Is it possible to work through a big betrayal?

[Dolly103]

I have been in a relationship with a male for 8 years.. it's not been straight forward to say the least I love him, we get on so well and he loves my kids (it's reciprocal). He likes to be alone (he has past trauma) so we lived apart until last year. It was a big big decision.
Since moving in I discovered that he has been in another relationship for 3 years. I am totally devastated, angry hurt..,, the whole time we were planning this move etc it's all just been a lie. Essentially he has been living a double life.
He said all the usual stuff and appears devastated. He is having therapy etc which is great but he moved out as once again he needs space.
It's so tough.
I just wondered if there are any recovery stories out there? How do people recover relationships when there have been so many lies.. is it possible?

I'm so sorry you moved in before you discovered this OP. I went through something similar 3 years ago. We had a child together, he couldn't move due to his big job etc. He was living with his PA in his house for a year behind my back.

Please please don't waste another second of your life with this duplicitous revolting selfish man. I'm so sorry OP but anyone who behaves like this deserves nothing from you. Good luck.

Thus has to be a joke right?

Do you really think so little of yourself that you're considering excusing him fucking someone else for THREE years!?

Damn he has worked a number on you!

He.is.not.sorry.
And the reason he cheated is because he wanted to. Not because of depression, not because of any mental issues, not because he repeated slipped and fell into her vagina. Because.he.wanted.to.

Whatever bullshit he is peddling now, for the love of goodness don't stop and sniff it!

Instead, see about therapy for yourself to come to terms with why you hate yourself so much that you are considering timg an utter bastard back into your life. Maybe he has fucked with your head...but seriously, seek help before you ruin your life.

He is having therapy etc which is great but he moved out as once again he needs space.

Sorry, what tf did I just read? He needs space? Poor lambkin, How about you tell him you need permanent space from such a duplicitous ballbag

Good grief, that’s huge, it’s not a small betrayal. Walk.

@DameMaureen

There are some situations and people that you will NEVER make sense of and it just does your head in trying to do so . Come on , you deserve better than this and you know it ?

Yes - I do know it and calling it on here has been so helpful. This is not me it's not my 💩

@belle40

I'm so sorry you moved in before you discovered this OP. I went through something similar 3 years ago. We had a child together, he couldn't move due to his big job etc. He was living with his PA in his house for a year behind my back.

Please please don't waste another second of your life with this duplicitous revolting selfish man. I'm so sorry OP but anyone who behaves like this deserves nothing from you. Good luck.

Thank you. Sorry to hear you went through similar

@Pinkbonbon

Thus has to be a joke right?

Do you really think so little of yourself that you're considering excusing him fucking someone else for THREE years!?

Damn he has worked a number on you!

He.is.not.sorry.
And the reason he cheated is because he wanted to. Not because of depression, not because of any mental issues, not because he repeated slipped and fell into her vagina. Because.he.wanted.to.

Whatever bullshit he is peddling now, for the love of goodness don't stop and sniff it!

Instead, see about therapy for yourself to come to terms with why you hate yourself so much that you are considering timg an utter bastard back into your life. Maybe he has fucked with your head...but seriously, seek help before you ruin your life.

Yes I have arranged counselling :)