I just need some help working out what's going on. I am a wreck this evening, feel exhausted, can hardly walk, lots of aches and pains and a headache and I feel like this was all brought on by the way my husband has been talking to me and being around me for the past days. This isn't new, it's happened lots, but for some reason I've noticed it more this time. He isn't nice usually, it's a problem, but I am starting to wonder if I'm losing my mind.
He's been talking to me about little things and then sort of rewriting the past to suit his narrative. It really makes me feel like I'm going mad. For example he will come down and make himself a huge plate of buttered bread and then I'll remind him I'm cooking and it's nearly ready -- cooking something we agreed on and talked about, and agreeing on the time. He'll say 'well I didn't know did I - how could I know you were cooking' but the outcome will be he is remorseless. He'll eat the plate of bread and when I underline that the thing we agreed on, that I'm cooking, is nearly ready he'll say he's not a mindreader and then, if pressed further, say I'm controlling. But the thing is we literally will have agreed it together half an hour before
I just made that up as one example (although similar things have happened around meals), but he's doing it with everything. He is making me cancel drinks I organised with friends on the grounds that 'he's busy and it's the first he's heard of it' when I literally stood and talked with him about planning it in (we've got kids and so someone has to stay with them) which he agreed to and I can vividly remember. He'll then say I'm a 'fantasist'' and pursue his plans.
What is this? Why would anyone do this? I really feel on the verge of a breakdown and as if I am going mad. He is not struggling at all and is calm, coping (though starts it up again as soon as he comes back in).