Am I over reacting , being petulant or what?

[honesttogoodness]

Met my Partner (18 months together, living apart) last night after a week.
He is not sleeping well and has had a heavy emotional week,for context.
I was also exhausted. We went to bed and I fell asleep almost straight away.
He didn't kiss me goodnight nor put his arms around me. We were back to back all night, totally unlike us.
We are a very tactile couple and enjoy a robust sex life especially as we only see each other each weekend.
Not last night though in bed but we did have cuddles on the sofa beforehand.
I was pissed off this morning.
Am I being petulant here?

Grow up. Yes you are being petulant and childish

He has had a tough week, you told us that, yes you expect him to carry on as normal!

Well good luck, cos carry on as you are, being pissed of with him because he had the audacity to fall asleep after a emotional week I would be walking, so then you can be as petulant and childish as you like no one will care

He needs support and care from you, not you being pissed off with him

As I said before grow up

I do.Thanks. It's been a tough week
and I'm just drained from it too. I needed some affection but I do see I'm in the wrong.Thank you.

Poor bloody bloke.
Grow up.

@honesttogoodness

I do.Thanks. It's been a tough week and I'm just drained from it too. I needed some affection but I do see I'm in the wrong.Thank you.

Couldn't you initiate?

It's easy to get it back on track OP. Just make the first move to say you've both had a tough week, and let's draw a line under it, and have a nice weekend.

You can do it

What @daisychain01 said. Most of us can be arseholes occasionally (I know I can). You can turn this round now and get a good thing back on track.

Btw: I used to always want reassurance that I was cared for, set constant little tests of caring for my now DH and fret when he inevitably failed some of them. Then I realised that was hugely dysfunctional - essentially emotional vampirism - and learned to initiate when I needed something rather than passively waiting for it and assuming the worst if it didn’t arrive. It’s a much better way.

It's hard isn't, when you're feeling drained. We can all make a misstep. Hope the weekend improves for you op!

Absolutely petulant. I think you need to really examine why you are feeling this way.

@Dery

What *@daisychain01* said. Most of us can be arseholes occasionally (I know I can). You can turn this round now and get a good thing back on track.

Btw: I used to always want reassurance that I was cared for, set constant little tests of caring for my now DH and fret when he inevitably failed some of them. Then I realised that was hugely dysfunctional - essentially emotional vampirism - and learned to initiate when I needed something rather than passively waiting for it and assuming the worst if it didn’t arrive. It’s a much better way.

Indeed, @Dery been there done that, got emotionally exhausted! Now the roolz are don't drag things on more than necessary, don't expect each other to mind read, and keep the conversation going, And don't row late at night, the likelihood is that it's tiredness talking and a good night's sleep helps

Thanks for your kindness.We are both spent and delicate lately with lack of sleep. I'll
Definitely take Your comments on board.

No wonder he gets anxious!

Yeah I think it's unsettled you and his pulling away a bit has made you feel abandoned.

He's had a hard week, feeling emotional, hasn't been sleeping. Your comfort isn't his number one priority right now.

It doesn't sound like he's sulking or anything you could be cross with

I see I was being a complete arsehole.
Sometimes, and I risk being flamed for this , dealing with partners anxiety which seems to be constant lately is just draining. Like all of us, he becomes self absorbed and regardless of what is going on with others, he doesn't seem to be able to see beyond himself. I know I can be like that.
I need to find ways of managing this I guess.Thanks.

Given that you are aware of all his foibles yabu to complain...

Maybe you're taking on too much of his stuff as your own?

He should be seeking support from his doctor/counsellor, not offloading onto you alone.

If he's dragging you down with him, you need to remember that thing about putting on your own oxygen mask first.

I wonder sometimes what it must be like looking for perceived slights and reasons to take offence all day every day.

Also to be one of those people who blames all of their behaviour on external factors rather than just having some integrity.

Tbh I do think if you are needing a bit of affection, don't expect him to magically know. I would probably scoot over, give him a prod and say 'give us a hug lovely!'. People aren't mind readers. I don't think you are being petulant, but I do think you are reading something into this that simply isn't there. Relax. It's okay!

Massively so. I know it's a new relationship so expectation are different, but are you an adult?