Am I over reacting , being petulant or what?

[honesttogoodness]

Met my Partner (18 months together, living apart) last night after a week.
He is not sleeping well and has had a heavy emotional week,for context.
I was also exhausted. We went to bed and I fell asleep almost straight away.
He didn't kiss me goodnight nor put his arms around me. We were back to back all night, totally unlike us.
We are a very tactile couple and enjoy a robust sex life especially as we only see each other each weekend.
Not last night though in bed but we did have cuddles on the sofa beforehand.
I was pissed off this morning.
Am I being petulant here?

Did you not kiss him goodnight??
It works both ways but it does sound like you are being unfair.

I didn't.I was on my side and drifting off to sleep when he came in to bed.

I'd say yes you are.

If he's had a rough week emotionally, maybe he needs support and patience. What's happened?

You both sound exhausted. Sometimes we just need to recharge. There is nothing amiss with occasionally sleeping back to back. Affection works both ways though, if you want a hug then hug him!

If you were both exhausted then seems to me sleeping back to back is the best way to get a deeper and more uninterrupted sleep. Cuddly sleeping isn’t exactly conducive to deep sleep sometimes! However, did you kiss each other and cuddle this morning when you woke up? If you had cuddles in the sofa then i’d have considered that to be the goodnight cuddle and kiss with you both being exhausted.

@honesttogoodness

I didn't.I was on my side and drifting off to sleep when he came in to bed.

Well he could well have thought you were basically asleep and didn’t want to disturb you? I do think it’s a little unusual to be this annoyed at sleeping back to back and no goodnight kiss given the circumstances, but maybe if you’ve always been used to high amounts of contact in bed at night it feels a bit unsettling?

Not much of a cuddle this morning although he knew I was a bit
Miffed so was stroking me.
He gets anxiety with change and starts a new job on Monday and also a house move. He is also a chronic insomniac.

Are you 15
Get a grip

Yes you are

Poor bloke

If it was a bloke sulking because he didn't get physical affection one night, what would you think, OP?

I think I am unsettled.That's what it is.

Why didn't you cuddle him?

He could be posting the same thread.

Well, any change to a usual routine with someone can feel a bit odd and maybe give you pause for thought. But clearly he cares so id let it go and put it down to just a bit of an internal jolt rather than read too much into it. Also reverse positions is always a good idea - if you had chronic insomnia, were exhausted and had anxiety would you feel it was fair of him to be annoyed you didn’t sleepy cuddle for one night and didn’t kiss him goodnight?

Seriously...????
Get a grip woman, you can't be like rabbits all the time...
It's good to have your own space, even in bed, sometimes you need it...
my partner and I only see each other at weekends, sometimes only one night, yes we have a very active and adventurous sex life, but he understands that sometimes I just need to sleep..
it just makes it even better the next time you show each other affection

So he's knackered, stressed, and anxious - you were already in bed turned away from him and mostly asleep - and now you're pissed off and huffy that he didn't initiate sex/cuddles?

Does that actually reasonable behaviour on your part?

I can’t believe how different the responses would be if it were the other way round.
He could tell you were miffed at him!!

You sound like you should spend some money on therapy. ASAP and don’t get into a relationship till you’ve worked out this is not acceptable behaviour

My vote is for petulant.

I can’t believe how different the responses would be if it were the other way round.

Rubbish. no-one is telling her this is OK behaviour on her part.

Are you always this needy? Sulking is deeply unattractive as well

You are being ridiculous and I feel sorry for him.

I was very surprised to read the final lines of your op. I thought you were detailing how much you understood him until you wrote of being angry. I wouldn't call your response petulant, but somehow you understood the meaningful aspects of context that explain both of your feelings last night but then didn't understand a natural outcome of that context.

“So he's knackered, stressed, and anxious - you were already in bed turned away from him and mostly asleep - and now you're pissed off and huffy that he didn't initiate sex/cuddles?

Does that actually reasonable behaviour on your part?”

This. He’s had a tough week and you’re making it about you.

Petulant all the way. Sometimes you need to cut people some slack, plus you have some responsibility for this relationship too!

If your DP knows how to handle your petulance and emotions, it could be fun. If not, it's going to be a drain.

C'mon, you must know you're in the wrong here...