchristmastree · 07/12/2007 19:49

its a bit pathetic really to do that to kids toys; not major but irritating. I would hope my partner could behave better ( my ex did not)

you may not know what is behind your sisters disapproval ?

Original poster

mrsCrimbo · 07/12/2007 19:49

no the kids were there. I think what set her off is that her son has suspected autistic traits and often pretends he is a dog (crawls around barking etc) and when he does this he sometimes pretends to "hump" people legs, the sofa or my mums dog, maybe she thought DP was encouraging his behaviour?

OP posts:

Maidamess · 07/12/2007 19:51

Sorry,it did make me laugh (my dh does the banana and 2 satsumas still life sometimes, ha ha) but I can see how if he is always acting the goat it can wear a bit thin.

soapbox · 07/12/2007 19:51

Hmm - I think if the children were there then it is easier to see why she was a bit po-faced.

Especially given her DS's possible reaction.

scattysanta · 07/12/2007 19:53

I wouldn't have been too happy either if the kids had been there.

CloudAtlas · 07/12/2007 19:54

I would have found that irritating I think. More from the point of view that he would have annoyed me, it sounds like he acts the prat a lot and that would really get on my nerves, like having some really crap slap-stick wannabe comedian around. Bet your sister wouldn't have minded as much if he didn't do this sort of thing a lot. Sounds like he needs to moderate his behaviour in general. Does anyone find him funny?

MeMySonAndI · 07/12/2007 20:02

Well, there gets a point that you go one joke too far, and possibly that joke was not really worth the fuss but the string of them put together is what is causing the problem?

Considering that there were children around, and one of them can be, from what you say, influenced negatively from the joke... I would think your DP needs to be more considerate to the family's sensitivities.

Would it be a good idea to consider the possibility in ring your sister yourself to try to "patch up" whatever got broken yesterday?

onebatmother · 07/12/2007 20:14

Yup, think that you need to be the one to make the call..
It's not the end of the bloody world, by any means, but I do understand why that might freak her out. Sexuality and kids are NEVER going to be a great mix, iykwim. And she's not going to be able to look at those toys again without thinking of them f'ing each other, probably.

And what is dp going to do? He's the one wot did it. Should he be worried by the fact that he does things that he wouldn't do sober when he's had a few?

Original poster

mrsCrimbo · 07/12/2007 20:24

Actually he was sober which possibly makes it worse?

Most of the time people do find him funny but he goes on and on and by the end of the night people start snapping. He once ripped the piss out of brother for the full night and then wondered why my brother had to be "directed" into the kitchen away from him.

OP posts:

ElasticAnimal · 07/12/2007 20:25

was your sister out perhaps?

or maybe it was pmt

ElasticAnimal · 07/12/2007 20:25

i m ean of course out this morning so not able to ring you.
i would ring her and thank her

onebatmother · 07/12/2007 20:34

Sounds to me like he might have genuine problems 'reading' other people's social signals? poor thing - and poor you having to deal with fallout.

grumpyfrumpy · 08/12/2007 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuintessentialShadowOfYuleTide · 08/12/2007 13:50

Your sister is being precious. What does she think her dd actually let Barbie and Ken do together when she plays? Of course they snog and have sex, kids play out those kind of scenes with their barbies all the day. But your dh? LOL. Buy him his own barbie and ken for christmas, it was actually quite funny.

QuintessentialShadowOfYuleTide · 08/12/2007 13:51

But I do agree with Grumpyfrumpy, as your sister took offence, and most grown men would not dream of letting their own sexual thoughts out on childrens toys, you will have to call and apologise.

BBBee · 08/12/2007 13:54

he was a bit irritating
she overeacted

leave them to it - not your thing to worry about - you did neither of the above

Pages · 08/12/2007 23:21

Agree with BBBee.

sallystrawberry · 08/12/2007 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lazawreath · 08/12/2007 23:41

that's funny. just forget about it.

professorplum · 08/12/2007 23:54

He sounds really annoying to me. Maybe it was the final straw if he is doing this sort of thing all the time. You say that he is largely ignored these days. This might be because he is really irritating and they are sick of him spoiling their parties.

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