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Original poster

Too much

32 replies

witchinghour21 · 01/10/2021 12:36

Been with new boyfriend 3 months I really like him but he wants to spend every minute of every second of free time with me. When I ask him for a weekend off so I can do things with my children or friends separately it causes an atmosphere. He seems to think if I really liked him I would want to be with him all the time. Then I question myself do I really like him then is it me I just don't know anymore.

OP posts:
Rainbowqueeen · 01/10/2021 12:39

You want a normal healthy relationship. He doesn’t. Lots of red flags with his behaviour. I’d ditch him

girlmom21 · 01/10/2021 12:42

3 months in and he won't let you spend time with your own children? Nope.

Bananalanacake · 01/10/2021 12:43

That's very controlling and suffocating. When I'm in a new relationship I make it clear I want to meet them twice a week, if they don't like it they can look elsewhere.

DismantledKing · 01/10/2021 12:44

God, no. Run.

Original poster
witchinghour21 · 01/10/2021 12:45

Thank you all it's so difficult because aside from this he treats me like a queen but I am feeling suffocated

OP posts:
DismantledKing · 01/10/2021 12:46

@witchinghour21

Thank you all it's so difficult because aside from this he treats me like a queen but I am feeling suffocated
Love-bombing.
Fallagain · 01/10/2021 12:47

@witchinghour21

Thank you all it's so difficult because aside from this he treats me like a queen but I am feeling suffocated
Love bombing. It’s classic behaviour at the start of an abusive relationship.
Aquamarine1029 · 01/10/2021 12:49

Run like hell from this controlling, coercive, gaslighting, love bombing arsehole. There are red flags from pillar to post, and it will 100% get worse.

Please, you know this is all wrong, get rid of him. Do so before your children are affected by this man.

Original poster
witchinghour21 · 01/10/2021 12:51

He says things like he will have nothing to do and be alone if he is not with me makes me feel terrible

OP posts:
layladomino · 01/10/2021 12:51

Yeah these are bad signs. Treats you like a queen / wants to be with yu all the time / sulks when he doesn't get his way / doesn't respect your boundaries.

All signs of worse to come.

DismantledKing · 01/10/2021 12:52

@witchinghour21

He says things like he will have nothing to do and be alone if he is not with me makes me feel terrible
More red flags than the storming of the Winter Palace.
MiddlesexGirl · 01/10/2021 12:55

Echoing all the above. At best you don't want another child who needs entertaining all the time. At worst you don't want an abusive coercive sulking control merchant.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/10/2021 12:55

@witchinghour21

He says things like he will have nothing to do and be alone if he is not with me makes me feel terrible
I'm mean this gently, op, but you have got to grow a backbone and create boundaries and standards for acceptable behaviour. You are not responsible for this twat, and that you would have to ask him for time to yourself is insane. Get rid of him.
myrtlehuckingfuge · 01/10/2021 12:56

Another vote for love bombing here. 'I don't see now that we have met that we should spend any nights apart' was a line thrown to me, no regard for what I or my housemate, who wanted their own space, had to say on the matter. Well done for seeing this now. You know this won't get better.

Bananalanacake · 01/10/2021 13:41

So what did he do before he met you?
Whatever you do, don't let him move in, ever.

Shoxfordian · 01/10/2021 13:55

Dump the Klingon

JustThisLastLittleBit · 01/10/2021 14:23

He sounds like an utter loser.

I'm curious though, in what way does he 'treat you like a queen'? Why do you want to be treated like a queen and not like a normal, self-directing, free woman?

Pinkbonbon · 01/10/2021 14:31

Warning signs of an abuser op.

What you have mentioned is part of love bombing.
There should never be an atmosphere in a 3 month relationship.

Tbh he probably shouldn't even have met your children yet.

Run for the hills
Run fast, run far.

And learn how to spot abusers. And how to listen to your gut in future.

Pinkbonbon · 01/10/2021 14:32

@witchinghour21

Thank you all it's so difficult because aside from this he treats me like a queen but I am feeling suffocated
I mean even this is batshit.

He us essentially telling someone he met 3 months ago that he has no life without her. Fucking mental. It's not a compliment. He is nuts.

Pinkbonbon · 01/10/2021 14:33

@witchinghour21

He says things like he will have nothing to do and be alone if he is not with me makes me feel terrible
Sorry I meant to quote this part.
ScumbagDave · 01/10/2021 14:36

Yuck! That would be a hard no from me. Surely he cannot seriously expect you to give up time with your own children for someone who was a total stranger to you a few months ago.

Run!

BeepingBB · 01/10/2021 14:37

I'd get rid of him now.

Original poster
witchinghour21 · 01/10/2021 14:49

Sorry when I say treat me like a queen I mean always paying for things and getting me gifts not that I ask for that Or actually care about these things. It's not he doesn't want me to see my friends and children but he wants to be there as well and I just need some space but should j want to involve him in those things at 3 months.

OP posts:
P1ainJanine · 01/10/2021 14:51

Love bombing.
Emotional blackmail - trying to make you feel guilty for not doing his bidding,
Control - trying to coerce you.
If he will have nothing to do if he isn't with you at the weekend, he either has no hobbies or interests, or no other friends. Or he's a liar.
Four red flags there, and it's only been three months. Run, and do not look back.

Pinkbonbon · 01/10/2021 15:00

@witchinghour21

Sorry when I say treat me like a queen I mean always paying for things and getting me gifts not that I ask for that Or actually care about these things. It's not he doesn't want me to see my friends and children but he wants to be there as well and I just need some space but should j want to involve him in those things at 3 months.
The gifts are a prominent part of love bombing. They will be used to guilt trip you later. 'After all I've done for you' bla bla. The aim us to make you feel guilty for saying 'no' to behaviour that is not OK or that you are uncomfortable with.

Seriously op these are all pretty big red flags. He really shouldn't be expecting to go anywhere with you and your kids, he barely knows you.

These are clear signs op. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's more than likely a duck.