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Original poster

3rd date with a potential relationship guy - will I hint qt him picking me up?

57 replies

Sarz1991 · 17/08/2021 15:54

OK so first off, I have decided that I am not going to directly ask him to pick me up based on the fact that he lives an hour from me and it is only going to be our 3rd date.

However it is looking like we could be on the track to a potential relationship because we have both gotten on so well, he is hugely into me and I fancy him too, but this date will definitely be the decider as to whether I want this as much as he does, because I don't want to go through another relationship where I just settled and never fully fancied the guy from the start!

So is it ok to give hints or give a feel as to whether he'd like to pick me up?. Or should I just directly ask him? Or should I just see if he asks me? The date will consist of dinner first and then the cinema. He gave me another option of a dinner and then a walk on the beach but I chose the first one as I do enjoy the cinema and it might make me less nervous about kissing him as we were still to nervous to kiss on our last 2 dates.🙈

OP posts:
StarryStarrySocks · 17/08/2021 15:57

Why would he need to pick you up? Can you not get yourself to the date venue? Confused

Lampan · 17/08/2021 15:59

I don’t understand. Do you mean so he has to drop you off home too and come in? If you want that just ask him back to yours. But why can’t you get yourself to the date? Why should be take a hint to pick you up? I always found it a real dealbreaker if people aren’t independent enough to get themselves around etc

Mexicantahoe · 17/08/2021 16:01

@StarryStarrySocks

Why would he need to pick you up? Can you not get yourself to the date venue? Confused
That's what i thought too. I wouldn't want anyone coming to my house at 3 dates!
rumred · 17/08/2021 16:02

I find hints very off putting. Just be honest. It's confusing for the other person otherwise

OhThatChicken · 17/08/2021 16:08

Why would you want/expect him to go an hour out of his way to pick you up before a date? Presumably it's somewhere you can get to ok?

If the date finished late at night and transport was slightly dodgy/slow and he offered a lift home that sounds fairer but then there's the whole 'is he coming in after'.

I think expecting him to drive an hour out of his way on a third date is a bit unreasonable.

Mexicantahoe · 17/08/2021 16:10

Why don't you offer to pick him up. Equal opportunities and all.

girlmom21 · 17/08/2021 16:12

What happens if the date goes badly?
I'd just meet him there...

SmileyClare · 17/08/2021 16:14

It sounds as though you're setting up some sort of test for him? You want him to offer to drive a 2 hour round trip and will only subtly allude to it by dropping hints?

It's a bit strange really! What if he starts hinting that he wants you to pick him up? Grin

SmileyClare · 17/08/2021 16:16

Are you thinking that he's only "serious relationship material" if he's prepared to chauffeur you around?

gogohm · 17/08/2021 16:29

Is the date venue near you? Otherwise to me that's a signal you are inviting him back to yours. I invited dp to dinner at mine on our third dateGrin. The rest is history

Chailatteplease · 17/08/2021 16:31

I don’t get it, why do you want him to pick you up?

LittleRedPill · 17/08/2021 16:35

You barely know him. The safest and most sensible thing is to get yourself to and from the date just in case he turns out to be a massive weirdo.

However, if you do want him to pick you up, just ask him. I have literally no patience for coy hints. You’re an adult, if you want him to pick you say ‘please can you pick me up on the way?’

FOJN · 17/08/2021 16:37

It's really not clear what the significance of him picking you up is? You are clearly able to get yourself places so I would do that.

If you want the opportunity to invite him back to yours you can still do that whether he picks you up or not. There is no need to be coy if you want to have sex with him, it's allowed and completely normal.

If that's not your reason then I'm confused.

RevolvingPivot · 17/08/2021 16:45

How did you meet? Through friends / family /work or is this some stranger you met online?

If it's the latter do you really want some random to know where you live??

Flowers500 · 17/08/2021 16:51

I really don’t understand why some women paint “I want a guy who is desperate and willing to do pointless tasks to get laid” as a positive aspiration… if you have zero respect for his time, don’t bother dating him. I wouldn’t do a fourth date with anyone who valued my time so poorly

Unanananana · 17/08/2021 16:53

Why can't you get yourself to the venue?

Lampan · 17/08/2021 17:11

I agree with @Flowers500

OP there’s a good chance that by doing this you will put him off anyway. If you like him you should tread carefully

Canigooutyet · 17/08/2021 17:12

Nothing worse than dropping hints. All it does is create issues because people are not mind readers.
Asking straight out tells you more about people

boohhooy · 17/08/2021 17:16

If it doesn't go well then him having to drop you home will be awkward. You can be thinking of having sex on the third date if you haven't kissed yet ? That would be 0-100. If it goes ok then ask him to come over to stay the night at some point, hinting is confusing.

Seafog · 17/08/2021 17:17

Of you want a grown up last relationship, just talk with him, don't play games

RevolvingPivot · 17/08/2021 17:18

I think he will assume you want sex. That's fine if you do but do you?

Opentooffers · 17/08/2021 17:26

What a strange way you have of measuring up of relationship potential. It's really not a yardstick that people normally go by, so, it is strange to be asking about it.

ImitationofBeing · 17/08/2021 17:32

Is collecting you a test? If he knocks twice do you dump him but marry him if its loud one knock?

MrsPumpkinSeed · 17/08/2021 17:34

Why not just say 'you can pick me up if you like?'

SynchroSwimmer · 17/08/2021 17:37

Apologies, missing the point, but I thought I was in a time warp.
This is exactly how it was back in 1973, reading the problem page in Jackie Magazine...😉