Is this gentlemanly or no?

[Astressedlady]

Hiya all 🖐️😁
Last night i had a Date (2nd) at a guy's house and we got to foolin around (nothing heavy) and he said that he didn't want us to sleep together that night as he had to travel away for work (to France) for a whole month.

We got on so great in what we had in common and chemistry etcetra but i dont know if he is actually interested and being a gentleman or if guys have used this line with someone else before. He does travel away with work a couple times a year as a consultant.

Would really reallly appreciate somw guy's or ladies feedback on this, if possible. Thank you xx

Trying to put myself in his shoes I can only really think of 3 reasons for this

1. he has some kind of sexual dysfunction, but if guy had an erection that probably not it,
2. as only a 2nd date he didn’t want to shag then disappear for a month
3. he using this as some kind of odd test to see if the OP will still be interested when he returns.

But only the guy really knows 🤷🏼‍♂️

It's a terrible idea to up the stakes in a relationship before a month's absence.

I don't know what gentlemanly has to do with it, he's simply being practical and actively managing the relationship in a sensible way.

Surely you wouldn't want to massively increase intimacy with someone who wasn't going to be in a position to continue it, yourself?

@Ifyoudontlikeitdosomethingelse

Men who sleep with women on the 2nd date are only after one thing. Men who don't sleep with you are assholes... So fucking glad I'm not a man trying to navigate my way through dating women.

At no point I've said this guy is an ass, my gut feeling is that he's being decent but I was keen to see if this has happened to other women or if guys have invited a woman round on a second date and then not slept with the woman.

Genuinely curious, no judgement on men or women or those who sleep with someone or don't etc.

but I was keen to see if this has happened to other women or if guys have invited a woman round on a second date and then not slept with the woman

I can’t recall inviting a woman to mine on a 2nd (or 3rd) date, but have had 1st, 2nd, 3rd & 4th dates that have not ended with sex, (in fact most of dates have not ended with sex ), 😩

@Astressedlady

I think you should take it at face value and see what happens when he's back. Ultimately, none of us know if he has ulterior motives or not.

If he calls you and sets up another date then great - if he doesn't, then you have your answer.

I think this thread has probably caused you more angst when I suspect you were more after idle musings!

[quote Bobsyer]@Astressedlady

I think you should take it at face value and see what happens when he's back. Ultimately, none of us know if he has ulterior motives or not.

If he calls you and sets up another date then great - if he doesn't, then you have your answer.

I think this thread has probably caused you more angst when I suspect you were more after idle musings![/quote]
V, v true!

It started as a genuine curiosity but it seems to have snowballed into it seeming like I've got a low opinion of men! I love men 😎