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Original poster

Husband refuses to get Covid Shot

36 replies

SickOfCrap · 25/08/2021 16:59

I'm pregnant, I have asthma and my husband is totally against the Covid Shot... it doesn't matter how much I try to explain to him that yes, he has a choice, but that his choices impact our lives and other people's lives, he won't change his mind.
I got my shots, but my main concern is that we'll have a new born and a senior (my mom) who's gonna help take care of the baby, and he doesn't bother to do what's right! He might be healthy as hell but if he caught that and passes on to less vulnerable people like his baby or my mom, I don't even know what I'd do...

I really don't know what to do and what I want from this post. Just really frustrated and wanted to maybe ask for opinions and advice on how to approach this...

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 25/08/2021 17:00

My dh is the same with the flu jab but happily got the covid jabConfused

heldinadream · 25/08/2021 17:05

You have choices too OP. You could choose not to live with him, refuse to have contact with him, say you're so upset you're even considering a divorce. Up the ante. I'm personally getting mighty pissed off with anti-covid-vaxxers, especially those who think it's ok if they put more vulnerable people at risk.

I'm sorry if my suggestions are no help but if I were you I'd be starting to get really angry and putting down some clear boundaries - you don't do this, these are the consequences.
I sincerely hope you work it out.

GalaxyGirl24 · 25/08/2021 17:28

Hmmm tricky one OP. I personally would be weighing up how much help and support he will be when baby is born versus him having the shot. If the former doesn't outweigh the latter then you may have some hard decisions about the relationship if you're very upset about it...

Neither me or husband have the vaccine yet, we all caught covid when there wasn't a vaccine as did our baby when she was 3 months old.

layladomino · 25/08/2021 17:39

There are three things that concern me about people refusing the vaccine - one is the additional risk they carry to those around them, then there is their abdication of our shared responsibilty to each other, including people we've never met. Thirdly, it's so often tied up with conspiracy theories which are usually laughable and make you question the intelligence of the person.

For all three reasons I don't know if I could continue to respect someone who made that decision.

Gilda152 · 25/08/2021 17:40

It's such a tricky one this as he absolutely has freedom to choose over his own body. Its something we're struggling a bit with here as a family too. My father died of Covid last year, despite this my 19 yo DD doesn't want to have the jab and doesn't think she needs it. I have to respect she has a right over her own body whilst also being really worried. She's not by any means an anti vaxxer I suspect its more to do with not liking needles. It's just a very personal choice :(

layladomino · 25/08/2021 17:41

I'm aware my last response sounded judgemental which I didn't intend, so my apoligies to anyone who is refusing the jab for what they believe to be good reasons.

Colourmeclear · 25/08/2021 17:42

Its a really difficult one. How is he with the rest of the covid stuff? Does he wear face masks, socially distance etc. If it's just the vaccine he won't have but he's super considerate about minimising risk in other ways Thats one thing but if he's blasé about the whole thing then it's a different kind of question.

CornishTiger · 25/08/2021 17:44

What’s his views on other vaccinations

Wolfiefan · 25/08/2021 17:46

He’s being a twit but it’s his choice.
I hope he won’t refuse vaccinations for your baby.
Are your mum and you both vaccinated?

Original poster
SickOfCrap · 25/08/2021 17:57

Mom and I got both of our shots.
He's not anti vaccine, he just says he doesn't think that they had enough time to test it and he's afraid of long term effects. Except for the flu shot and Covid, he takes all his shots, no problem.
He will also not oppose to anything related to the baby. We both had all of our vaccines growing up.
He's not anti Covid or thinks this isn't real. He's been wearing masks and social distancing, sanitizing hads, etc etc all this time.

He'll take time off to help with the baby too.

OP posts:
DGFB · 25/08/2021 18:00

What a fool he is as he will catch Covid, and nobody knows how it will affect them.
I’d be furious as he’s putting loved ones at risk for reasons that aren’t based on science.
But what can you do? I certainly would t be caring for him when he inevitably gets Covid! Ultimately it’s his, selfish choice

LanisHouseLot · 25/08/2021 18:09

Are you possibly overstating the risk your husband poses to you and your mum, given that you're both vaccinated? The benefit of him getting vaccinated will mainly be to himself, not to you - a reduction in severity of symptoms should he get covid. There is some reduction in likelihood of him getting covid but it's not huge, and there is no reduction in likelihood of transmitting it to you if he gets it. It's hard when you have different opinions about important topics, but given any protection it offers is predominantly for him I'd say the risk is his to choose.

