Advice needed please!

[Oooopsididitagain12]

So started seeing someone I knew from years ago last month. Lots of sparks due to the excitement of us being together after so long. However lots of flags have come up…
His first long term relationship he was almost a carer for her - she has lots of health issues, no confidence and sex was an issue. However since they split up she met someone else and had “normal” relationship and her confidence flourished.
His relationships since have been “ unusual “ too. One a lady 23 years his senior & another 10 years older who he was with for 13 years but she never wanted to live with him.
He’s intelligent, until recently had a good job, but lives in a small dated flat. Not particularly generous despite saying recently money is no issue due him. He claims to have been in love / have feelings for me for years and years. Sex is already mundane and never makes any effort after he’s “finished”
He doesn’t remember important appointments in my life, doesn’t compliment me and even had to be told to wear antiperspirant 🤦‍♀️
Wtf am I doing with him?!!?

All that in a month? Mundane sex and questionable hygiene?? Why would you want to sleep with him?

Put him in the bin. You are worth so much more.

Dump

Wtf am I doing with him?!!

I don't know, what are you doing with him?

I’m actually very creeped out by the woman who was 22 years older and even more so that his apparently “helpless” ex wife, changed so much after they split up 🤔

@Unanananana thank you 😊

@category12 after putting it all down, ive no idea!

Mundane sex after a month? Really? Good grief ! Bin him

@Anordinarymum yes I know 🤦‍♀️ But tbh it’s the other issues that are currently bothering me more..

It all sounds unhealthy and not very wholesome but the sex... you say he was with an older woman and the sex is still crap !

He's lazy and selfish and you will end up being like his mother

Yes - well the actual sex is ok but more the fact he’s had enough once he’s “finished” 🤦‍♀️
His past does raise many questions…

Bump

Sorry OP but it sounds a bit miserable, especially with how the ex was during the relationship and everything has turned around for her after they broke up.
I don't know why but it's making me think of the "norms the name, sensible's the game" guy from the old Twix adverts? (if you can remember 🙈)
I'm sure he's nothing like that of course, but there's more than enough reasons to swerve him.

@Peach01 thanks. I don’t know anything about the twix ads?!

It's very very old 😂

He had to be told to wear antiperspirant. OMIGOD.

Get rid. Honestly.

You seem quite preoccupied by him being done once he's finished, but that's not unusual, not necessarily a negative. But, that's why the woman should cum first, and hopefully repeatedly, before the man finishes. If he hasn't seen to your needs prior, that's where he's going wrong.
Having said all that, the rest sounds bad enough to end it, even if the sex was great.

@Opentooffers no not preoccupied by this at all! Just part of the bigger reason why I’m not happy with things.

Just part of the bigger reason why I’m not happy with things.

So then you end it, obviously. Why are you hesitating? Dump him and move on.

LTB

If it's already boring after just one month and you can see red flags, then it's easier ending it sooner rather than later!

It sounds like the only reason you haven't broken up already is for sentimental reasons and nostalgia.

Time to leave.

The sex is crap, why are you still there?!

I also suspect he's either fed you a bunch of absolute bullshit about his relationship history, or he's incredibly dysfunctional with his mother.

@ironorchids yes the nostalgia is maybe delaying things…

He also claims to have had feelings for me all the time he was in his previous relationships- even seeing a counsellor at one point about it!!

The sex isn’t the biggest issue really.
Re his mother, from what I can tell their relationship appears very good.

.