When my brothers and I were kids, my aunt, my father's sister, used to do childcare for us. She would pick us up from school and mind us until my parents picked us up. We loved her like a second mother. (She couldn't have kids, so we were her kids, more or less.)
She's now well into her 80s and is suffering from dementia. She often talks about "her children" (my brothers and I). She lives at home with her husband, my uncle F (whole other story). When I visit, she knows who I am, and who my daughter is, more or less.
The last time we visted them was with my father, and my father now says he doesn't want to bring my daughter (his GD) to see them anymore because he feels that my uncle F has made inappropriate remarks that he doesn't want my daughter exposed to anymore.
Among the remarks my father found really inapproiate were "you'll stay with me tonight and I'll give you your shower".
F has never been known to be inappropriate with children in the past and was never inappropriate with me that I recall. I think it's just age-related dementia, tbh. He's 89 and suffering from bad physical and mental health.
I'm torn as to what to do. What F says is inappropriate, but...my child is 5 and thinks he's just kidding. He is just kidding as far as she's concerned...she thinks he's hilarious. He would never ever be alone with her.
F is almost certainly going to die in the next year or so. My aunt will probably live a bit longer as she's perfectly healthy, despite having dementia.
If F hadn't been inappropriate, I would be out there very often with DD..
How much seriousness would you give to this, honestly? I can't decide if I'm under- or over-reacting. DD hasn't a clue that what he's saying is inappropriate, and honestly don't think either he or my aunt do either.