We just had an argument and....

[Alwaysad45]

I suddenly couldnt breath. We were screaming at each other and I noticed I couldnt catch my breath inbetween words. I then had to sit down and felt like my throat was closing up. I couldnt breath at all and was gasping for air. It was so scary. Dp continued to argue with me after I was done. It took me about two scary minutes to catch my breath. What happened?

Call woman’s aid

I went to do this before and I was laughed at. According to dp and his family my issues arent serious enough and ill be wasting their time

You're on universal credit and have some savings for emergency bits. You living with his family currently is in a strange way beneficial as you could walk out with baby, present as homeless and you would be prioritised as a mother with a young baby. No ties financially with a mortgage or joint tenancy.

Lots of single parents live using child benefit and universal until they get themselves back to work. Some don't return to work and live using those benefits we are so lucky to have available in this country.

There isn't as much stopping you as you think, there's more support out there for you than you seem to think.

How did they know you were calling women’s aid?

@youvegottenminuteslynn it's a joint claim though

Oh OP I think I know who you are from previous threads 😞

You have to break up with him and get away from this toxic family.

You can't raise your baby to be happy and healthy around that family's toxicity and dysfunction. It's not possible.

[quote Alwaysad45]@youvegottenminuteslynn it's a joint claim though[/quote]
But you won't be worse off financially than now if you change it to a single claim because you'll get some housing support as you'll need housing away from his family's home, without him.

You need to do something you can't carry on like this it's so incredibly unfair on your baby.

@PurpleDaisies I told dp I wanted to leave he said where and he deserves to know since its dc as well, I said refuge and he went and publically announced it to everyone in the house. I then had mil follow me to my car and told me I couldnt take dc from my partner and that they wont take me seriously

@youvegottenminuteslynn oh how sad. Yes it is me again. I'm so very depressed that this has what my life has become. I'm seeking comfort on a website for Pete sake. I wanted more for myself out of life

[quote Alwaysad45]@PurpleDaisies I told dp I wanted to leave he said where and he deserves to know since its dc as well, I said refuge and he went and publically announced it to everyone in the house. I then had mil follow me to my car and told me I couldnt take dc from my partner and that they wont take me seriously[/quote]
But they would take you seriously. Everyone on your other thread told you that. Do you really think that that arsehole's family are reliable sources or genuinely have your best interests at heart?! You cannot go on like this. Your poor baby.

Where do I present myself homeless?

You life is far from over. Take control and stop listening to his family's gaslighting bullshit. They can't stop you from leaving with your child.

Look up reactive abuse.

[quote Alwaysad45]@youvegottenminuteslynn oh how sad. Yes it is me again. I'm so very depressed that this has what my life has become. I'm seeking comfort on a website for Pete sake. I wanted more for myself out of life[/quote]
You can have more though, I promise! You have to do this horrible hard bit now to get freedom and independence and happiness longer term. You can be a mum your daughter is proud of and aspires to be like, you can help shape her into someone who knows abuse is wrong and will not ever stay with someone who treats her poorly.

And get him out of your house.

She followed you because she knew they WOULD take you seriously so she was desperately trying to stop you. It’s them who don’t have a leg to stand on. Please, you need to find support. Call womens aid. Do you have any friends you can talk to?

This is from the citizens advice website:

If you can’t stay in your home because of violence, threats or any other abuse you can apply for homeless help. You can also get help from:
Refuge or Women's Aid on 0808 2000 247 at any time

Please, please, please call them OP.

They will explain every step to you and support you through it. We can support you on here too.

You cannot raise your baby in this family's home, it's an abusive environment.

@Alwaysad45

I have already told him if this happens again that's it I'm out. He is meant to start counselling for his anger. I cant and shouldnt do this anymore for the both of us. I want to be happy

Don't wait till it happens again. Start a plan now and get away from him. I've been in your situation in the past...you can do it