I’m right not to trust him, aren’t I?

[Hightophightop]

Sounds weird but here we go. I broke off an engagement at the end of last year because I wasn’t happy with how I was treated... including him flirting with women in front of me, shouting at me etc etc

Met a younger guy (I am 30 he’s 23) in March and I’ve just constantly had the feeling I’m being played.

I was being shown something on his phone and a text popped up from someone... didn’t catch the name but I did see the 😻 emoji next to her name. When I confronted him he said it she was just a friend and that’s what emoji he uses for friends (fucking childish argument)

He then kept sending me texts like “I don’t know what else to say” and “I am telling the truth. Where do we go from here?”

I feel sick because he asked to go exclusive in May time ish so we’ve been having unprotected sex all that time. He did show me a clean STI check but that’s only valid up until the fucking minute he got it.

There’s other stuff... absence from each other’s social media’s. his choice.

I’m livid... I’m right not to trust him aren’t I?

He’s 23 and won’t share social media.. You’re instincts are spot on!

Going by age alone I can't say you're being played. I met my DH when I was 27 and he was 20, but we were both at university and had each other on SM from day one.
Ten years later we are still happily together.

The text, well I send my friends messages with 'heart eyes' emojis sometimes, depending upon what we are discussing. I don't send those to male friends though due to the potential for them to be misconstrued.

If you feel uneasy you possibly have good reason to feel that way. Not on the basis of age but on the basis of gut feeling and his reticence to have you on his SM.
What is he hiding exactly? Is it you? Or is it his behaviour/friends/flirting etc?

It wasn’t a text sent to him it was from a girls name with that emoji

So like

WhatsApp from “Emma 😻”

I see, well that is pretty shit/immature/unacceptable.

Either he accepts this and acts accordingly from now on, or you have a problem.
Personally I wouldn't be exclusively dating a man who didn't share his SM with me in the absence of a bloody good reason.

He sounds like trouble OP.

Lay your cards on the table and if he doesn't like it cut all ties is my advice.

The social media thing would be a major red flag for me.

I think your gut feeling may be serving you well here. That's not to say he's definitely arsing around but the clues so far don't look great so I think you're right to move on. You don't have to wait around to be proven right. The heart emoji thing sounds dodge. Did he also show you there and then 'Dave 😍' and 'Simon 😍'? If so, fine, but I'm guessing not.

I dont understand why this is even a question. Trust your instincts and get rid if him.

The social media thing would be more of a concern for me than the emoji

I would definitely dump, he's up to no good, he wouldn't admit it would he.

I know I"m much older than you but when I was 47 I met a man of 41 and we just clicked so completely, he added me to facebook when he was sitting opposite me. You should always trust your instincts. I have always been RIGHT even though I told myself, no, i don't ''know'' that.
I did know it, I just couldn't prove I knew it.

Trust your gut.

What I meant was that it's not the age gap, it's the FEELING you have.

I trust it now. It is always right. That younger guy was the first person I knew I could trust.

We are always ''shamed'' I think for having a gut feeling. Told we're paranoid.

If you feel you're being played then it's not worth it.

Yeah...
Two red flags there.

Sorry, that’s the emoji he uses for friends?! My fucking arse, he’s got that next to men’s names too has he?

The guys an idiot, move on. Sorry.

Why would you be having unprotected sex with a 23 year old you weren't sure if you could trust? Or do you mean still protected against pregnancy? Social media sounds like the least of your worries

Listen to your gut.

Always trust your gut - especially if you don't like what it's telling you. There's a great deal of information that the mind doesn't process consciously but which gets processed sub-consciously - that's the information you get from your gut.

Are you trying to get pregnant?

Sorry, OP
Dump, get tested, and move on.

Being in an exclusive relationship doesn't automatically = unprotected sex. Why are you having unprotected sex? Do you want to get pregnant?

Why would you be ok with not being on each other's social media? If he doesn't use it that's fine but if you know he does why are you ok for him to pretend you don't exist?

Oh fuck him off! That facebook thing says it all.

I’m on the pill we just both agreed because we were exclusive (ha) we wouldn’t use protection

I’m on the pill we just both agreed because we were exclusive (ha) we wouldn’t use protection

That doesn't make sense, OP - unless you mean protection against infection?

Anyway the very best protection would probably be to dump this one, because the signals are there loud and clear and otherwise you'll need a season ticket at the STI clinic

I think you're just being awkward by arguing the toss about stopping using protection and stopping using barrier methods . I'm sure it could have been figured out by context, given OP mentioned directly afterwards STI test results.

@ Puzzledandpissedoff

Contraception but no barrier protection?

I think you need to do more work on the relationship you have with yourself before you venture into a relationship with someone else.