37 weeks pregnant and have to live apart :,(

[Upsidedownroundandround]

I will try to keep this brief but its very complicated. Im currently 37 weeks pregnant with my partners baby. We have had our ups and down like any relationship. We recently had child services involved due to very mallicious call from friend of mine whom I started keeping at arms length during my pregnancy. Mainly because she drinks and always asks me for money. I stopped lending her money and stopped seeing her so much. She annymously called social services and said some mean things up about mine and my partners relationship. We had an assessment and they said due to the allegation it had to be a child protection plan, then 2 days later she called and said they are closing the case , however if I get back with my partner then I have to make them aware. My partner has done nothing wrong , we have never had the police out , never had any issues apart from a few arguments but nothing anyone else would have. My partner is deeply upset by all of this and we are both now apart because we just cannot bare the thought of having them back in our lives until my baby girl is back with me at home safe and sound. Even then we are too scared to see each other. Its really affected us both terribly and we have both got very depressed about it and now we arent even speaking to each other . I guess time will heal. Just looking for some support.

Is the Child Protection Plan case closed BECAUSE he's not living with you any more? Hence if he moves back in, you need to inform them as they will have to reopen? That's the only thing that makes any sense to me tbh. It seems unlike that an allegation from a single person would jump straight to a CPP.

Sorry OP but I don't buy this for a second. I've been the victim of a malicious report to SS and know of one or two other people. For all of us, SS called us, asked a lot of probing questions and did a welfare check on oir children- mine involved calling my child's nursery, they called my friend's health visitor who also did a visit to check baby was well cared for, food in fridge etc. They are experts at identifying and dealing with malicious reports and it would never escalate to this point without serious concerns or evidence. If you want this situation to be resolved you need to start being honest about what has happened so far and make a clear plan to protect your baby moving forward

Op there is clearly much more to this than a malicious report.as they see your child at risk, you told them you’d seperated and you need to inform them if you go back to this man.

I’m assuming he’s violent with prevjous and you don’t want to admit it or you yourself have issues that would result in your child being at risk,

I think you need to stop focusing on your mate really.

Sorry there’s definitely more to this then you are saying and you need to open your eyes. Without proof social services would not look into a case with an unborn child. You decided to be sneaky and say you have separated which in turn if true makes it all look true and now you are saying you are getting together. If it’s not true then you didn’t need to separate and just prove it’s an unhinged friend causing drama. I think you need luck with this one as they’ll be on your back for lying.

They dont see my kids as a risk tho , they didn't even go to the school in the end to speak to the kids ??? Partner has his own place anyway

You’re not telling the whole story

@Upsidedownroundandround

They dont see my kids as a risk tho , they didn't even go to the school in the end to speak to the kids ??? Partner has his own place anyway

They don't see them as 'at risk' when your partner isn't there. They've made it very clear that they have no idea whether he is a risk.

Op it’s fair enough you don’t want to give the story but the thread is a little pointless when you don’t.

Good luck 💐

Being so far into your pregnancy and dealing with such complex issues must be hard but you're contradicting yourself in your posts which is why I think we are struggling to understand what is going on - if your partner has his own place then how are you being made to live apart.

You'll find a huge amount of support here, but it'll only mean anything if you are truthful about what's going on - to yourself if nothing else.

Op did you name change for this or are you a new poster?

I hope you will feel able to tell us a bit more Op. It's just what you've said so far doesn't make a lot of sense.

If the call was malicious, and SS had no concerns, why did they tell you that you had to let them know if your bf moved back in?

Was there any truth at all in what this 'friend' reported? Has he ever smashed things up? Does he have a temper?

If what she said was 100% untrue, why did he have to move out? Why are SS interested on if he moves back in?

They don't see them as 'at risk' when your partner isn't there. They've made it very clear that they have no idea whether he is a risk.

This. It sounds from your posts like the reason the case was closed was because you’d told them you’d separated, hence why they would like to be informed if you reunite.

Was your house being smashed up?

I feel like I've read this before. A couple of times. I think I even day the same thing each time. Dagnamit.

A SW won't be concerned if you don't live with him and broke up. Obviously.

If you get back together they will. Again obviously.

SWs receive tons of malicious reports and nothing happens if there isn't additional information.

Does your boyfriend have a temper and does be like to break stuff?

My house has never been smashed up , and yes I know it was this said jelous friend as she has asked me many a time to report her ex husbands gf to social services. She also has had 2 and a half years involvement with them herself. She also has told me many a time to get rid of dp and she will help me bring up my child. The more I kept her at arms length she got more nasty , she was calling me all names under the sun the evening before I got a hand written note from ss through the door. She had been drunk the night before banging on my door late at night and I refused to let her in. Agter 3 grueling weeks of feeling utter shit and traumatised by the constant questioning of these people like im being interrogated has ruined the last few weeks of pregnancy for me . I'm utterly terrified to ever speak to these people again

I'm sorry OP but there must be more to it than you're telling us. Social Services have plenty of faults but they wouldn't initiate a child protection plan based on a single malicious report, not if there was no evidence to back up what had been reported. There is more to this than you are telling us, especially as SS dropped the case when your partner moved out. It is likely that he has a history of violence or risky behaviour even if he has not yet been violent towards you. If you don't feel able to open up to us that's ok but please don't lie to yourself; SS will act very quickly if they believe your baby will be at risk. If you really aren't aware of any reason why SS would consider him a threat please speak to them about it or consider making an application to the police under Clare's Law to see if he has previous for domestic violence. Please prioritise your child over this man.

They obviously feel your partner poses a risk to children. They will have information which leads them to believe this. Don't be naïve