Is abusive behaviour always abuse?

[Completelybewildered]

Is abusive behaviour always abusive? If someone whose behaviour would be regarded as abusive is alleging that they are not trying to behave in a way that hurts the other person or their DC , how should the situation be addressed?

@HumdrumGuga

I know it doesn't help just now but one day you will be free from the anxious feelings and be at peace in your own space, it will feel so good (left abusive exh 7 years ago)

@HumdrumGuga so happy to were able to leave your abusive ex and heal.

Sadly due to the dc, I feel I will never be truly free from him, more so until the youngest is 18. I’m not sure if the cut off in the UK is 12 or 13 but I’m led to believe that the dc can have a say in who to live with at that point and have that taken into account in the family court. He would manipulate things to try and have the dc stay with him full time once they hit the cut off. Not having the dc with me would destroy me and I don’t think being without their mum would be in there best interests either. I hate that so many of us end up in this situation. Or should I really be saying, I hate that there are so many abusive people in the world.