Wolfiefan · 25/08/2021 18:10

He needs to look at how they managed to do this so quickly. It’s based on existing research. Not sure why he would refuse the flu jab either. But then I have pretty awful asthma and flu could finish me off.
Does he have any conditions that put him at extra risk from COVID? Would he discuss it with a trusted medical professional.

Applesandbaynay · 25/08/2021 18:15

The reason they develop it so quickly was because

  1. Scientists were already developing corona vaccines from previous outbreaks
  2. They were also working on new ways of developing vaccines more quickly because it’s been predicted for some time that there would be a global health pandemic due to increased global travel/interconnectivity

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/sarah-gilbert-and-catherine-green/id1454408831?i=1000529029184

This podcasts with two women involved in developing the vaccine explains it

Applesandbaynay · 25/08/2021 18:17

Also I don’t know if you have made any decisions about feeding yet but early studies show you pass on the vaccine antibodies through breast milk 👍

Regularsizedrudy · 25/08/2021 18:35

I would ask him what he actually knows about creating and testing vaccines and whether it’s more than the people who create and test vaccines

heldinadream · 25/08/2021 18:54

@Regularsizedrudy

I would ask him what he actually knows about creating and testing vaccines and whether it’s more than the people who create and test vaccines
This is such a good question!

Dammit I've been looking for this question for my own anti-covid-vaxx family member (although I suspect I'll just get a lot of waffle back and he won't even break a sweat).

ThirdElephant · 25/08/2021 19:07

He's not anti vaccine, he just says he doesn't think that they had enough time to test it and he's afraid of long term effects.

Point out that COVID may also have long term effects that we don't know about. In fact, the list of viruses that can have negative effects years after encounter with them is far longer than the list of vaccines that do.

Bigtom · 25/08/2021 19:11

Why are you worried about him not having the Covid vaccine, but not worried that he doesn’t have the flu vaccine?

ThirdElephant · 25/08/2021 19:20

@Bigtom

Why are you worried about him not having the Covid vaccine, but not worried that he doesn’t have the flu vaccine?
This is a good point. I insisted that DH had both when we had newborns in the house.
ThirdElephant · 25/08/2021 19:20

*Not both, the flu vaccine.

It's been a loooooong day!

Namenic · 25/08/2021 19:32

I think the risk your husband poses to you, your mum and your unborn baby (who will be a newborn) depends on a number of factors including:

  1. any medical conditions each of you has and severity.
  2. exposure to covid (does your husband have a public-facing job or wfh? Do you have a public facing role or wfh? What is the population case rate in your area)

Depending on your mum’s age and health conditions, I would potentially be most worried about passing it to her. Personally I would consider going to stay with my mum for the 3rd trimester of pregnancy and shortly after birth.

Original poster
SickOfCrap · 25/08/2021 19:41

@Namenic

I think the risk your husband poses to you, your mum and your unborn baby (who will be a newborn) depends on a number of factors including: 1) any medical conditions each of you has and severity. 2) exposure to covid (does your husband have a public-facing job or wfh? Do you have a public facing role or wfh? What is the population case rate in your area)

Depending on your mum’s age and health conditions, I would potentially be most worried about passing it to her. Personally I would consider going to stay with my mum for the 3rd trimester of pregnancy and shortly after birth.

I would definitely do that but unfortunately that's not an option, as I would have to take a plane because she doesn't live in the country...
OP posts:
Namenic · 25/08/2021 19:45

Could your DH stay with any friends or relatives for your 3rd trimester? Or could he do regular LFTs to mitigate risk (plus reduce exposure by going out less etc)?

AlternativePerspective · 25/08/2021 19:57

Yep, his body his choice. As it would be my body my choice, and I would choose not to go near him if he wasn’t vaccinated.

As for the flu vaccine, the reason why it’s different is because not everyone is vaccinated against flu, because as a population we do have some immunity against flu strains and not everyone is eligible, whereas COVID is a brand new virus and no-one has immunity hence why the whole population have to be vaccinated.

Personally I think that if you’re eligible or considered at risk then you should have the flu vaccine as well, but then I ended up with sepsis and subsequently heart failure because of the flu, so I know what damage it can do in the wrong circumstances.