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Original poster

3rd date with a potential relationship guy - will I hint qt him picking me up?

57 replies

Sarz1991 · 17/08/2021 15:54

OK so first off, I have decided that I am not going to directly ask him to pick me up based on the fact that he lives an hour from me and it is only going to be our 3rd date.

However it is looking like we could be on the track to a potential relationship because we have both gotten on so well, he is hugely into me and I fancy him too, but this date will definitely be the decider as to whether I want this as much as he does, because I don't want to go through another relationship where I just settled and never fully fancied the guy from the start!

So is it ok to give hints or give a feel as to whether he'd like to pick me up?. Or should I just directly ask him? Or should I just see if he asks me? The date will consist of dinner first and then the cinema. He gave me another option of a dinner and then a walk on the beach but I chose the first one as I do enjoy the cinema and it might make me less nervous about kissing him as we were still to nervous to kiss on our last 2 dates.🙈

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 17/08/2021 17:41

Hints are wet.

category12 · 17/08/2021 17:42

Is this so you can get him back to yours for a shag?

I'm sure if you say that, he'll be up for it. Grin

SmileyClare · 17/08/2021 19:26

I'm trying to think how you would actually hint at him picking you up without saying it?

  1. I don't know what to do, I might not come if I have to get a train.
  2. If only I had a chauffeur..
  3. My legs are so tired, I'm not sure I can get to the bus stop..
  4. I think it's romantic when a man drives two hours for a date..
  5. Have you just filled your petrol tank up...there's an offer on petrol at the garage near me?
ILoveCrap · 17/08/2021 19:26

If you want him to pick you up just ask him… why do you want him to pick you up though?!

You’re overthinking this massively.

category12 · 17/08/2021 19:28

I think she must want him to pick her up and drop her back in order to be able to invite him in.

Percypigg · 17/08/2021 19:45

God its so confusing yet so simple at the same time.

Pinkbonbon · 17/08/2021 19:47

I dont think I'd want some guy I had only had 2 dates with knowing where I live.

Go in a few more dates first.

bettertimesarecomingnow · 17/08/2021 20:08

Well we were engaged on our third date so I don't think I'd worry about him knowing where you live.

Is the venue in your town and he's driving to you for the date? If so, yeah I'd ask him to come and pick you up. He should really be offering tho!

If the venue is in his town; hop on the bus lazy pants!!!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 17/08/2021 20:16

Well we were engaged on our third date so I don't think I'd worry about him knowing where you live.

Were you really?! Did you know each other beforehand? Blimey!

SmileyClare · 17/08/2021 20:29

I'm intrigued too. Did he turn up with a ring on your third date and actually propose marriage? Shock

RevolvingPivot · 17/08/2021 21:00

@bettertimesarecomingnow

Well we were engaged on our third date so I don't think I'd worry about him knowing where you live.

Is the venue in your town and he's driving to you for the date? If so, yeah I'd ask him to come and pick you up. He should really be offering tho!

If the venue is in his town; hop on the bus lazy pants!!!

Because that's so normal 😳. Just because you did it doesn't mean the op should.
girlmom21 · 18/08/2021 06:57

@bettertimesarecomingnow

Well we were engaged on our third date so I don't think I'd worry about him knowing where you live.

Is the venue in your town and he's driving to you for the date? If so, yeah I'd ask him to come and pick you up. He should really be offering tho!

If the venue is in his town; hop on the bus lazy pants!!!

I'm guessing you were long distance for a long time?
Sally2791 · 18/08/2021 07:09

You sound a bit over invested for a third date. If you would like to have sex then suggest it, but don’t give odd hints about lifts. Probably better to see how things pan out over a few more dates, and travel independently.

SD1978 · 18/08/2021 07:26

Where is the venue you're going to? Is it an equal distance away? Would a lift also be then be an opportunity for you to initiate sex? Hints are ridiculous, if you want a lift, ask. Although I don't see why you can't get yourself to the venue and see if he offers you a lift home.

Milomonster · 18/08/2021 07:53

This is odd. Why would you want him to pick you up? What is this a test of? If you need him to pick you up, what else will you be requiring him to do. Too much head fuck IMO.

AllAroundTheWorldYeah · 18/08/2021 07:57

I think "picking me up" is slang for initiating sex

WaterBottle123 · 18/08/2021 08:41

Just drive yourself?

ApolloandDaphne · 18/08/2021 08:45

What are the distances involved? How will you get to the date venue?

SoupDragon · 18/08/2021 08:48

I would want to get myself there to ensure I had an easy escape route!

BIWI · 18/08/2021 08:53

AS shows that you are constantly trying to second guess this man (or any other date) without actually communicating clearly yourself.

Stop hinting about things - and above all take a step back and relax for goodness sake!

I wonder if you're quite ready to start dating yet?

Original poster
Sarz1991 · 18/08/2021 16:11

OK I actually totally regret sending that message! There is no way in hell I would ask him to pick me up seen as its only the 3rd date and he lives an hour from me. I really didn't think it through! Don't hate on me!! And no it's not for sex! I am hoping this will develop into a relationship.

However I now know why I would love if he offered to pick me up -(just to clarify , he is extremely into me, definitely more than I am into him FOR THE MOMENT ANYWAY! But I definitely I am attracted to him as I get butterflies when I think about him or kidding him!)

So back to why I would like for him to pick me up but I expect he might not which is absolutely fine....I am sooo nervous about kissing him and because we are going out for dinner while watching a hurling match (we are both into hurling so this is a good date for me😁) , I know that a few glasses of wine would loosen me up. I'd I'm being honest, being in an 8 year relationship with a guy who I never really truly fancied from the start has not had the best effect on my kissing skills, particularly over the final few years of our relationship. The only good thing about it is that I was always a good kisser before I met my ex ( I had been told all the time before ye all jump in and wonder how I would know this😄). So yeah possibly a silly scenario that's playing out in my head but it just doesn't help when he's as nervous as me and doesn't instigate the kiss. However I did tell him after our last date that I wanted to kiss him and fancied him so the fact that he knows for definite now maybe he might lean in🤞😄

OP posts:
Gilda152 · 18/08/2021 16:24

Pick you up...like in a horse drawn carriage with a chaperone? What am I missing here?!!

AllAroundTheWorldYeah · 18/08/2021 16:27

If you want to drink then I don't understand why you don't just use public transport or taxis?

SmileyClare · 18/08/2021 16:28

Nope, I'm still completely in the dark as to why you wanted him to pick you up. Grin Something to do with a scenario you'd imagined? You thought it would be romantic to kiss on your doorstep or something?

Anyway enjoy the hurling! Try to be honest with him and open up. If you're going to kiss, I'm sure it'll naturally happen.

RevolvingPivot · 18/08/2021 16:28

Do you mean if you were sat in his car you could kiss rather than do it in public?

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