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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sex.........................

26 replies

Slink · 09/11/2004 15:56

Feel aboit embarresed although i know noone, mmmm anyone who has read my contribution to relationship thread on sex will know that my dh has a low sex drive, well break through, he says he would like me to take lead (at times) thing is coz i have been knocked back many times in his low times i feel out of sorts????? really don't have the confidence to start it ...once you have stopped laughing please give me some advice..........

OP posts:
charliecat · 09/11/2004 15:58

Not laughing, feel the same, havent got the confidence to entice myself into a frenzy

essbee · 09/11/2004 15:59

Message withdrawn

secur · 09/11/2004 16:00

Message withdrawn

bonkerz · 09/11/2004 16:02

SNAP same problem here!

If i initiate sex i get told im hassling him and if i dont then im lazy! i also dont get it at all if i dont ask!

nikkim · 09/11/2004 16:02

stockings and nice underwear- a cliche but it works everytime. I think if you feel sexy you will have more confidence. A tanned body under gorgeous underwear helps minimize any bumps or cellulite etc which again boosts your confidence - as long as it isn't orange. Maybe you could treat yourself to a st tropez!!

Catbert · 09/11/2004 16:05

Go out to dinner, wear no knickers and a skirt... Tell him during your starter...

essbee · 09/11/2004 16:15

Message withdrawn

lou33 · 09/11/2004 16:16

legsy! Essbee was doing that on sat night a young mayaan

fio2 · 09/11/2004 16:17

if he usually moans he is too tired before bed. wake him after a few hours for it

essbee · 09/11/2004 16:18

Message withdrawn

lou33 · 09/11/2004 16:19

i notice everything

Slink · 09/11/2004 19:37

Stockings and all that do nothing for him, Catbert i have never worn knickers (only when i have time of month)

But guess what (god what happens if i meet any of you in a meet up) Just put dd to bed and dh ahas come over got all friskie and wey hey and i took lead after that, he seems quite pleased. He knows how paitent i have been. yeh It has alot to with confidence though glad to hear i am not the only one though thanks for the advice.xxx

OP posts:
morningpaper · 09/11/2004 19:56

I am in a similar boat. Generally I make it clear to DP that I'm happy as long as he brings me to orgasm - I don't care how. That take the pressure off him to 'perform' if you know what I mean.

jojo38 · 09/11/2004 21:50

How about a night in? Do dinner - if you don't normally, then have a takeaway - make it different anyway. Open a bottle or two of wine, or beer, what ever takes your fancy and just relax infront of a video/dvd - if you have sky, try one of the sex titled progs - think they're on lateish. Let the wine take hold and relax.

I have the same probs from time to time... yes, and dh does too. I tend to have a glass or two of wine and take the mood - if I feel like kissing him, I will but differently - slowly and putting my arms around him, feeling his back.. whatever you feel like at the time.

Do you sit together or on separate chairs/sofas? If you sit apart, it can be a factor. Try sitting together.

IF you are both agreeable, try talking about it. Make a date to both sit down and discuss sex. There are many ways of getting back into the swing. Start by just reaching toward each other... not touching (Fully clothed). Take it a step at a time. You could end up killing yourselves laughing or ?????

Even if it doesn't happen on the night planned... don't worry. Best thing is to not really plan - unless you intend doing the step by step thing. It can release some of any inhibitions you both may have.

Good luck hun. There is always the other thing but gets thro batteries at an alarming rate.

morningpaper · 11/11/2004 23:07

JoJo: LOL!

I can recommend various battery operated devices...

Gobbledigook · 11/11/2004 23:19

jojo38 - you could earn a fortune giving that advice!! LOL!!

Gobbledigook · 11/11/2004 23:20

Can I just confess here while we are on the subject - I've never had the need for a 'device' but can't imagine they are any good. Clearly I'm wrong???

WigandRobe · 12/11/2004 10:29

Message deleted

charliecat · 12/11/2004 10:41

You are very wrong. Buy one. A rabbit one.

Gobbledigook · 12/11/2004 11:10

LOL! Really!?!?

charliecat · 12/11/2004 11:11

Definetly

charliecat · 12/11/2004 11:13

This thread may be helpful!

listmaker · 12/11/2004 11:31

I've got a new one which is FAB! It's rechargeable - couldn't afford all the batteries before! It's dinky and just fits on your finger and doesn't look like a penis!! Can't remember the name though - will find out for you all! I love it!

listmaker · 12/11/2004 11:50

It's part of a range recommended by RELATE (apparently) made by Emotional Bliss and you can order them at passion8.com. Try it!

KateandtheGirls · 12/11/2004 12:13

Gobbledigook, did you see this?