Hitting child

[Jayteedee]

What would you do if your husband suddenly hit your child - my boy is 3 and my husband punched him hard on the arm last night. It was so uncalled for, my boy was just throwing a few clothes around trying to find pyjamas. I was quite distraught and am feeling it's the final straw for this marriage.

Our kids are 3 and 5. My husband is depressed (I've tried to help him and he refuses help), he's awful to live with, and earns no money. I support him in everything, since his business collapsed a year ago. I also have no positive romantic or other feelings for him.

This week we had an argument and he called me a bitch and then acted like nothing happened. I am really ready to call it a day but naturally scared of separating / divorcing and not being able to see my kids. Pls help.

After punching a 3 year old, I would ask him to leave the house and stay elsewhere. I would also report him to social services so that visitation on divorce would potentially be supervised. You say you are scared about divorce etc, I would be more worried about what he would do to you and your children if you stayed together. He punched a 3 year old...keep saying it and ask yourself if this is a man you want around your children. He is a danger.

Not as scared as your three year old was when his dad punched him. Get legal advice.

A grown man punched a three year old.

I think you know what you need to do.

Get him OUT today

LTB

He is abusive and contributes nothing.

Log it with the police.
Take kids and get out.
If he shows up, ring the police.

If he wants access, get him to take you to court and request anger management and supervised contact in a contact centre.

Calling you a bitch is awful but the more pressing issue is you watched him assault a very young child and still seem to have him in the house.

Protect your children. Everything else comes second and you need to act now because if either child tells anyone else what happened, which they might, you’ll be in far worse trouble than you are now.

He punched a three year old child.

What do you think you should do?

If you are unsure, telephone social services and ask them what they think.

Protect your children and get rid of him! If you don't imagine what he could do in future. There is nothing left for you here you all deserve so much better and I hope you find the strength you need to get away.

Is there a mark? You should have called the police and protected your child more

And yes I've been there ex hit our child and left a mark I said if be did that again I was leaving children's services framed it as this

"Unamed allowed ex to hit ds not in line with children's services policy"

I wasn't even in the room I wasn't even the one who struck him I WAS the one they blamed they supported him getting contact BTW but they also tried removing them from me because they thought I was back with him while simultaneously blaming me for his act and supported contact with him

And I know that doesn't make sense even my solicitor said it didn't they fortunately didn't get beyond the threat stage but it was scary

You have to get rid of this man. He hit your baby, and if you let him get away with it, it could happen again, only worse. Your DC are at risk OP. This wasn't just a slap. It was a hard punch.

Report him.

You need to log this with someone - police through WA to record it for future access issues.

Dread to think what what man who'd punch a 3 yr old for throwing clothes around would do to an older, perhaps more challenging child.

Aside from the above, which is disturbing, he sounds like a waste of space.

Taking his anger out on a tiny boy, your son won’t have known why he was being punched. Who punches a child? I have a 3 year old nephew and he’s a little rascal but also a wee joy I can’t imagine ever harming a hair on his head.

Op it’s your job to keep your children safe - their dad clearly can’t/won’t and the next time could be worse sadly. My dad beat me then my sister. Your H is a man with problems that he seems to want to blame everyone else for - otherwise he’d get help and why should you keep your family afloat whilst he does nothing.
Leave, Chuck him out etc but keep your kids safe. Sorry this has happened you do need to make sure he knows it won’t be tolerated now

Where is he now?

@tedsletterofthelaw

A grown man punched a three year old.

I think you know what you need to do.

This.

Is your child ok????

If DH did that, I would instruct him to leave.

I would report it to the police and ask them to make him leave. I don't see why you and your children should be the ones who have to go.

If you don't report he hit your 3 year old to SS and take steps to protect your children from him, if he does any further harm to them you are equally culpable under the law.

I watched a harrowing court case a few decades back before they changed the law and it involved both parents blaming each other plus a friend who saw their child for two hours as one or both of them killed the child by abusing them and the other covered it up. They all got off which is why the law ended up being changed.

Also if your son is in childcare he will tell someone his dad hit him. They have a legal duty to report it.

He'd be out on his arse, I'd be contacting a divorce solicitor first thing and he'd not be seeing my child until he, at the very least, got help with his mental health issues and completed parenting and anger management courses.

Even after that, contact would be entirely supervised.

SS would be notified that he's a risk to my child, as would nursery, HV etc.

Please phone woman's aid and get their support in what you need to report this. Not to scare you, but if a nursery etc pick up in this they will have a duty to report, and the fact you haven't will put you at real risk of being seen as not having protected your child.

I'm worried for you that there is likely a lot more abuse going on for you both that you now see as normal which is stopping you from seeing just how serious this is. You need some professional support.

I hope it's OK to link to my own thread that I started recently to tell my story. This could very likely be yours if you don't act. And with the age of your child adoption would be a serious possibility if things went this way.

My kids were taken away from me by SS for 5 years - AMA http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/AMA/4356138-my-kids-were-taken-away-from-me-by-ss-for-5-years-ama

It's too close to what happened with me for me to be able to post much more as it's really triggering, but I couldn't read and not try to give you a clear message that this is absolutely not OK and for you to think seriously about what needs to happen to keep both you and your child safe. I know it's hard and scary. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this

@InABetterPlaceNow I read all of your thread and just wanted to send you a virtual hug
So rare to hear anyone take actual responsibility, face the truth and take the required action
There is a poster here I would like to print this off , laminate it and pin it on her fridge

Well done to you

And for the dad who punched the child - police . Today .

The obvious answer is leave him. BUT he will almost certainly have rights to see his children. Do you want your children left unsupervised with him?! It's a very tricky situation.

[quote thesearelaughterlines]@InABetterPlaceNow I read all of your thread and just wanted to send you a virtual hug
So rare to hear anyone take actual responsibility, face the truth and take the required action
There is a poster here I would like to print this off , laminate it and pin it on her fridge

Well done to you

And for the dad who punched the child - police . Today . [/quote]
Thank you

I would call the police, report this as assault and ask him to leave.