Changing relationships after weight loss

[Aldiyoohoo]

I've only lost 1 stone.
The ladies in DHs family are mostly larger than me, but since losing a stone, they have changed the way they speak to and treat me.
I've started wearing tighter fitting clothes as I feel more confident- just fitted t-shirts and shorts really in a more feminine cut. I'm still a size 14, so hardly like I've been hasty and still, I'm over weight and could lose more. But I'm being labelled as "so skinny" by the women in DHs family, they keep looking me up and down, commenting on my clothes. One said I looked like I was dressed for a night out when I wore a fitted top and shorts on a hot day.
DHs sister has become quite difficult and has made the most comments, she isn't being friendly anymore and

I definitely lost and gained a few friends along the way. I was “Mean Girlsed” by a group I thought I was close to. That hurt a lot. Our daughters are all close and I have had to keep really quiet about my feelings on the subject. Lately a few things have happened on the periphery of the kids’ friendship group and they have begun to turn to me again, but I find it hard to trust them. None of them were there for me when I needed them through some tough times and they know that and have acknowledged it. I have confronted one about the bitchy comments she made calling me anorexic, which isn’t true - and knowing that both of us had anorexic mothers and the impact it had on us both how much it hurt. I have had comments from work colleagues, etc, but they’re easy to ignore. The ones that drive me nuts are the people who interrogate me about what I did to lose my weight and then tell me why it wouldn’t work for them, and then look back at me like it’s my fault they’re overweight.… I’m not a weightloss guru. I don’t have a magic wand. I put in the work, and continue to make sacrifices. Also, I didn’t do it for them.

I had that too @Justilou1. I would be asked how I'd lost the weight and I said (honestly) 'the really boring way, less calories and more exercise'. I calorie counted, didn't exceed my allowance and walked as much as I could (I can't do other exercise because of an injury). I also only had one treat day a week and when I say treat I mean I had one treat. Like a small glass of wine and a small portion of a reasonable pudding after a slightly higher than normal calorie dinner. I don't mean I had a huge chinese, with a bottle of wine and a whacking great slice of cake after once a week.

Cue 'oh I've tried that, it doesn't work for me'. Actually it does work for most people unless you have a medical issue, which most people don't. I also know full well that what they mean is they tried to do it but still had takeaways at the weekends, or still drank a few glasses of wine on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights, or still picked at chocolate whilst being low calorie the rest of the time.

I don't judge people for not being able to stick to a lower calorie diet day in day out - I couldn't for years and years. I'm an emotional eater and I pick when I'm bored and I've had to work really hard to stop doing that. But saying 'it doesn't work' like I have some magic cure that's not accessible to them too is crap. It does, you just have to do it and you being able to do it and them not being able to at that time makes people feel bad. Then they're bitchy about it.

I've a friend who won't go on evenings out with me any more. My weight loss has coincided with her weight gain, and she says I make her feel worse about herself. I get a lot of compliments when out which makes it worse. She's not jealous, she's lovely, and I get its not about me but about how she feels about herself, but it's really a shame.

I lost 3 stone and although I didn’t receive any overtly negative comments I did get lots of ‘you’ve lost too much/it shows in your face’ comments.

And one friend always talks about diets and food to me, like I’m a weight loser guru. I ate less food, that is all.

Is there anything more boring than women going on about diets?

@likearoomwithoutaroof is spot on. I have lost 20kg and the comments from people are endless. My bitch sister in law is jealous tho, that’s enough for me 🤷🏼‍♀️ 😂.

Oh darling I am sending you strength for today from Australia. Please remember what the previous poster said above and also every time you can feel yourself reacting, squeeze your toes up instead. Do something that only you can feel and no one can see. (Great time for pelvic floor exercising, maybe???) It will distract you from an immediate verbal response.

Sorry!!! Wrong thread!!! Toooootally wrong thread!!!