Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Married to a depressed person

5 replies

Quadrilingual · 19/09/2021 09:29

What are people's experiences being married to someone with long term depression? While I have been with my DH he has had severe depression on and off for most of the marriage. When he is like that he struggles to deal with the lows of life such as getting a parking ticket/house sale falling through etc. He tends to blame me for the reason of his unhappiness and he eats as his addiction/coping mechanism. He has never been violent or anything but it's just this horrible person he becomes: uncaring and selfish and will point blame. He will also say that he doesn't see the point of life and wishes he was dead regularly when in this start. The thing is he has tried anti depressants which didn't help too much and he has seen various counsellors which also hasn't seemed to change much. I believe that he isn't taking it seriously enough with doing the techniques and homework they set. I only see a life with him where he is depressed on and off forever. I am learning to cope with it better but it is still very upsetting when he is pushing me away with his words/ blaming me/ wishing he was dead. He fails to see how this can be hurtful to me and as I understand it, the depression makes him a different person completely. When he is exercising regularly and eating well he is fine for months on end but it is when he stops exercising that the depression starts up again. He is a lovely DH when not depressed and we are happily married but this is never the whole story. Although I want to have children with him I worry that bringing up children with a man who is on off depressed is not a good idea. Please share your stories and advice.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 19/09/2021 09:34

I would post on the MH forum to get informed advice. There will be people who have gone through this and people who are going through it on there. They will have good insights.

It won’t move as fast but you won’t get pages of advice and diagnosis that isn’t helpful and can be down right counterproductive.

Quadrilingual · 19/09/2021 09:35

Thanks @LemonTT for the pointer. What/where is the MH forum? I'm new to mumsnet. Thanks.

OP posts:
Quadrilingual · 19/09/2021 09:37

Oh do you mean a different forum for mental health?

OP posts:
SpringheelJack · 19/09/2021 09:40

Here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed

Smile
Quadrilingual · 19/09/2021 09:43

Thank you @Springheeljack

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread