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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Horrible weekend of arguing

57 replies

Mosschopz · 08/08/2021 21:40

It’s been a horrible 48 hours. We went out Friday night for dinner (me, DH, DS (10)) and had an argument at the table (after a few drinks) in the restaurant over something and nothing then fast forward to this morning and we are arguing again and then an awful evening tonight. Tonight we went out for a walk, which turned into pre dinner drinks, which turned into dinner and more drinks out. I had about 2 pints, DH had three if it matters, then we agreed DH would supervise DS’s shower while prepared him supper. While I was doing supper, DH (who admittedly got the worse job; DS always moans about washing) started to lose his temper and shout repeatedly at DS who in turn got hysterical. It ended up with DH ‘tapping’ him which DS said had been a hit to the back of the head. He came running downstairs and said ‘what just happened?’ He was bewildered then started telling me daddy had hit me on my head. DH just minimised it, saw it as me taking sides…DS’s behaviour had been bad…he was lying about being hit…when I tackled him on it. DS didn’t want him to come up and say good night and that’s my fault too apparently. I’m so frustrated tonight I just want to leave…

OP posts:

Frauhubert · 09/08/2021 08:32

sake and living not Loving !

Muckles · 09/08/2021 08:36

Stop getting pissed and arguing in front of your child.

DinosaurDiana · 09/08/2021 08:38

I feel sorry for your DS. Quit drinking - both of you - and put him first.

Onelifeonly · 09/08/2021 08:38

I presume the shower supervision was because your DS won't wash if left unsupervised. In that scenario, it helps to ask what is the worst that could happen...in this case, DS goes unwashed. That is preferable to your DH losing his temper and hitting him. So one thing for you to discuss as a couple is strategies when these kind of things happen, if they are common occurrences.

Drinking is another, as you mention it yourself. And personally I'd be totally pissed after 2 pints.

But underlying all this is why you are arguing in the first place. Most, if not all, couples argue from time to time, but your post suggests it has got out of control, and you aren't able to resolve things.

Counselling could help with this, or possibly a parenting course, depending on the issues involved.

I think some responses here are OTT. Family life can be stressful for many but there are solution if you both want to work on them, that don't necessarily involve splitting up. (At 10 your child is highly likely to blame themselves if you do.)

NautaOcts · 09/08/2021 08:40

Was thinking your poor ds - just after the first night of his parents getting pissed and having a fight at the table in the restaurant. Nice.

ittakes2 · 09/08/2021 08:54

I am wondering if this is a real post. Who posts their drinks consumption in such detail without considering that the drink might be part of the problem.

ActonSquirrel · 09/08/2021 09:09

@ittakes2

I am wondering if this is a real post. Who posts their drinks consumption in such detail without considering that the drink might be part of the problem.

Alcoholics? Some of them genuinely have no idea their drinking is a problem

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