Some.of you may remember my previous posts about my relationship with my partner. Long story but he has basically never been a support to me, let me move house alone at 9 months pregnant (when we were moving in together), was telling me I should be bending down picking up things he dropped after my c section because I'm younger and fitted. He was addicted to Xbox (not so bad now) but would play until 3am, then stay in bed until 1pm. I'd be up all night with the baby, doing school runs and all house work and if I was ever upset he would tell me I'm mental and hormonal. He's someone who when I had a vomiting bug, he walked past the bedroom whilst I was vomiting into a bowl and out 7 month old was screaming in bed next to me and didn't help. Anyway, there is so much more...
He's someone who talks loud, interrupts constantly and talks over me. He's addicted to his phone and can't even be bothered to listen to me speak. He constantly criticises everything and comes out with stupid comments, shouts at me and tells me I'm mental. Doesn't listen to my olpoint of view, just talks at me and then if I try and say anything he tells me I don't need to speak.
When I became pregnant he reluctantly agreed to live in my area as my son is in school here. It's literally half hour from where be was previously living (at his dad's house which be lived for 11 years post divorce). I said the other day that if it wasn't for our son, he wouldn't live here with me and he said "yes that's right, I'm the one with the money. I would have told you that you're moving to XXX and you have no choice. You'd have obviously disagreed and our relationship would be over and it's your fault".
I asked him to help with our son recently because I've had chronic pelvic pain and he said he would rather I didn't work at all and just do the housework and stop moaning at him" because he's a traditional man and when he was growing up the woman looked after the home. I do everything in the house and work more hours than him.
I feel bullied and I feel he's trying to break me. He wants me to think Im going mad and I'm scared people believe him because he's a doctor and so much older than me. He'll shout at me and argue with me and if I get upset he tells me I'm crying like a baby and obviously mental and need help. He constantly tells me I'm mental and depressed. This is because when we fall out, I go quiet and he says I'm a miserable bitch. I don't go quiet to be passive aggressive, it's literally because I can't communicate with him. He's doesn't listen and shouts over me. Guaranteed that EVERY SINGLE disagreement we have (or issue I bring up) will lead to him telling me I'm mental. Honestly. Every. Disagreement. He will turn everything around to the fact I'm crazy. Oh I'm an angry person too. I don't even know what he means by angry. I admit that I've raised my voice but this is because he shouts over me and then he comes out with such ridiculous things that I almost can't cope to listen to it.
Just an example from tonight. I have spoken to his brother's wife to discuss us all metring this weekend. Her and I have decided we would meet at a farm and do crazy golf. I explained this to him and before confirming with her, I asked if he was ok with this. He said yes. So I confirm with her. I get into bed and the moaning starts...
"Do you think it's a god idea to take DS to XXX "
"Yes, it's a place for children his age, why dont think we shouldn't?"
"Last time he didn't like the animals"
" He was a little scared of some but he was happy to look at them all and not get too close, plus they have parks etc"
"It's so expensive there, it'll cost ..."
"Ok then, we can make alternative plans if you like"
"No it's just silly and food will cost a lot too'"
"Ok, well we can take packed lunch. I need to sleep now"
"And crazy golf is a ridiculous idea"
"Ok, I know he may run around a bit but I thought it would be something nice to do"
"As long as you know that you're doing all the running around and chasing him. I'm not"
"Ok, if you think it's that bad, let's just make other plans or cancel"
"You never make plans"
"I've just made plans and you aren't happy with them"
"Also I'm playing darts the night before, so I don't want to go early" (going at 11am but he can never be out the house before 2pm.
"Ok, so we should cancel"
"Whats wrong with you, you're so highly strung"
"I'm tired, I have to be up early. If you aren't happy then let's not go"
"You're a miserable cow all the time"
"I've been upset because you always criticise me"
"I don't, you're just a miserable bitch and crazy. You're depressed and you need help. You evidently have no insight into your mental health"
"The way you treat me makes me feel depressed. I'm not actually depressed though"
.it basically led on to why are we together and I've said I honestly have no idea and I just want him to go, I've had enough.
I feel warn down. He moans constantly about everything. I dread doing anything with him because it always leads to him insulting me. I feel completely uncared for and unimportant. I mostly feel I could drop dead and he'd be over it in an hour.
I'm 34. He's 51. I want to live my life, get married again, own a home. I think he would rather we had never had a child (although he does love him) and live at his dad's rent free and have a gf he sees once a week.
Honestly though, I can't express how frustrated and upset I am that he insults me and then tells me I'm going mad. He probably tells others I'm mad too.
I've no idea what will happen. I assume he'll leave in the morning.