Help!! I'm not sure I fancy him enough!

[Sarz1991]

So I had my fifth date with a really nice guy last night. We have been seeing each other for 6 weeks in total. So on the first date initially I didn't fancy him too much, but during the date I started to find him attractive. Fast forward to the 2nd date and again I started to fancy him a bit more.

By the third date I was quite surprised to find that I fancied him more again, so my flirtatious side came out a lot eg I told him he smelled nice and that he had nice eyes etc. We finally kissed but it was a bit awkward and this is where my problem starts.

He is SO SHY when it comes to initiating kissing. However he does lay his hand on my legs when we're sitting down and he always makes great eye contact. He does flirt a bit but his total lack of going in for the kiss is starting to turn me off him. I now know its because he really fancies me so seems to be nervous about making the first move. He strikes me as the type that hasn't been in a relationship for a while now. He has had a girlfriend so is not totally inexperienced.

However it is not just his shyness that is turning me off him. I really hate to say this but it wasn't until our 4th date that I noticed his arms are extremely hairy and I was a little bit icked by it! Thankfully the kiss was better but I still had to initiate it. We didn't see each other again until 2 weeks later because of his extremely busy work schedule, we had planned to meet up twice but work got in the way and the 2nd time he was too hungover! So we finally met up last night at stupid o clock. Again he wasn't finished work until 6:30 and it takes him an hour to get to my place. So it was nearly 9 by the time he got to mine. Now I was a bit hungover and tired from a few drinks the night before so I wasn't in mighty form. We went to the cinema and again I started to feel like I didn't fancy him as much as the 3rd date. However we get on great and I know I definitely do find him attractive but it being dark certainly doesn't help things! The kiss at the end was only ok. To be fair I was really tired so I just wasn't in the mood for it. Again he didn't lean in to kiss me so that annoyed me again. My excuse is that I need to be seeing him for longer than a few hours because it was on our 3rd date in daylight which went on for hours that I really found him attractive.

So what's the verdict? Do I just not fancy him enough?

Sounds to me like you're really trying to force yourself to fancy him. Doesn't bode well. I'd leave it.

Is he aware you want him to initiate? Maybe he's just being polite/respectful/has female friends who tell him most men are too full on?

Why are you trying to force yourself to fancy this bloke?

What rules do you think we have access to that you don't, regarding how much you're meant to fancy him?

My excuse is that I need to be seeing him for longer than

Why do you need an excuse? There's no higher authority judging you, here. You're in charge. Take responsibility for your own feelings. How would you feel if someone you were dating was asking on a forum whether he fancied you enough to keep seeing you?

Not fancying him asside, you don't sound compatable either.

I ended it with someone 3 dates in a few month back, because they were too introverted for me. I don't want to be the only one taking initiative in a relationship. And if they start out failing to take initiative, they will only ever get worse, not better.

Call time on this one.

You can’t force yourself to fancy this hairy fellow. Just move on and say goodnight vienna

Does he just not like kissing perhaps?
I don't, I couldn't think of anything worse than a snog so I would never initiate as I'm trying to avoid it.

You lost me at hairy arms, I'm not into hairy, strangely never had to deal with it, though I'm sure plenty of men must be, just lucky I suppose

You're not into him but you're trying to be, it's just not going to work, you shouldn't be having these thoughts so early into a relationship and he sounds like he's a crap kisser. Some men are, nerves or not and it's very disappointing, and you can't train them either. Sorry

Hairy arms reminds me of this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/2713481-Penetration-man

Stop dating him if you don't find him attractive, you would definitely know if you fancied him enough, what about the thought of sleeping with him.

Are you 15? Because you sound like it.

Date someone, spend time with them and if you enjoy it and find them attractive, carry on, of not, don't.

@Sakurami

Are you 15? Because you sound like it.

Date someone, spend time with them and if you enjoy it and find them attractive, carry on, of not, don't.

This - all of this.

Stop messing him about. Do both of you a favour and move along.

If you're in any doubt whatsoever this early on, you definitely don't fancy him enough. Xxx