Ex trying for access. Help

[Smallmum55]

Hi everyone,
So I had recently posted about my ex and got a lot of good advice. So I'm back and asking for more!
Bit of back story, My ex attacked me at the start of 2020 and was arrested. A few weeks after this I found out I was pregnant. We never got back together (obviously) but he knew I was pregnant and he would swing between wanting to be involved with the baby and sending me horrible messages saying he hopes the baby dies and he wants nothing to do with it.
During this 9 month period he also stalked me, damaged my car, constantly harassed me and attempted suicide on my door step as I didn't want to get back with him. He was arrested numerous times for all of this and it went to court this year (He was found guilty of domestic abuse and got community service and I got a 3 year non harrasment order against him)
Anyway, about two weeks before baby was born, ex met someone and dissapeared off the face of the earth. No contact at all, he's never asked about baby, never even met the baby and he's not on the birth certificate.
Baby is a year old now and like I said, the ex has never been in contact.
BUT Last week him and his partner moved into a house just up the road from mine.
Now ex has no reason to move to the village I live in, no family here, doesn't work near here, didn't even know the place existed until he met me....and you'd think this would be the last place he'd want to live after all that happened!
I can't understand why he would move here and I'm really worried that despite him never having contact with baby, he's moved here as he's planning on trying for access at some point.
What do you guys think? Should I be worried?

Hang on…if the order says he can’t come near you (I’m guessing it specifies a distance) and he walked past you in the street then he’s breached the order? If he’s moved to the same village as you then what is he doing to ensure he doesn’t breach the order. He’s not going to be doing anything, but his actions should demonstrate a wilful disregard of the order. Please contact the police and anyone else you may have had contact with during the trial

Have you spoken with the police yet OP? I really think that's an important first step.

OP, in March you posted that you were wondering why he hadn’t been in touch and you hadn’t heard from him for months, in May you posted that you’d realised the baby was in fact someone else’s, and in August you posted that despite the fact you’d encountered each other regularly in the local area he had only recently moved away and you had no idea where to?

And now you’re posting that he’d disappeared out of your lives 2 weeks before the baby was born and you’ve only just discovered that he’s moved back to the area?

@HeartsAndClubs yup it's a very complicated situation that has been an absolute nightmare for well over a year now.
I've never been in a situation like this before and never expected to be in a situation like this. I had no idea what to do, who to go to for help, what was happening on his side....what was going on in general. So if I have a question or something is worrying me then i ask on here as you tend to get great advice and support and it helps me work through the confusion of this whole thing
Yes his house was for sale and we all (the courts, WA, assist) were certain he would move far away...I don't think anyone expected him to move up the road from me and I only recently found that out the other day. Yes he disapeared before baby was born. He's driven past us/walked past us but we've not had encounters. When I say he disapeared, I knew where he was but he had no contact at all where as previously he had been sending upwards of 30 text messages a day (most of which were abusive)
I am very aware that it's a very Jeremy Kyle situation but I found this a safe space to discuss my thoughts and worries and concerns as I've been going through it.

Please tell the police, given you have a restraining order. I would also ensure his work knew about the conviction, which I know is nasty, but omg, he deserves it.

On your last post you said you were pretty much 100% certain that your abusive ex is t the father - so why are you panicking over access? A DNA test will prove the paternity if he tries to push for access - problem sorted.

The question of why he has moved near you remains a concern though. But if he’s walked past you on other occasions then he’s already breached the terms of the order - why didn’t you report this?

Wait, so he lived locally already and has just moved closer to you?
This may be totally coincidental.