For those three days he could instead pay you double the wage you'd get in that job, the money being put into a new separate bank account.......no?
Seems like he's got used to having a wife at home OP, and he was always more traditional than you realised.
I don’t feel it’s fair that I’m relying on him to pay everything (then he has a go at me for spending it!)
Says he’s earning for the house and family and that I keep spending it. I would just add that I spend it on paying the bills and groceries etc, never on things for me (I use my savings for anything I want but now my savings are running short) he has several savings accounts with healthy balances
Yes, you keep spending it because that's what's necessarily in running a household....it costs money.
There isn't equality in this marriage. If you have had to dip into your savings every time you wanted something for you, and you were at home taking care of the house and child, then your husband doesn't see you as a team, at all. He's very much puts his own interests first, whilst you have to fight to get yourself heard. There's no togetherness, no team work in that. Those kinds of people don't event understand the concept of 'team' - they are the centre of the universe and everybody else just fits around them somehow.
I've read many disturbing posts on Mumsnet, but one of the saddest is of a woman whose husband would not pay for her £40 winter coat, or there were arguments about it at least. £40 won't buy anyone a decently warm winter coat unless you're very lucky in the sale, but that was too much for him.
If he's giving you money but doing so begrudgingly and then having a go at you of spending 'his' money, if he doesn't take time off because he'll lose money.....then it sounds to me like he values his money more than you and his child. I can understand his attitude if you were both on the breadline or pretty poor, but if you are comfortably off then I just don't think he cares about you as much as you might think he does. Ask yourself, are his actions those of a husband who cares about the wellbeing of his wife and child?
I'm an outspoken person and will call people out on their shitty behaviour so I have no problem in telling him he is being very unfair......but I lack any kind of ability to follow up on it as it all gets forgotten about as he carries on like nothing's been said
Sorry but he just doesn't really care OP. An empathic, caring man who loves his wife changes because he wants to stop hurting his partner and wants to see her happy. She doesn't need to threaten to leave before he does so. Some people aren't like this. They will only change if there are consequences (usually their partner leaving them), and by that time it's already too late as they've shown their partner what their true colours are.
I would almost be inclined to say that if he's a bit of a macho man, he might feel emasculated by you....doesn't help if he feels like he has to be driven everywhere, but that's absolutely for him to sort out not you. It might also be why he doesn't want you to go back to work because him being the sole earner has the benefit of keeping you on a financial leash, being able to have a say on what you spend the money on, and also relieve any insecurities about his dominance and masculinity he might have.
Being a single mum is hard......but it sounds like he's weighing you down OP :/