Do you feel 'sexy' and, if so, how?? Totally lost my mojo :(

[WhereHasMyMojoGone]

Just that really.

I used to feel 'sexy'. I don't anymore. I'm attractive enough, I've got a reasonable figure.

I just don't feel sexy. More faintly ridiculous.

I keep on top of 'self care' so nails are nice; hair is nice; I wear minimal make up but look nice when I do; I wear nice clothes; I only wear nice/flattering underwear; I have a fairly high libido but I never feel sexy. Even when I'm having sex I'm just totally disconnected from feeling sexy, attractive or desirable

@litterbird

What an interesting thread....it has made me ponder on the question about feeling sexy? I am mid to late 50s and still have an active sex life....but do I feel sexy? Not sure. My partner tells me all the time I am sexy but to be honest I dont feel it. I enjoy sex a lot with him but feeling sexy day to day, probably not. I look after myself, dress well etc etc, I feel confident in my life but not sexy. Sex drive drove itself out the front door when I was 48 and hit the menopause but soon came back when taking HRT. So, I dont feel sexy, but I enjoy sex, my partner tells me I am sexy but it doesn't really register. So, I dont think you are on your own here OP but it is now something I am going to ponder on for a while.

I think part of the problem fore is that I'd hate to be told that I'm sexy! Which is part of the problem. I think it would turn me right off.

Luckily for me, it's not something I have to deal with very often...

I just don't know what to do to change it!

I think what I'm worried about the most is my reaction to trying out for the other band. My confidence is just shot. I've just been practising because we have our first post lockdown gig this weekend. I really don't want to do it! I'm forcing myself to do stuff because I actually just feel like packing it in all together.

I used to feel really sexy but it looks like menopause has killed feeling sexy for me 😩

I just feel really sad about it this evening.

For various reasons, I've not had a relationship for many years. I was in a loveless, sexless, abusive relationship (the last period of my life when I didn't feel attractive or sexy). I then prioritised my children because I didn't want to bring another man into their lives. I don't regret that decision at all and I have filled the years since with the odd date, casual fling or fwb.

If this is menopause and this is just how it is now, just as my children have flown/preparing to fly the nest. What happens now?

Apologies for not having read all the replies but do you masturbate? Best way to feel sexy is to have that slippery feeling, with super tensed, then relaxed muscles and light headedness. Plus what it does to you brain

Well I nearly posted about that earlier.

I did until quite recently but now I feel stupid and ridiculous doing that too. Almost like I don't even have the right, for want of a better description, to do it. As soon as I start I just switch off.

Ah, that's a shame. It's so natural and it releases masses of feel good hormones. Do you have a favourite book or film that can help you get in the mood? Or some self care - hot bath and body lotion - that makes you feel able to explore yourself? A climax is great but not the be all and end all; all animals self soothe by caressing themselves.