OLD - what is up with this?

[IdrisArslanian]

I started OLD and have a decent number of matches via Bumble. But three of the men have done the same thing:they "like" my profile, I "like" them back, then when I follow up with a thoughtful but easy question regarding something in their profile or photos (i.e. not just, "Hi, how was your weekend?"), I get very short, to the point answers with no questions for me. This is Bumble, so the woman has to initiate the conversation. Their answers are polite, but just not inviting further conversation (at least in my interpretation).

My question is, are they just trying to say "I'm not interested" but don't have the guts to unmatch? Are they stringing me along because they have someone else on the go and want to see what happens there? Or are they such egotistical twerps that they think it is up to me to do all the work at getting a conversation going?

Whatever it is, I find it baffling and annoying. The whole point of OLD is that it cuts to the chase. I don't actually want to just ask random strangers questions about themselves. Should I just unmatch them immediately? I am tempted with the 3rd one to say, "What's the deal? I'm a big girl, you can just unmatch me if you're not interested."

Any views?

It’s the more the actual message she sent back to me

“..I can’t be bothered to talk to you “,

who in their right mind would send that. It takes less effort to do nothing.
Never mind, have just started seeing someone now, and she seems lovely.

@JustAnother0ldMan

It’s the more the actual message she sent back to me

“..I can’t be bothered to talk to you “,

who in their right mind would send that. It takes less effort to do nothing.
Never mind, have just started seeing someone now, and she seems lovely.

Agreed, it's just rude. I sometimes despair of the human race based on OLD experiences!

@LazyMareofEastown

MrsMaizel

"Do you consider a " how's your weekend been?" a lazy question?"

I 100% would not reply to this kind of message. If that's the best first impression you can muster then you're a boring twat categorically not for me.

But like I said, I'm harsh and had very high standards. I was happy to play the long game and wait for a viable suitor to come along 🙂.

Ummmm it wasn't me who asked this .....

I don’t think ‘how’s your weekend been?’ is a lazy opener. I think whoever receives this, male or female, will reply if they’re physically attracted to the person who sent it and ignore if they’re not. Future boring messages may be off putting but I really don’t think that as an opening message has the result some people think it does.

I have totally given up with OLD.
Weirdly a friend of mine is using TikTok like a dating site! Its working well for her, no fees 🤣

I've had a few dates through Bumble since May, and now seeing someone I met there and would call him my boyfriend a month or so in. I wrote a fair bit more than that as my intros - screened out everyone who hadn't filled in their own profile with actual words, and most of the ones with kids in photos. (Fine if someone has kids but not good judgement to have their photos on a dating site).

My predictive text could practically write the couple of paragraphs for me in the end!!! I had some variation, say about the Olympics when they were on, the heatwave etc. I'd try writing more, and broadening your "type" a little. It does take a bit of effort but it means you get someone prepared to write stuff in return.

OLD is brutal OP

It's so brutal out there, it's hard to remain positive, but there are some lovely genuine people on there (me included) who haven't got a choice OLD is the only way I'm meeting anyone - I just don't get opportunities in real life, and I am not using my precious leisure time trying to engineer bump-into-guys situations.
So OLD it is, I've got 30-40 years left to try and find my soulmate!

I had this
And have deleted tinder
I don’t know the reasons for this either !!!

I don’t think lockdown helped either as if they have been online for a while they are presumably used to random chatting and no action

To be honest I think a lot of them want to sext and not actually meet

And brutal yes !
I have had two guys unmatch me when they didn’t like my answer 😀
One online date who didn’t turn up
One online date who questioned my claim of being a non smoker (vaping isn’t smoking !)
One guy who wanted to come to my front door 🚪
4 married men
One nice guy who wanted to meet me again
And one overseas pen pal I’m totally obsessed with and need to exorcise

Hey ho !

@Thisisworsethananticpated

And brutal yes ! I have had two guys unmatch me when they didn’t like my answer 😀 One online date who didn’t turn up One online date who questioned my claim of being a non smoker (vaping isn’t smoking !) One guy who wanted to come to my front door 🚪 4 married men One nice guy who wanted to meet me again And one overseas pen pal I’m totally obsessed with and need to exorcise

Hey ho !

Sorry - vaping is absolutely smoking! I'd be irritated if I met someone who claimed to be a non-smoker and they vaped.

I didn't want Tinder as I thought ir was for just hookups. I tried Eharmony. Initially they blocked me for being Russian!!!!! But then reinstated and gave me a free month. When I was blocked I had no respnses and felt like I had no hope.
I had quite a few messages but was at no point delusional about my attractiveness. E.g. 20 somethings want a shag and an older woman fetish
Sleek sales guys want groomed and polished corporate sales women poss no kid
I am mid 40s with a very good job and an older kid so went for 40s to early 50s professional men.
3 dates- all very nice, attractive professional men. One exceptionally lovely man who I am still seeing.
Tips: no aggressive filtering
Don't pretend to be active and sporty when you're obviously not
No boss babe crap when you sell MLM
If you do a "job" that makes no money they can tell e.g. crystals, homeopath, jewellery designer, yogi.
No corporate speak

So realise post was poss unnecessarily twattish. Just have girlfriends still on the apps after being on ages and in both cases becoming increasingly angry at men but utterly unrealistic as to who will be a good match with them and be attracted to them back.

Rozziie
Ok !!!! 🙈.

Znaika your post wasn’t twattish
But yeah I came off as it wasn’t making me happy, and agree with the angry
I don’t need more anger !!!

I’d rather wank frankly
And keep my eyes wide open in RL