Separate beds

[hanketypankety]

Just that really. DH and I have been sleeping in separate beds for nearly 6 months now due to his snoring. Every night I would be disturbed and have to move into spare bedroom so disgusted it easier to just sleep in there instead. I actually enjoy the whole bed to myself and have started thinking about making the room into a 'proper' bedroom with nice furniture etc. However there's something that's niggling at me that this isn't normal??

We sleep separately; I snore, and fidget about all night, and like to go to bed earlier than my husband. We have lots of hugs and intimacy though so it’s not an issue; normal is whatever is normal for you op- if it works then do it

Who cares if it's normal, what matters is it works for you.

I personally wouldn't want to share a room and bed with a guy every night. Even if he did not snore. I like my space and I really value my sleep.

I'm also a much happier and more loving person when I'm given some space to myself from time to time.. and after a good night's sleep.

It's all good op.

I constantly wonder why it's normal for two adults to share a room. Make your own room exactly how you want and love every minute of it!

My DP and I have slept separately for years. He snores and I talk in my sleep. It's not a good combination

We've slept in separate rooms for years, both have king size beds so no compromise. Hubby snores and is like a furnace. I toss and turn and like to be cold in bed.

We have a very good relationship and this stops us waking up wanting to kill the other. We share a bed at other people's homes and do try and book hotels with two double beds but not always possible.

We go to bed together a s watch some TV together, then DH slopes off to the spare room when it's sleep time.

We are both more pleasant now that we get more sleep!

I'm a 'sleep refugee' when I de-camp into the spare room to escape my husband's snoring at gone midnight after trying for about two hours to get to sleep but just getting crosser and crosser with him/his snoring. I can hear him snoring through my 'ear plugz' ear plugs. It's not that loud, it is however incessant ! (I accept I have an almost Pavlovian response to it.)

Often I've thought of making the spare room into a nicer room. It's my plan to get a new bed for our bedroom which means the current comfy bed will go into the spare room to replace the old bed.

I then close the bedroom door and the spare room door and put my earplugs in. Calm down and eventually fall asleep once I've got over being so wound up yet again.

My husband had his ears syringed a couple of months ago which seems to have shut the snoring up. He may well have lost a little bit of weight, too.

We sleep separately at least 2 nights a week- it works for us, as we can both catch up on sleep. We both snore a bit.

I think it's reasonable.

So many couples sleep separately, op, it's not strange at all. If both of you are happy with it, there's no problem. However, your husband really needs to find out if he has sleep apnoea. If he does, it is putting tremendous strain on his heart.

We started sleeping apart when one of us had a cold; now we sleep apart every night as I snore and DH has restless legs. We both get much better sleep as a result.

We sleep in separate rooms due to his snoring. I love it !

I am so envious

Really want to but no spare room atm

When my son gives up his drums 👍

We got into sleeping separately during smal child years, and I think it was part of a negative picture, felt quite cold. For us things were improved when we started bed sharing again. We still sleep apart when one of us especially needs a guaranteed sleep. Depends on your relationship whether it’s an issue I suppose.

We have separate bedrooms because we are not sleep compatible.
Life is too short to be annoying each other crammed into a shared bedroom and bed.
We book two adjoining rooms when we go on holiday.
Still very much in love and have a good sex life.

DH and I have slept separately for years. He snores and I am a light sleeper and very restless. I love sleeping alone and then slip into bed with him first thing. Absolutely works for us. Do whatever you need to do OP

I usually decamp at about 3am, so we don’t miss out on intimacy. I’ve left the bedroom ‘spare’, tho, but most of my clothes are in there. It’s a nice room but I haven’t personalised it much.

Should add we are very happily married and have been together for nearly 30 years. Slept apart for about 6 years.

We sleep separately sometimes and together sometimes. Sometimes we start the night together and then one of us decamps. We share a bed fine on holiday, have plenty of sex and are happy together. Being unconscious every night in the same square 2m of space is not actually fundamental to happy married life. Sleep, OTOH, is the shit.

We sleep in separate rooms, I wake at all hours, it would disturb her. I can put light on, read, music, whatever. I have the gust room, wife has the best room. I go back with her when we have visitors and just lie still if I wake.
There is always the thrill of 'my place' or 'yours'?

DP is a massive snorer, so tends to sleep in the spare room at least one night a week to make sure I get a decent sleep. It’s a local holiday here tomorrow and he’s off but I am not, so tonight he’ll stay up later then sleep in the spare room.

Me and my husband have had separate beds for the entirety of our relationship, we’re mid 30s now but started our relationship early 20s.

It’s aweseom! We have our own bedrooms 😊

I honestly don’t know why some couples insist on sleeping together when it makes them miserable just because it’s “normal”

DH and I mostly sleep separate and have done since we were in our early 20s. He’s a light sleeper and I’m a pain to sleep with. We’re both much happier and it doesn’t affect relationship (except we’re probably more tolerant of each other!)

@politics4me

We sleep in separate rooms, I wake at all hours, it would disturb her. I can put light on, read, music, whatever. I have the gust room, wife has the best room. I go back with her when we have visitors and just lie still if I wake. There is always the thrill of 'my place' or 'yours'?

I think my DH needs a 'gust room' too. Sometimes the noise of his trumps has woken me from the spare room!

We are about to move house, and there will be a spare room. It is going to be mine, and I CANNOT WAIT! He moves around too much (often suddenly and very violently) which shocks me out of that dreamy state before you fall asleep, and then I'm too wound up to sleep. He also breathes too fast. I realise this is very unreasonable of me (think I have a degree of misophonia), but I have not been able to sleep since I noticed he has literally double my own resting respiratory rate! I generally share with one of the kids. I think having my own room will improve our relationship, as I need to start getting more consistent good nights of sleep.

I find it so weird that society expects two adults to sleep together when most people slept alone for at least 15 years when the were children.

I had one boyfriend that I enjoyed sleeping with. Every other one it has been terribly uncomfortable. I told my ex that if we moved in together I wanted my own room as I never slept well with him. he was very offended as he believed that sleeping apart meant that we weren’t a real couple. It’s so untrue as long as the two people involved know the reasons behind it.

Sleep is important so don’t feel like something is wrong about getting a good nights sleep regardless if it’s in the with someone or alone in bed.