Who should pay?

WhoppingBigBackside · 07/09/2021 13:08

Could you swap the bedrooms around so that DD and 'DSD' have a bigger bedroom?

Bananarama21 · 07/09/2021 13:11

Alot of factors here one being that if you split and he's paid for an renovation you will benefit for with it being your house. I would swap the biggest bedroom and put your ds in the smaller room.

thenewduchessofhastings · 07/09/2021 13:11

You should pay as it's your house and you stand to gain from the increase in value another room downstairs adds (and tbh I don't actually know anyone who has a garage and uses it for anything other than storage anyway) however he should be paying you rent for himself and his DC.

Once the garage is converted and plastered;he should foot the cost of wallpaper,carpet,curtains,furniture etc for that room as it's only there because of his DC.I'd say that's fair.

Original poster

Rainbowchoc · 07/09/2021 13:12

To be honest DD and DSD don't really enjoy sharing anyway and to force my DD to do this every weekend I wouldn't really be comfortable with, when there are other options.

OP posts:

HollowTalk · 07/09/2021 13:14

Does your partner pay rent for living there? If not, was he paying rent previously? I am not somebody who thinks that a boyfriend should live rent free!

Original poster

Rainbowchoc · 07/09/2021 13:16

He is splitting the bills with me but not the mortgage, so he doesn't pay any rent. He is still paying half the mortgage on a house he owns with his DD mum. She can't afford to buy him out and he can't force the sale until their DD is 18.

OP posts:

Bananarama21 · 07/09/2021 13:18

I second what the pp you need to pay the costs of the conversion as you stand to benefit with it being your home and increase the value of your house but that your dp pay fpr the furniture, wallpaper etc

Pinkbonbon · 07/09/2021 13:18

I agree with pp that it's your cost to lay as it's your property. However it would be nice of him to contribute something. Perhaps the money towards furnishing it.

Tbh though op if I were you I would hold off for a bit before spending a ton if money. Make sure that all the other aspects of living together are ok. You might get 6 months down the line and decide you dont live well together.

Bollindger · 07/09/2021 13:23

I think you agree to pay 50/50 as the room is for his DD not yours. so the only reason your doing it is for his child.
You tell him that once it is done, he pays to decorate it to her taste.
If you break up, you agree a payment plan for him to be refunded half the final cost.
Or he pays for all of it as he doesn't pay any rent and so is saving money on that.

Glitterandunicorns · 07/09/2021 13:26

I think it should probably be you paying for a conversion, but I don't think it's a good idea to do it now.

As a PP has said, you should wait some months while you figure out you can happily live together before spending a load of money on this.

How long have you and your partner been together?

I'm afraid I don't understand why he's not paying rent to live at your house? Ok, he has to pay half the mortgage of his child's mother's house, but he'd have to pay rent if he wasn't living with you.

That being said, although it should be your cost to pay for renovations, it's a bit much to expect him to move in rent-free (ok, he pays half the bills, but still) then have you fund building works to accommodate his daughter.

A compromise could be that you split the cost of renovations 50-50, but his contribution is ring fenced so that if you split, he can have his half of the costs (not half of the property value increase) back.

Sneesher · 07/09/2021 13:26

As the house is fully owned by you and he has no financial interest in it I think you should pay 60%, he should pay 40%.

GreyCarpet · 07/09/2021 13:27

You might need legal advice. My mum was advised that allowing a man she moved into to the house she owned outright in her name only to make any improvements, inc decorating, anything would would him to make a claim in the property at a later date.

GreyCarpet · 07/09/2021 13:27

*Would allow

thenewduchessofhastings · 07/09/2021 13:32

@Rainbowchoc

He is splitting the bills with me but not the mortgage, so he doesn't pay any rent. He is still paying half the mortgage on a house he owns with his DD mum. She can't afford to buy him out and he can't force the sale until their DD is 18.

Oh Rainbowchoc;you've got yourself abit of a cocklodger situation

We see this over and over again here:broke man with failed marriage find financially solvent woman he move in with and move out of family member house eg parents they've been living with in the meantime.Woman then ends up having to help said man help co parent their child

Billandben444 · 07/09/2021 13:41

I would hold off doing any alterations tbh. If you have a long-term future together then you might think about renting your house out and getting somewhere bigger? Always put your own children and their feelings first as they won't thank you if you don't - have you known him long?

