Hitting child

[Jayteedee]

What would you do if your husband suddenly hit your child - my boy is 3 and my husband punched him hard on the arm last night. It was so uncalled for, my boy was just throwing a few clothes around trying to find pyjamas. I was quite distraught and am feeling it's the final straw for this marriage.

Our kids are 3 and 5. My husband is depressed (I've tried to help him and he refuses help), he's awful to live with, and earns no money. I support him in everything, since his business collapsed a year ago. I also have no positive romantic or other feelings for him.

This week we had an argument and he called me a bitch and then acted like nothing happened. I am really ready to call it a day but naturally scared of separating / divorcing and not being able to see my kids. Pls help.

@UnicornHo

The obvious answer is leave him. BUT he will almost certainly have rights to see his children. Do you want your children left unsupervised with him?! It's a very tricky situation.

Yup, this is why the situation is nearly straightforward and professional advice is absolutely needed. In an idea world no woman should ever have to stay in this situation to feel they can better protect their kids but it's often the sad reality (and the kids are definitely not being protected by having to do this - there's mental, emotional and potentially further physical abuse that will be happening and you just can't protect them from it, only make them think it's "normal").

It feels like there's no "safe" option either way and like you need a crystal ball to know for sure what will happen either way. It's why I almost paused posting, because I know how flawed the system can be. But there's discussion on that from other knowledgeable posters on my thread to be able to take an informed decision, and knowledge is power. This situation feels very scary - if this is happening now, I can almost sure that things will escalate.

I think www.refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/phone-the-helpline/ allows you to talk without giving information on who you are (ask a friend to let you use your phone, or call from work).

Sorry that should have been rarely straightforward!!

Report to the police 100%. Same as I would hope you would report someone assaulting you?? Only makes it worse who it was tbh. Protect your children or you may lose them.

Please leave,just find a way. Your poor child,I hope he's ok but soon none of you will be if you stay believe me. Don't feel sorry for him. If he's depressed he'll get help but you need to think of you and your children first and leave, please leave now and good luck

@UnicornHo

The obvious answer is leave him. BUT he will almost certainly have rights to see his children. Do you want your children left unsupervised with him?! It's a very tricky situation.

Not if she reports the incident he won't.

The more authorities you report him to now will give your dc a better chance of never being alone with him.

@UnicornHo

The obvious answer is leave him. BUT he will almost certainly have rights to see his children. Do you want your children left unsupervised with him?! It's a very tricky situation.

What makes you think so ? If the police are aware and he potentially faces a charge of assaulting a minor .. OP stands a very good chance of asking for nil or supervised access only ?

Lots of abusers claim to get depressed to get you to excuse the abuse. And lots of abusers are also depressed too. But its not an excuse.

I partner calling you a bitch?! I'd be fucking gone. How dare he.

But the guy literally pinched a young child.
I'd go and I'd file for full custody.