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Original poster

Is this a weird thing to happen during sex?

45 replies

huffandpuffing · 18/08/2021 15:29

NC for this as I'm embarrassed. I'm a regular poster.

Been with DW 11 years, we're gay. Good marriage, healthy sex life.

We were DTD, nothing out of the ordinary and I was getting quite into it when she suddenly burst out laughing. I was obviously like 'what? What's wrong?' She just carried on laughing, properly had the giggles so I kind of laughed too. When she recovered herself she said 'you weren't half huffing and puffing then' Blush then carried on laughing.

I probably was, but isn't that normal in the throes of passion??

It made me feel really embarrassed and paranoid.

Don't think I can bring it up with her as it will just remind her and make her laugh again.

Am I over thinking this or is that weird?

OP posts:
FelicityBeedle · 18/08/2021 15:35

I often get the giggles during sex or orgasm, not unusual

AryaStarkWolf · 18/08/2021 15:38

I have done if my DH tickled me accidentally but not like you describe, that was an unnecessary thing to say to you even if she thought that, would make you feel very self conscious

girlmom21 · 18/08/2021 15:46

I don't think that's normal to be honest. It'd make me really self-conscious.

Inthesameboatatmo · 18/08/2021 15:52

Getting the giggles in an embarrassing or awkward moment is one thing ,absolutely pissing yourself at your partner's expense is completely another and would make me very self conscious.

MotionActivatedDog · 18/08/2021 15:52

I think it’s normal to get the giggles sometimes during sex. Totally get why it would make you feel self conscious though but I would try and see it for what it was. Just an involuntary fit of the giggles. We all get them at inappropriate moments.

DTW001 · 18/08/2021 16:09

No I don't think you're overthinking this, I would think it's weird too. It's an unnecessary comment which resulted in nothing but making you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable (which just FYI you shouldn't, like you said it's normal). I don't think it's the same as the usual "giggles" that can happen. I would bring it up and explain how it made you feel. Hopefully she will take it seriously and be more conscious of your feelings in future 💜

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 18/08/2021 16:13

Getting the giggles is one thing, but the comment was odd and out of line. That would make me uncomfortable too.

SummerWhisper · 18/08/2021 16:16

It shows you were out of sync with each other. It reads as though she was laughing at you and not with you.

me4real · 18/08/2021 16:17

I don't think that's very nice- like she was mocking you. Did she have the excuse of being drunk, even?

Don't think I can bring it up with her as it will just remind her and make her laugh again.

Does she make a habit of mocking you or making you feel small? Sad That's not right @huffandpuffing xxx

Greystray · 18/08/2021 16:24

It's not on to mock how someone looks during sex. We probably all have moments where we look a bit funny, but you want your partner to be able to let go, not be self consciously monitoring how they look and sound at all times.

It's not you, it's her. She was being a dick.

Nocutenamesleft · 18/08/2021 16:39

I think her comment was out of line.

That would make me feel so self conscious. Good sex is all about letting yourself go. Being totally in the moment and for that to happen. It needs trust. Hugs

Original poster
huffandpuffing · 18/08/2021 16:41

Thank you for the responses, glad people don't think I'm overreacting.

She doesn't mock me but has a bit of a childish sense of humour. For example once I was asleep and she came right up to my face and yelled 'BOO' to wake me up. Doesn't happen often but it's annoying.

I'm paranoid now that I give her the ick Sad

OP posts:
flowerbus · 18/08/2021 16:44

I don’t think you’re overreacting, like you say- huffing and puffing is normal considering the situation.

honeylulu · 18/08/2021 17:18

That is not nice. She was mocking you for enjoying yourself during sex. I would absolutely hate that. I would feel self conscious next time about not getting into it too much ... which would be a bit miserable. Would she rather you laid there stiff and silent as a board?

I would also start to worry about the ick.

What happened after that? Did you continue having sex or was the mood gone for both of you?

SinisterBumFacedCat · 18/08/2021 18:07

Yes, that’s quite cruel. You were enjoying yourself (and her) and she chose to mock you. Odd.

Original poster
huffandpuffing · 18/08/2021 18:21

We carried on after that but I felt really weird and self-conscious which I've never felt with her before.

Not sure what to do because at the moment I definitely don't want to DTD again.

OP posts:
Anothernick · 18/08/2021 18:39

Mmm if this was a one-off event I think it would probably be better to put it behind you and not worry too much. Since you joined in the laughter she might not realise you found it embarrassing. I can recall a few occasions on which my DW has had a fit of the giggles during sex, though she did apologise afterwards for putting me off. But you should let her know that you were not happy - it's very important to discuss your views about sex with your DP just as you discuss other aspects of your relationship.

AtrociousCircumstance · 18/08/2021 18:41

That’s horrible of her. It makes her sound sociopathic tbh as does the shouting boo in your face.

AtrociousCircumstance · 18/08/2021 18:41

I think it’s important she knows just how awkward and unhappy her behaviour has made you and that it’s affected your trust in a future with her.

Aquamarine1029 · 18/08/2021 18:44

For example once I was asleep and she came right up to my face and yelled 'BOO' to wake me up. Doesn't happen often but it's annoying.

That would have been the absolute end of the relationship for me, and I'm not joking. Totally unacceptable and just fucking weird. Who does that?

What she said to you was really not on. I don't blame you for feeling awful about it.

Vallmo47 · 18/08/2021 18:50

You do need to have a quiet word with her about this OP, otherwise she might think it’s acceptable behaviour and do it again. 💗

GertietheGherkin · 18/08/2021 18:58

OP you've been with your DW 11 years... You should feel confident and have the ability to talk to/ discuss anything and everything with her.
If you can't, then there's something definitely wrong. Her making comments to undermine your confidence, and displaying childish humour aren't great.
Are you sure you're with the right person in life?
Not wanting to DTD signifies how hurt and upset you are, not feeling/ wanting to discuss this matter will not help your relationship. It will lead to questions eventuality, so I'd bite the bullet and discuss how you're feeling.
If it's met with ridicule or humour, I'd be re-thinking about your relationship.

Colourmeclear · 18/08/2021 20:04

Communication around sex is so important. It sounds like you expect her to dismiss your feelings which speaks of something bigger than this incident. It might feel like she was laughing at you but perhaps it was just the situation. I think you'll get more clarity if you speak to her although I know that will be very hard for you.

billy1966 · 18/08/2021 20:11

She sounds unpleasant.

Her remark was unkind.

You are correct to question her behaviour.

Isthisit22 · 19/08/2021 07:06

Surely if you've been together 11 years you can talk about this?