DiscoLightsOnAFridayNight · 07/09/2021 13:43

NO NO NO NO NO

Sorry to shout OP but I wanted to get your attention; you’ll get a lot of people on here telling he should contribute, it’s only ‘fair’, he’s a cocklodger if he doesn’t etc. The truth is by doing this, you are giving him a possible claim on your house, regardless of the fact it’s just in your name or it predates the relationship etc.

Please get legal advice & don’t listen to novices. There’s also a legal matters board on here which you can post on for my accurate advice as it’s frequented by qualified solicitors.

DiscoLightsOnAFridayNight · 07/09/2021 13:46

*more accurate advice, not ‘my’ accurate advice!! My accurate advice is to see a solicitor to make sure you’re protected

category12 · 07/09/2021 13:56

You need to speak to a professional.

But it's your property/security and you really don't want to open yourself to him having a claim on it by having him pay for improvements.

If you're going all in and pooling joint resources then fine, but still make sure you're secure with proper advice. If you're in a halfway place, with him still having financial ties with his ex and trying not to give him a claim on your place, the extension is going to have to be paid by you.

QueenBee52 · 07/09/2021 13:57

@DiscoLightsOnAFridayNight

NO NO NO NO NO

Sorry to shout OP but I wanted to get your attention; you’ll get a lot of people on here telling he should contribute, it’s only ‘fair’, he’s a cocklodger if he doesn’t etc. The truth is by doing this, you are giving him a possible claim on your house, regardless of the fact it’s just in your name or it predates the relationship etc.

Please get legal advice & don’t listen to novices. There’s also a legal matters board on here which you can post on for my accurate advice as it’s frequented by qualified solicitors.

yip definitely get legal advice

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 07/09/2021 14:03

Make it more of a play room with a sofa bed. All the dc get to enjoy it then and if you pay you get all the financial gain of you sell. His dd shouldn't be costing YOU for a bedroom of her own eow...

Quartz2208 · 07/09/2021 14:05

Yes you need legal advice because it could give him further rights down the line

Glitterandunicorns · 07/09/2021 14:14

Great point. Def see a solicitor first.

In the meantime, he needs to start paying rent, stat.

Anordinarymum · 07/09/2021 14:20

@Rainbowchoc

My partner has recently moved into my home. I have two DC and he has one. It's a 3 bedroom house and so when his DC is over for the weekend she has to share with my youngest daughter but there isn't really the space for them both in my daughters small bedroom. His daughter can't share with my older son.

We are considering converting part of my garage into a bedroom for his daughter when she stays over. My house is mortgaged and in my name only. How do you think this garage conversion should be funded? Should I pay as it's my house? Should he pay as I am doing it for his daughter or should we split the cost 50-50?

So he's moved in with you into your home. He's paying a mortgage on another home. When that home is finally sold will be be giving you a sum to cover the rent he is not paying to live in your home?

That's it really in a nutshell.
He should be paying you rent OP

Manonymous · 07/09/2021 14:27

Adding an extra bedroom is usually profitable because it adds more value to the house than the work costs. So it makes sense for you to pay and not give him any financial interest in the house. However, as others have said, you need proper advice.

When you say he pays half the bills, do you mean that literally? Are the bills in joint names and he has a direct debit to pay half? Or do you just mean that he's giving you money equivalent to half the bills? If things go sour he could claim that he thought he was giving you the money for half the mortgage rather than the bills and so is entitled to half the equity accrued since he moved in. Best to get legal advice on this part too.

fuzzymoomin · 07/09/2021 14:35

If you do a conversion into a bedroom that's also a hangout space then all of the DCs can make use of it - step child when she stays over, your DCs when they have friends for sleepovers. In this case I think you should pay - your house, your conversion, your benefit.
However if I was you I'd be giving serious consideration about whether to lay out such an large expense when DP has only recently moved in. Is it a solid long-term relationship? How old is his DC - how often does she stay over, how many years is it until she is 18 and the other house can be sold? How old are your kids - how close are they to leaving home and you having a spare bedroom. Do you have separate or shared finances at the moment, do you intend to share finances in future? In which case it doesn't matter who pays. Perhaps you've already considered all of these things.