So I'm 29, and am friends with a group of girls I met at secondary school , age. 29. Last year one of my friends , "left the group" as she felt it was toxic. She said she felt that both of us were just there to make the others feel better about their own lives , and I'm beginning to agree.
The queen bee married her childhood sweetheart at 22. At the time , because k wasn't in a long term relationship , I had a few more sexual partners than her. She'd regularly make comments to imply I was a slag, e.g. "I'm sorry, but your not discarded vagina is just not as sacred as ours."
However the marriage broke down when she was 26, ( she works at a university , she cheated on him with one of her 19 year old undergraduate students). Immediately after the marriage broke down, she signed up to dating sites and was having multiple sexual encounters, ( including threesomes), with men she met off the internet. She never apologised for repeatedly calling/ implying I was a slut previously, and instead went on to judging and making harsh comments about people she felt hadn't had enough sexual partners , ( she's now changed from judging people she feels have too much sex, to judging people who have to little sex).
Despite this , I was supportive of her during the time of her marriage breakdown. She'd ring multiple times a day, and I was supportive. Yet we went out for a meal with another girl in the group a few weeks later, and she rveeted back to openly mocking me for sleeping with more people than she had in front of the other girl, ( at this point, she had actually slept with many more people than I had, but didn't want the other girl to know this). I didn't say anything to reveal she had been having threesomes / sleeping with more men, as I didn't want to embarrass her.
She regularly gives the , ( unasked for) opinion that Lucy* , ( another girl in the group), "doesn't know how to be single" and berates her for getting together with her new boyfriend too quickly after s relationship break up. Despite this , she was signed up to online dating sites within days of her own marriage breaking down....
She regularly mocks me and Lucy for making "bad choices in relationships" but skirts over the fact her first husband had a lot of issues, ( he'd regularly shout racist abuse out the car windows at other drivers, would regularly shout "j , get the f out if my chair, I want to sit next to my f* wife" at group meals), and that she then dated on her undergraduate students.
She regularly makes comments about Lucy's tattoos being badly drawn and tacky, despite the fact she herself has tattoos.
The queen bee told her new boyfriend I had previously been raped, and he casually brought this up in conversation the first time we went out for lunch together, which left me feeling awkward. He regularly gives pseudo diagnosis's to members of the group , ( one evening he repeatedly told me I must be autistic cos I didn't look people directly in the eye, and refused to listen despite the fact I wa getting tearful and trying to explain I have a diagnosed visual impairment that makes that difficult). He also tells anyone that will listen that Lucy* had classic abandonment issues due to the fact her parents immigrated abroad when Lucy was 19.
We also have a mutual aquantance who has a mild learning disability, ( still functioning enough to work, drive , live independently etc). She has recently announced an engagement to a lovely man, ( I have met him), and instead of saying congratulations, all they can do is laugh and mock cos she had a broken engagement to someone else four years previously.
Am I right to just slowly stop bothering with the group ?