37 weeks pregnant and have to live apart :,(

[Upsidedownroundandround]

I will try to keep this brief but its very complicated. Im currently 37 weeks pregnant with my partners baby. We have had our ups and down like any relationship. We recently had child services involved due to very mallicious call from friend of mine whom I started keeping at arms length during my pregnancy. Mainly because she drinks and always asks me for money. I stopped lending her money and stopped seeing her so much. She annymously called social services and said some mean things up about mine and my partners relationship. We had an assessment and they said due to the allegation it had to be a child protection plan, then 2 days later she called and said they are closing the case , however if I get back with my partner then I have to make them aware. My partner has done nothing wrong , we have never had the police out , never had any issues apart from a few arguments but nothing anyone else would have. My partner is deeply upset by all of this and we are both now apart because we just cannot bare the thought of having them back in our lives until my baby girl is back with me at home safe and sound. Even then we are too scared to see each other. Its really affected us both terribly and we have both got very depressed about it and now we arent even speaking to each other . I guess time will heal. Just looking for some support.

What were the ups and downs precisely?

Did you tell social services you weren’t with your partner but you actually are?

What support do you have? Have you got someone to be a birth partner?

Hey, you can have some support from me. You cut your toxic friend off and she became bitter and decided to ruin your life.
This is a fantastic time in your life and you should be enjoying it, I'm sorry to hear this vicious trollop has nothing better to do than ruin the life of someone who used to help her.
She's cut off now, you've done the hardest part, Social services will ignore her if she keeps making unfounded accusations. Take care of yourself and I hope you're with your partner soon.

Hmmm, a child protection plan is fairly high up the possible interventions available to social workers and not one that's entered into for no good reason.

Are you being really honest with yourself? What were the allegations?

Now is the time to put your baby first.

So the social worker said if you stay with your partner it would likely be proceeding to child protection conference but because you told them you were going to live separately (did you tell them you had ended the relationship?) they closed the case?

A child protection conference only happens when there is a significant risk of harm to a child. You need to reflect very seriously, beyond what your friend might have said, on why social services might have been so concerned about your relationship.

The allegations were my house was constantly being smashed up , they havent proceeded with child protection they have closed the case

no she didn't say that at all, she said inwould have to notify them as they will need to come back and reasses but the whole process and stress has totally ruined our relationship we have been ripped apart and we are both still shocked and deeply hurt

im all alone now , and I'm so sad and can't stop crying that someone could do this to me

@Upsidedownroundandround

The allegations were my house was constantly being smashed up , they havent proceeded with child protection they have closed the case

So if they've closed the case and there's no CPP in place, what is stopping you two being together?

however if I get back with my partner then I have to make them aware

So, presumably, you and your partner had already split before/as SS became involved. If you’ve never had any real issues, why did you split? Or were you lying to SS?

If they need to reassess the situation if you get back together, that would suggest you told them you'd separated. Is that the case?

Maybe you’re too upset to make much sense?

If the claims are groundless and they habe closed the case, why have you told them you seperated and now living apart?

Because the stress it has caused, im terrified said friend will make any more allegations

Was your house being smashed up?

If it wasn't, why have you and your partner agreed to split?

If it was, can you see why such an environment wouldn't be safe for a baby?

@Upsidedownroundandround

Because the stress it has caused, im terrified said friend will make any more allegations

Op are the allegations true? Yoire anonymous on here. You can be honest. Is there more she can say? Does he have a history of violence to women?

@Upsidedownroundandround

Because the stress it has caused, im terrified said friend will make any more allegations

So have you actually separated?

Tell SS her report was malicious.
If you're still together, let them investigate properly and, if is all as your say, it'll get them off your backs.
If not, this will be hanging over you for a long time.

Of course not , she was jelous of my pregnancy, I cant bare to ever have those social worker in my house again , scared the life out of me

You shouldn't be scared of them
They are there to support safeguard and prevent any harm to yourself or any child born

If you are honest and engage with them
They do all they can to ensure you are the best parent you can be

They are also very used to inaccurate malicious accusations and would take no action unless they did have concerns

So I think you need to be a little bit more realistic here OP then you will get kind honest support here

Was your friend jealous of your pregnancy or annoyed because you've refused to give her money? How do you know it was that friend who contact social services - did the social worker tell you that or have you assumed?

What do the 'ups and downs' in your relationship look like? And what about the social worker scared you so much?

Sorry you're going through this OP

But if SS have closed the case then you won't have to tell them anything about living with your partner again.

It doesn’t really add up op. If someone made a malicious report about us and case closed I can’t imagine leaving my husband over it. It’s an unusual reaction

As pp said, how do you know it was her?

@nc4565

Sorry you're going through this OP

But if SS have closed the case then you won't have to tell them anything about living with your partner again.

Well she will, she’s been told she has to if she goes near him again.

Suspect there is more to this thans being said.

SS get many malicious reports. If a case is closed then you shouldn’t be bound to inform them of anything?

What did you tell them about your partner? Has he previously smashed things in the house?

So have they closed a case against you but opened one against him?

Did they provide you with any advice on how to protect your child going forward? If they need to be informed of the status of your relationship, what about child custody arrangements?