Is it better to marry for love or stability?

[lostperson]

On behalf of my friend. Is it better to marry someone who is stable or someone with low income but you love.

I need more context please.

Why is said friend in the position to be fielding two marriage proposals?
When you say stable, what constitutes stable?
Same question but for low income?
Does said friend work?
What is their income like?

You mean for love or money?
Depends what you like.

Now, I'd only marry someone who was both stable and we really loved each other. I'm too old for destitute passion and too young for the tedium of nightly sensible financial planning to the penny in beige slippers.

There are people who exist who are eminently loveable and stable at the same time.

It’s better to not get married at all if the prospect raises questions like that.

I think if you can’t have both then don’t get married at all

If you need to ask, neither. Just don't do it.

It’s better to love someone partly because they’re stable.

I’d only marry someone for both. Otherwise you shouldn’t get married.

I couldn't love someone who isn't stable - the 2 go hand in hand for me so I advise you friend to have higher standards snd want for both before marrying

and wait for both

NOBODY and I mean NOBODY on here .. will ever admit to marrying for Money .. sorry I mean stability 😂

I chose stability & Love. Thank God we are happy.

We've been married for 16 years, our son is 14.

Money is GREAT!

But hardly any marriage will last only based on money.

There should, I'd say MUST BE true, genuine, mutual feeling of Love & chemistry too.

Money can be not stable either but true love might help to make relations last.

If she has to ask then she shouldn't be getting married at all

@Vodkacarbsandtobacco

If she has to ask then she shouldn't be getting married at all

Why not ask just in general people's view if there is such a wish?

I had some poor men I knew who liked me and would want to marry me.

They had no life ambitions like I did. So they were not much of an interest to me and we didn't have much in common.

I liked some of them too but I was looking for a stable man with a good career potential so we both had similar life goals and ambitions and had mutual Love and chemistry at the same time and I found my Lovely Husband.

@Vodkacarbsandtobacco

If she has to ask then she shouldn't be getting married at all

Absolutely

@QueenBee52

NOBODY and I mean NOBODY on here .. will ever admit to marrying for Money .. sorry I mean stability 😂

There's a part of me that thinks it would be very freeing to be so uncaring of others feelings and able to compartmentalise enough to marry purely for money. Just find a billionaire and live it up

The reality is that I just couldn't do it.

I need love to marry. I'd like the person to be stable too as in regularly employed, no serious vices, generally mentally well and non abusive. Money helps but it isn't and shouldn't be everything. If it is there's something a bit wrong with a person IMO.

I totally believe that there are folk that would and I wouldn't be surprised if there aren't some who post saying so, it's anonymous after all!

Love, surely marrying for a bank balance is essentially selling your body, but only having the one client.

Why do so many people say stable rather than rich? Is it an attempt to pretend they aren’t essentially selling themselves to the highest bidder?

It is possible to have both.

Both, ideally.

Money can’t buy love, but lack of it can destroy it. I wouldn’t, and didn’t, marry a man who wasn’t stable. That said, I didn’t marry a man I didn’t love.

Low income isn't the same as unstable, I was thinking you were going to be talking about something tumultuous. Please don't be coy about what you mean.

Depends what she wants out of life, doesn't it? If she wants money, she could, I don't know, here's a thought, maximise her own income and have a low-waged partner she loves. Or, if he is of a like mind, he might not always be a low earner, he might have ambition.

Neither, marriage has overall negative net effects for women

For myself, it was marrying for love, we were both broke when we got together, virtually broke when we got married but now live very comfortable. What we did always have was goals and aims, I was doing a Masters, then a PhD and my husband was building a career.

We did however have the same attitude to money, work hard, build for the future, worked second jobs to get more money etc. Neither of us has any debt apart from student loans (now paid off) and a mortgage and we both hate debt.

That is a very different position to getting into a relationship with someone who is broke, with no money and little work ethic.

@lostperson

On behalf of my friend. Is it better to marry someone who is stable or someone with low income but you love.

Is the low income the result of a history of addiction? Is it indicative of an over-reliance on others while claiming a moral high ground of a disdain for every day pragmatic realities?

Does the other partner have a sufficient independent income to overcome the lack of resources of the other partner?

Is there going to be a dependence upon the welfare system that already doesn't serve people well and is likely to be constricted in an horrendous manner in the near future?

Lots of missing context.