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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DP made a show of us last night, cant stop thinking about it

54 replies

mrsCrimbo · 07/12/2007 19:40

My mum had a party for my niece and nephew last night at her house. Just a little family get together kind of think as the kids are 9 (twins). Anyway there was alcohol there. Everyone im my family knows what DP is like for taking the piss and joking around so I don't dread these things as much as I used to because he goes largely ignored these days. Last night however he went too far, got my nieces barbie and ken doll and positioned them in a sexual way and left them on the table for everyone to see.

My mum came in, just tutted (knew instantly who'd done it) and said he was disgusting but my sister went mad and said "do you mind not doing that to my daughters toys? they're little kids toys for gods sake".

The atmosphere after that was quite tense and we left early. I'm so embarrassed and cant stop thinking about it.

Normally my sister would phone me in a morning but she hasn't today.

Are we over-reacting or was it a really shitty thing for him to do? I dont know what to say.

OP posts:
duke748 · 09/12/2007 00:58

I find it VERY out of order - sexulising children's toys in front of them?????? That is right there at the top of the list of things that would not be tolerated.

And I'm pretty liberal! ;)

And don't you call and repair the damage - make him do it. Its his behaviour that has offended - so he should face the consequences.

The thing about his ongoing behaviour that gets me is that he doesn't modify his behaviour to suit the cicrumstances. I can tell my dodgy jokes and all the rest, but if everyone else wasn't feeling it, I wouldn't keep going. Is he not aware of how others feel about his 'jokes'? Or does he know and not care? Neither are very good to be honest!!!!

Maybe this will give you a chance to talk to him aboutt his and get it sorted once and for all????

Good luck!

YuleLoveHekateAtSolstice · 09/12/2007 09:38

I don't find it funny at all. I think it is totally inappropriate.

Mucking about like that after alcohol and when no children will see it is one thing - after a few drinks I bet it's a laugh it's certainly something I'd find funny after a skinful!!

but
creating a sexual image that children will view - wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. To those people who say it's a laugh - what if instead of placing a pair of dolls in a sexual pose, he drew a picture of 2 figures in a sexual position and placed it in front of the kids? Would that be a laugh? What about if he took a photo of 2 people in a simulated sexual position and put it in front of the kids.. would that be a laugh? The fact that it was a pair of dolls is irrelevant...displaying a sexual image to a child is wildly inappropriate.

I think he is very childish and needs to learn about TIME AND PLACE

I would hit the roof if someone did that where my children were going to see it, so I'm not surprised your sister is pissed off.

FrannyandZooey · 09/12/2007 09:43

I think some people would have found it funny - your family are obviously not the sort of people who would - so he was out of order to play a joke like that in your mum's house with your sister's children around. People who joke around like this should be able to tell when the joke is appropriate, I think, or refrain.

mumzyof2 · 09/12/2007 23:35

I agree with your sister. I would have gone mad. Its not nice to do things like that to childrens toys, whether the kids were there or not.

dragonstitcher · 10/12/2007 13:07

Is your sister annoyed with you? If she is just annoyed with your DH, fair enough, leave them to it. I don't think it's fair to take it out on you though. Maybe you should make the first move, contact her and apologise for DH behaviour and tell her that you were annoyed and embarrassed by him.

This is the kind of thing my DH would do and my girls (ages 15, 12 and 7) are quite immune to it now.

sprogger · 10/12/2007 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LieselVentouse · 10/12/2007 22:18

your sister needs to take a chill pill

VVVExcitedAboutChristmasQV · 10/12/2007 22:23

Is it relevant that Barbie and Ken dont have any genitalia and cant actually perform sexual acts?

VVVExcitedAboutChristmasQV · 10/12/2007 22:24

What position was it, btw?

LieselVentouse · 10/12/2007 22:26

u married yet?

VVVExcitedAboutChristmasQV · 10/12/2007 22:27

Yeah.

I know all about what Barbie and Ken get up to now

Blu · 10/12/2007 22:36

oh, yawn, yawn, yawn - how many millions of 14 year old boys have done this? it isn't even original.

He was being an immature pain, innapropriate with the kids still around, and I am not surprised your sister was irritated with him.

WinkyWinkola · 10/12/2007 22:39

It's a bit of a prattish thing to do. I'd be embarrassed too but only because it's just not really that funny, is it? Not because it would corrupt the children.

If my DH does anything like that, I make sure he feels like a bit of a knobhead for being such a public school boy, laughing at things like tits and bottoms.

Your sister is overreacting. If / when she 'phones, just say, "Oh yeah, sorry DP was a bit of a tit the other night."

LieselVentouse · 10/12/2007 22:39

so where are the pics?

LieselVentouse · 10/12/2007 22:39

... of your wedding, not Barbie & Ken

VVVExcitedAboutChristmasQV · 10/12/2007 22:42

On my usual profile.

LieselVentouse · 10/12/2007 22:43

where????????????? How do I do that?

Heated · 10/12/2007 22:46

He's a prat, tell him he deserves your sister's wroth but you're not getting involved. He can be a big boy (or not) and apologise.

He's a prat, tell sister he deserves her wroth but you're not getting involved. He can be a big boy (or not) and apologise.

Then change subject.

VVVExcitedAboutChristmasQV · 10/12/2007 22:46

here

LieselVentouse · 10/12/2007 22:50

thats fricken funny

SleepInHeavenlyPlease · 10/12/2007 22:51

PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is a standing joke with all close to us that my DH sees the line you shouldn't cross as he runs past it.

Not sure if he would do that in full view of kids tho.

Your sister is over reacting - the kids probably wouldnt even register if it weren't for her reaction? I agree with others, just down play it whn you speak next, say "Sorry DH was a prat, he can be so embarrasing sometimes. Have you finished all your Christmas shoppin?

VVVExcitedAboutChristmasQV · 10/12/2007 23:02

Liesel - if you find a post with my usual nickname, you'll be able to see my profile. I've only changed in the last few days.

LieselVentouse · 11/12/2007 12:02

i cant rememer what your name was

Curmudgeonlett · 11/12/2007 12:10

I don't think that's funny at all .. am shocked at people finding it amusing

you should be callng your sister and apologising for your pratt of a husband

NineWurlysDancing · 11/12/2007 12:12

If I was your sister I would have said "is that the only position you can think of??"

Phone your sister and apologise if you feel you need to, but personally i wouldnt worry too much.