If I described this what would you think…

[donaldbump]

Lack of empathy or regard for how their behaviour may impact someone else
Total disinterest in maintaining relationships with people
No interest in own children or wife
Difficulty wanting to communicate unless had alcohol to drink
Irritable
Highly intelligent
Uses own intelligence to be mean about people less intelligent than themselves
Can spend all day alone
Dislikes or cannot relate to children

I'd think he was a dick

I'd think why did they get married and have kids?

And maybe an over reliance on alcohol depending how frequently they reported to drinking in order to communicate.

Like a very unhappy person.

Sociopathic traits

Difficult to be around

I would think that you met my ex. Condolences.

A lot of what you are listing is highly subjective so it’s impossible to make a judgement. However, you are clearly unhappy so it’s more important to focus on that and decide whether there are deal breakers for your relationship

Sociopath.

Someone who shouldn’t be anywhere fucking near me, and not worth dramatising/normalising with mental illnesses or personality disorders.

Someone not worth your time basically

I've worked with many people like this. It's quite common in technical roles.

It's exhausting to deal with as their manager. If you're in a relationship with someone like this - I don't know. I personally wouldn't.

@BrisbaneandGone

I'd think he was a dick

This - and an egocentric one too.

This could easily describe somebody currently struggling with serious depression; or somebody in a very unhappy marriage they’ve emotionally checked out of; or somebody living with an abusive partner who had ground them down; or somebody with a personality disorder; or somebody quite normal being negatively described as the problem by somebody who is themselves part of the problem but isn’t able to acknowledge it.

Without knowing the person and situation in question, a bunch of strangers on the internet can’t tell you anything meaningful.

If this is your partner, it’s clearly a miserable relationship and you should separate for both of your sakes.

Borderline personality disorder. Possibly narcissistic personality disorder but fewer traits there.

@ComtesseDeSpair

This could easily describe somebody currently struggling with serious depression; or somebody in a very unhappy marriage they’ve emotionally checked out of; or somebody living with an abusive partner who had ground them down; or somebody with a personality disorder; or somebody quite normal being negatively described as the problem by somebody who is themselves part of the problem but isn’t able to acknowledge it.

Without knowing the person and situation in question, a bunch of strangers on the internet can’t tell you anything meaningful.

Well yes... but it's far more likely that he's just a selfish git though.

Uncaring
Unsuitable
Selfish
Unsuitable as a healthy partner
Unsuitable as a healthy parent

Whatever the reason for those traits, they don't justify making other people (especially children) unhappy, unhealthy or unsafe.

Are you the person who started the thread about getting back with their ex?

It’s my father

Someone I wouldn't want to be around

It’s difficult as he is obviously all I’ve experienced as a father. I know he is a different sort of person but I was never sure if he had a label as such eg autistic etc. It’s more complex irl as he does have good traits too but overwhelmingly I see the negative, particularly now I have my own children and I see what my mum puts up with. I used to think his behaviour never affected me but it definitely has on reflection. He was never emotionally available. Or physically really. I feel like I just didn’t have a father. I guess I’m trying to reflect now on how he has impacted on me and trying to understand the type of person he is!

Some positives
He can be funny
He is intelligent and you can have a conversation around topics he wants to have a conversation about
He likes cats! And animals
He does care underneath it all I think. He just doesn’t want to spend any time with his own family (this has been for years and years)
I think he’s just a loner?

I mean I grew up with a narcissist
And there are many traits. Including the intelligence.
Probably someone who had extreme trauma of their own. And couldn’t process it ever.

Avoidant personality?

I see you've met my husband!

Impossible to live with