Does anyone else DP think its morally wrong to change his daughters nappy or bath her? but not his sons??

[AlixLeah]

my fiance has 2 children with his ex (hes a bit older than me) weve been together two years and now have a wonderful daughter. he never changed his otehr daughters nappys but changed his sons and he says he feels its morally wrong for him to change and bath our daughter as shes a girl only problem is it means its always me doing it and i get up all thru the night he never has and im worn out, any advise??

This is all quite heterosexual-centric really isn't it? Am I violating my dd when I delve in with the wipes???? Actually don't do muching delving, dds are quite self-cleaning aren't they? But the point satnds, abusers - if that's what the concern is, could be either sex to either sex, couldn't they?

when my dd was born, i did have to ask my friend how 'far in' i had to wipe if dd did a poo as i didnt want to do more than neccesary, i was so scared and felt exactly the same, so maybe irrational, but not uncommon

shit i'm really sorry alix and snowflake don't mean to jump in there all ignorant. your past is very and of course most abusers are opposite sex, just a bit confused as to how paediphilia can be used to prevent dps who do't have those feelings from touching their dds genitals in a loving parent way.

crap spelling!

My DH has never said he has a problem changing DD - but he avoids it like the plague, whereas he alwyas bathed, changed and dressed DS with not a murmer. I have often wondered whether its coz he feels odd changing a girl.

To say it's 'morally wrong is arrant bullshit'. And a religion or culture that thinks it is 'morally wrong' is a religion or culture with low respect for women, so tthat should be ignored as well.

However, in the case of the OP's DP, it does sound more as though he's got issues around sexuality and would benefit from sorting those out, than that he's trying to get out of dealing with nappy time (hey, no-one loves it). He should look into getting his issues addressed anyway, before he inadvertently warps his DDs attitude towards her own body and her own sexuality.

yeah i can see where theyre coming from dont know if tis my past but when im looking after boys im all matter of fact and talk through bottom changes like "ok xxx, let get you bum clean, wipe you tail..yep there we go, put your cream on now..so on", really talk through it like someone is listening??..crazy i know!

see hatrick that's another weird idea, its ok to bf a boy because heterosexual acceptable so by definition bf = sexual in some way. But no don't bf a dd cos that's, like, lesbian isn't it????

it is a joke in our family that my dad managed to have 3 kids and NEVER changed a nappy (god knows why my mum let him get away with it)

it was nothing to do with morals, just an inablity to deal with pee and poo without gagging!

if your dh really has a 'moral issue' with looking at his own dds genitals i would be very surprised - i think he is just being an old fart of a father!!

Well I hope Alix you both get it sorted...

thanks everyone for your help im still not 100% sure if hes lazy or theres real issues there i will get it sorted tho, n im glad other fathers behave n feel this way too, sorry about the past too sweetsnowflake, its hard to forget but we gotta get on wiv things i spose xxx

yeah what doesnt kill you makes you strongertake care

after having our ds, dh did comment that it was a bit odd but mainly just different when changing dd. but i made him get stuck in straight away, when we were in hospital after she was born and they do one of those really black/green smelly poos, just handed her over and said 'there you go dear'....he had no choice!!!