Am I overreacting - child's dad doesn't know when their birthday is

[Rosequartz7]

I don't know how to feel at all!
Ex P (split when child a baby) awful to me, a shit dad when child younger, child refused to see him so hasn't for about 6 years (their mental health has steadily improved since), Ex done nothing over the years to mend this, except send me horrible messages about what a moral and parental failure I am for not doing what he wants and piss me around with maintenance to the point I had to get CMS to take it out his wages.
Still everything is all my fault of course, despite his behaviour toward us both. Whatever.

For years I've suspected he doesn't actually know when DC's bday is (despite being at the actual birth) , never get a card on the actual bday just a random (never an actual birthday design) one around that time.

DC bday has been and gone and we didnt hear anything (used to this).

He's messaged this morn for the first time in years asking me to tell DC happy birthday from him and when can he call them to wish them happy birthday today.

I honestly don't know what to reply. I've been trying to think of something all day but can't find any words. I have to send something or I'll get shit for "not encouraging DC to be in contact with him" and the accusations will start again. DC has confirmed they do not want to speak to him, "like, ever again".
Tbh I'm fucking fuming. Is this an overreaction? What do I even say to someone that doesn't know when their own childs bday is? I have no idea! I need some perspective. Help!

OMFG that is shocking.

Just politely reply with thanks, it was on this date.

I know a man who doesn't see his own kids and didn't know how old they were. I've decided he is a shit parent based on that alone.

Tell him can ring on the child’s birthday. And don’t tell him when that is. What an embarrassing burden to have for a ‘parent’.

I would not respond at all.

PepsiHoover that is awful! I just don't know how you could possibly not know that! They must have to be so far from your mind for so many years to be able to forget things like that

Reply and say ‘it’d probably be more appropriate to ring on their actual birthday?’

I'd let him FaceTime the child and let him embarrass himself in front of them.

I'd tell him , you can call next year on their actual birthday 🙄🙄

Why you respond at all, and why you haven't blocked this useless idiot, is beyond me.

Not excusing this guy as he sounds like a prize twat all round, but I can confirm after decades of working in a job where I need to take dates of birth as a matter of course that he is definitely not alone in being a Dad who doesn't know his kids DOB off the top of his head (and many of these are present and involved family Men).

The problem gets worse exponentially with amount of children they have.

Ps. I'd reply saying 'His/Her birthday was [insert period of time] ago. Try again next year'

I'd reply with just 'it was their birthday on the 1st', or whatever date. You've made the situation clear then. And yes it's shit not to know.

Just say "we look forward to your call in 330 (or whatever) days. Let me know what time you will ring."

Child hasn't wanted to speak to him for many years now. So I always have to politely decline in a way that doesn't start the nastiness and accusations of being a horrendous parent and a terrible human being because I respect (and completely understand!) my child's position. So I have to basically say no, child doesn't want to speak to you, and something about him having the wrong day. Embarrassing burden is indeed the word, NowEvenBetter

'Hi xxxx(knob) your dc birthdate is xx-yy-zz'
and then block immediately.

Block him?

Well my ex doesn’t know our kids birthdays either, he also sent a birthday card for our child with the wrong kids name on 😳 it wasn’t even one of our kids names 😂

How far off is he?

PumpkinKING Fucking helllll . Wow. No words.

Just put erm...it's not his birthday. Think you've got the wrong kid dickhead.

"Have you texted the right person as (name)'s birthday has been and gone."

If they don’t see him and don’t want to why dont you just block the twat

I’d also say, have you got the right child ?

ickiness it's always felt like that was the wrong thing to do? IDK why.

@AttilaTheMeerkat

I would not respond at all.

Absolutely this^. Why haven’t you blocked him?

My daughter is 18 and never received a card. Madness.