Long back story that I will try and make brief. Several years ago my husband nearly died. He and my son have always been very close, so husband's absence for a couple weeks while he was in the hospital really affected him. I'm pretty sure husband has PTSD from it all, but refuses to speak to anyone about it and constantly says he's fine. Husband also has a temper and looses it quite often, especially when my son (suspected ADHD but husband refuses to accept this and get him tested) won't listen and do as he's told. Husband is struggling to cope with being a parent of two although he is a very good dad most of the time and does loads dor the kids, his temper flares up and he can get nasty.
My husband often feels that he 'deserves more credit' for being such an amazing parent (don't ask me what this means becuase I've asked him and he can't give me an answer). He will often get upset and say things to our son like "when I'm gone I hope you realise how much I've done for you" or "one day I won't be here". I think this is a horribe thing to say to our son who very nearly lost his dad.
This evening husband was calling our son up to come have a shower before bed. Probably had to call him up 5-6 times and then finally got angry at our son. As son was climbing up the stairs husband yelled down to him "maybe I shouldn't be here" to which my son angrily replied "well maybe I shouldn't be here". Husband got angry and yelled don't say that, to which I replied to him "don't you say that Where do you think he gets it from". So then husband got angry and me for saying that about him. Then yelled down to our son "great, now look what you've done." Son didn't really even hear me when I told my husband that, and didn't understand so said to my husband "what do you mean?" Husband replies with "you've turned mum against me now!"
This is not the first time something like this has happened. When husamd yells at our son and our son says sorry, my husband throws it back in his face and says things like "if you were sorry you wouldn't have done it" and "sorry doesn't cut it"