Husband went to a stripclub and I cant stop feeling like it was cheating!

[MamaFGC]

So my husband went on a stag do on Saturday, they all went into a strip club which I knew was happening but he said he wouldn't be getting a private dance. However on Sunday he admitted he did infact pay for a private dance.
Im currently 8 months pregnant, suffering from HG and being very poorly with this pregnancy. I feel very insecure. Not in how I look or our relationship but just with anxiety that I am failing and draining the life out of us all.
Now I dont know if this is contributing to it or not but I feel like paying for a woman to slap her vagina in his face is cheating. I never expected it to feel like this, my ex went to a strip club before and it didnt effect me at all.

Am I wrong for viewing it like this? How do I get over it and move passed it? My husband is very apologetic and didnt think I would view it like this.

Yup. Another who finds him disgusting.

I'll only say if you had agreed to him going to a strip club then I can see how in his head this might be a grey area rather than a red flag....

But then no...because you'd told him how you felt about a private dance

So he's not only a cheat but a manipulator who instead of being grateful takes and takes and thinks only of himself and whose word means nothing.

I hope you can work things out but it would take a lot, for me.

And I'm not pregnant so its not your hormones. Unpregnant women also think he's gross.

Deal breaker for me too. If DH went into a strip club that would be it.

I would feel the same op.

Total deal-breaker for me. It is cheating and exploiting. Just vile. I couldn't be with a man who thought that was ok.

I’d be livid. Even more so if I was heavily pregnant. It’s bad enough he did it while you’re pregnant but even worse to do it after saying he wouldn’t

Ew

So so gross

If Sandra next door took him in a private and used her body to sexually arouse your husband with his approval what would you call that ? Just a bit of a laugh ?

I would divorce my H for this, pregnancy or not

Private *room

Your feelings are valid. My husband went on his brothers stag and they got a dance. This was before we were married. What's worse is he clearly knew it was wrong and I wouldn't be happy as he didn't tell me (although I don't know if I'd made my feelings on it clear beforehand). I found out because months later we were watching a particular episode of Peep Show which features a strip club and talking about it and he let slip.
That was the closest we've been to separating. I was very upset. I did forgive - haven't forgot though. I don't think we'd survive if he did it again but I don't think he will.

It's how it feels to you that matters, and what you had agreed and discussed previously. I wouldn't mind (swinger here!) but it not about any of us or what we think really.

Being pregnant and having children does change how you view things like this. If he wasn't up to speed on this and if in the past it would have been okay then I think he needs to know going forward do what your boundaries are. If however it was clear he wasn't to have a private dance and he had one anyway then yes that's cheating and should be dealt with as such.

Yuck, forget about cheating...why not focus on the reality of patrons of strip-clubs who fund the sex trade, trafficking, drugs and other organised crimes. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who has zero ethics.

You are at the most vulnerable you will ever be (other than actually in labour of in some horrific accident). Despite feminism, you really, REALLY need this man to support you in every way now and for the next few months. You need to explain this to him, he may not realise that things are temporarily different. Most men do realise and become hyper-protective, but some don't. Just spell it out to him.

Your feeling are your feelings.

I don't believe he wouldn't think you would view it how you do.

Ask him how ok he'd be with a nearly naked man grinding on you in a private dance.