@Elieza
Sorry that’s happened OP. What a horrible shock
Honestly I think a lot of people have gone a bit different since covid. I know I have not been the same. Perhaps it’s affected her too. And you too if you’re throwing yourself into work too much.
Is it that she’s not in love with you, or is it that the love has become a more deep and different type of love because you’re in a long term relationship? Has she been in one before? Could it be fear that’s making her run?
It’s hard caring for someone. It’s hard taking responsibility for them especially if it’s role reversal. Perhaps it’s just been all too much for her.
Have you had a good, calm, non-blamey talk about everything. It’s such a lot to throw away if she’s just overwhelmed and scared of what the future holds.
Perhaps both of you separately would benefit from online counselling? I’d phone the counsellor from the car or when the other is out so I know I’d not be overheard though!
Would she see a future with you if you had more support while you heal? ie could a more frequent cleaner or deliveroo meals or something make a difference to her if she feels it’s all too much for her?
If you reduced your hours and you spent time doing stuff you both enjoy, within the limits if your current medical condition?
Is she prepared to think about options or is it defo defo over?
Thank you for your kind words.
Honestly I think a lot of people have gone a bit different since covid. I know I have not been the same. Perhaps it’s affected her too. And you too if you’re throwing yourself into work too much
I agree, we've both changed because of Covid. Our early relationship was built on going on incredible adventures and Covid has forced us to stop doing that. But I thought that the time together like this had made us stronger - obviously I was wrong.
Is it that she’s not in love with you, or is it that the love has become a more deep and different type of love because you’re in a long term relationship? Has she been in one before? Could it be fear that’s making her run?
This is what she said this morning. She's not been in a relationship this serious - her longest relationship was two years, it was long distance, and apparently didn't go much further than sex and fun dates when they saw each other. There were no plans for one of them to move closer to the other, and they knew it didn't have a future.
It’s hard caring for someone. It’s hard taking responsibility for them especially if it’s role reversal. Perhaps it’s just been all too much for her
I think you're bang on here. She has ADHD and I was in charge of all things household (as well as being the breadwinner - we have similar earning potential but she's a little behind than me in her career). Since my accident she's had to take over all household stuff. I do what I can logistically but for the first month I was on heavy painkillers and couldn't manage any of it. I know it was hard for her to suddenly be the go-to on household management.
Have you had a good, calm, non-blamey talk about everything. It’s such a lot to throw away if she’s just overwhelmed and scared of what the future holds
I'd like to but right now I keep hearing those words going around in my head. I know she regrets what she said but she still said it 
Perhaps both of you separately would benefit from online counselling? I’d phone the counsellor from the car or when the other is out so I know I’d not be overheard though
This is a really good idea. I'll mention it to her.
Would she see a future with you if you had more support while you heal? ie could a more frequent cleaner or deliveroo meals or something make a difference to her if she feels it’s all too much for her
Just for clarity - she sees a future regardless, it's me that's now not wanting to be with her because I couldn't deal with having someone be with me but not love me anymore. But I think a more frequent cleaner would help yes. We live very rurally so we don't have access to deliveroo but we try to have healthy ready meals to make it less of a burden for her.
If you reduced your hours and you spent time doing stuff you both enjoy, within the limits if your current medical condition
I think we should do this yes. I'm a freelancer so I'm in control of my own workload. Problem is I've very recently taken on new contracts and I don't think I can get out of them, so this might have to wait.
Is she prepared to think about options or is it defo defo over
She is - I'm the one who is scared to after what she said. How am I meant to trust her again if she can say that without thinking about it?