How do you create a good marriage?

[Winenota]

Just that really. With all the stress of crap job, elderly relatives, illness, teens, money..how do you create and maintain a good partnership that may even nurture you? Is it even possible?

Just reporting back to say thank you, I’ve been keeping quiet when I would have been picky doing the shopping, and I’ve been super encouraging and trying to be warmer. I think it’s working! He in return seems a lot more relaxed. Early days but I’m hopeful! Thank you x

Love, respect and support one another through the good, bad and everything in between, not just when it's convenient.

Be aware that marriages have ups and downs. A few months ago we had a row over his (inadvertent) selfishness and he said that he wished we'd never got married, this was our worst row ever. He then started going me stuff when he went shopping, little things like sugar free sweets, and fillings for my sandwiches. We went away for our 33rd wedding anniversary and I noticed him looking at me. I asked him why he was looking at me and he said that it was because he loves me.

Aww goose1964, that’s lovely.

I actually disagree with "don't go to bed angry"
Sometimes it's good to sleep on it because in the morning you tend to realise it was trivial or you forget what the argument was even about.

I agree @Elsajk
'Sleeping on it' makes sense for a lot of people. Many folk need time to think things over and calm down / not respond in the heat of the moment.

Overall, I think Communication is key.
Compromise and working at it when things are tough. I think it would be unusual for people to live together over several decades and meet all the challenges life throws at you, and all the changes life brings and not have differences of opinion and disagreements at times - the crucial thing is how you work through those difficult times.

That makes sense. I think it’s important to think before reacting. Though that can be hard!